I don’t about you but sometimes, even now, I still struggle around the concept of bragging.

As women, we are raised to believe that we shouldn’t brag about our accomplishments.

Think about it!

How many times have you heard your mother, aunt, or grandmother say:

Yes, that pie I made is delicious! I’m so happy I finally mastered the crust. 


I’m so proud of myself for juggling kids and a career for so many years.


I brag that I ignored the cleaning to treat myself to some self care last night! 

Hmmmm, probably not that often, or maybe ever. It’s likely that you heard the opposite. All the could have would have, should haves or toning down of accomplishments… Like, “Oh, it was nothing…” or “It could have been better…”

We were raised to devalue what was considered “women’s” work and anything that had to do with taking care of our own needs.

This theme has come up a lot recently with my clients. And even though I’ve spent a lot of years reconditioning myself, I notice that sometimes I still second guess myself around my own right to brag.

Around 5 years ago, when I was really beginning to commit to this path of transformation and personal growth, I was incredibly fortunate to be invited to guest teach Nia dance at a retreat in Sayulita, Mexico. It was at this retreat that I was introduced to the teachings of Mama Gena’s School of the Womanly Arts.

Mama Gena seeks to liberate women from 5000+ years of patriarchal oppression through pleasure, fun and flirtation. A bold mission sure, but if anyone’s up for the task, she is.

In fact, she has an entire chapter in her book devoted to the topic of bragging, and how we much reclaim our right to brag as part of our evolution and empowerment.

So ask yourself the following:

  • Do you stay up at night with worry or anxiety about the future?

  • Do you second guess your actions and replaying scenarios in your mind thinking about what you could have done differently?

  • Do you experience regret, shame or guilt over your behaviours or actions of the past?

  • Do you have thoughts that you are a bad person?

  • Do you sometimes (or always) feel like you are not good enough or not accomplishing enough?

If you answered yes to any one of these questions, then it’s time add some mantras and bragging rights to your toolkit.

Tool #1: Daily (wo)mantra

This is the mantra I began saying to myself, over and over again, 5 year ago.

“I am Caitlin. I am whole and I am enough, exactly as I am.”

Say it out loud.
How does it feel?
Insert your name and try it out.

“I am <INSERT YOUR NAME HERE>. I am whole and I am enough, exactly as I am.”

Is there hesitation in your voice? Uncertainty? Do you believe the words as you say them? You might want to come up with your own – find the words that resonate and challenge you to overcome your deepest insecurities or fears about yourself and your place in the world.

When I have clients do this for the first time, they almost never say it with conviction.

It takes practice and repetition and daily action to begin accepting ourselves, as we are right now in this moment, imperfectly perfect. 

To know that you are a divine creation, and happiness and love is your birthright. You don’t have to earn it, chase it, pine for it… it’s yours because you are you.

If this still isn’t quite believable yet – then it’s time for you to start bragging!!

Tool #2: Daily Brags

Grab your journal, and in addition to your daily gratitudes, write down 3-5 brags.

I’ll go first 😉

  • I brag that I convinced my dance teacher to start incorporating Kizomba into our classes, driven by my desire to learn it  AND I brag that I’m prioritize 2-3 dance classes a week, even when I start to feel “selfish” for taking that time away from home, baby and/or work.

  • I brag that I’ve started drinking more matcha to help resist the temptation of caffeine

  • I brag that I’m always striving for better communication with my partner, even when it’s really really hard and I’m really tired

  • I brag that I have beautiful thick hair and I’m enjoying discovering the “real” colour

When I first started doing this, sometimes it was hard to come up with 3-5 brags EVERY SINGLE DAY.

However, as I stuck to it, it gradually because easier and easier. A note on this: Some days you will feel extra crappy, and it seems farfetched to come up with even one brag. These are the days where it’s even MORE important to find something to brag about…ie, stop beating yourself up, and flip the script.

Some friends of mine even started a “brag” email group so that we could brag to each other, and up-level each others brags by celebrating with each others successes.

And here’s your bonus task … Next time you receive a compliment, smile, take a deep breath and really receive the words into your heart, and reply with: Thank you, it’s true.

For example:

OMG, this dinner you cooked was amazing!

 Your response: Thank you, it’s true!!

You look fabulous in that dress!

Your response: Thank you! It’s true.

You’re making some really great changes in your life, and it shows!

Your response: Thank you… it’s true!

It’s time to let our let shine. Get rid of the dimmer switch my friend.

No matter how many times I read the following Marianne Williamson quote, I still need a moment to breathe it in and believe it in my bones.

I remember the first time I read it I was in high school and I started to cry. I wanted so desperately to feel safe and free to shine, and I was terrified to do so. During subsequent years, this quote gave me strength as I shed toxic relationships, broke out of the mould that my small-town upbringing tried to impose on me, and ultimately, I remind myself of it each and every time I start feeling like I need to make myself smaller.

Here’s one final bonus task… forward this email to a friend or family member. Some who’s light could shine a little brighter and who feels like a safe person for you to practice your brags with. Set a phone, Skype or Google Hangout date each week to brag together, uplevel each other’s brags, and practice receiving with “thank you, it’s true!”

Let me know how it goes for you! I’d love to hear! Better yet, post your brags in the comments below, so that I can celebrate and uplevel YOU!!


ps. The March Motivation calls have been so transformative. If you are feeling the pull – sign up for one now by clicking here. There’s only 1.5 weeks left to take part.

pps. I only have one spot left for my 6-month coaching program!! I’m so thrilled to be working with exactly the number of clients I wanted (minus one, which could be you!). I will not be taking any new clients for at least a couple of months. If you’ve been thinking about calling me, setting up a discovery session, etc and have hesitated, please don’t wait any longer to invest in yourself. Remember, by signing up for the March Motivation call, you’ll receive a free month of coaching in my 6-month program.