Are you getting enough Vitamin See?

Hi,

How are you doing this week?

I’ve been honoring World Mental Health Day and National Coming Out Day this week. Make sure to follow me on Facebook (click the icon at the bottom of the page) to check out my two recent posts on these topics that have both affected my life and many I love very personally.

I also finished reading Girl on the Train this week. I didn’t love the book and wouldn’t really recommend it unless you like a psychological thriller and a lot of writing about alcohol. (It could also be potentially triggering depending on where you are in your relationship to alcohol and whether you still experience a lot of shame around what has happened to you while you’ve blacked out, thankfully I’ve released that).

That being said, something really struck me about the characters. The main character obviously had a problem with alcohol, the entire premise of the book was based on this. However, one of the secondary characters also finds herself drinking towards the end of the book, as she feels her world falling apart.

What did they have in common?
They both felt profoundly lonely.
They both felt unseen and misunderstood.

Alcohol helped soothe the pain of this loneliness and lack recognition.

You’ll notice how this experience also ties directly into the experience of many people who struggle with mental health and those of us living life under the LGTT2BQQII aka "queer rainbow of sexual and gender diversity."

There’s a reason why people with mental health challenges and queer folk struggle with alcohol and drugs at much higher rates than the general population.

One of my first mentors in the self-development space, Dara McKinley, describes our need for “Vitamin See.”

“Vitamin See is a no-brainer for babies and children. They demand it and we pour it on, creating an obvious positive outcome. Then, as we become “rational adults,” our need for Vitamin See is hung in the closet. With no map for guiding us to this critical necessity, we are all left to fend for ourselves. We either become desperate from our hunger for it, which fuels competition and posturing, or we pretend it’s not important, which leaves us drained and depressed.”

For many of us here, a lack of Vitamin See leads us to “supplement” with other substances and behaviors, that attempt to fill the void: alcohol, drugs, sugar, food, obsessive exercising, sex, overachieving, perfectionism, excessive helping etc.

Does any of this feel familiar?

Have you ever been made to feel bad about wanting “attention?”

I feel like there was a shift that happened somewhere between childhood and early adolescence that my want and need to feel seen became a bad thing.

Parents and society reinforced this by reinforcing certain kinds of validation (being nice, academic achievements) over others, such as being a wildly creative, expressive young woman.

I was speaking to someone for her first consultation this past Wednesday and I asked her, “what are the biggest BENEFITS of your relationship to alcohol?”

At first, she balked at the question, and blurted out “wow, that's a good question, nobody’s ever asked me that before!”

However, after her initial surprise, it didn’t take her long to list the benefits of excitement, connection, conversation, loss of inhibitions and self-confidence. It also helped her feel comfortable and open up on dates.

How many of these have to do with being SEEN?

Probably almost every single one.

My own relationship to alcohol was very interconnected with my need to be seen, loved and understood… I just didn’t know how to “do” that on my own. And I learned from a young age that alcohol could “do” a lot of that for me.

Ever since I began this journey of redefining my relationship to alcohol, I realized how important it was to be able to share my experiences with others and how much more powerful we are when we come together to support one another... to truly see and be seen. 

As I mentioned in my last email, I have very few spots available for private coaching. I’d love to work with you now. Remember, that if you sign up with me this month, you can also participate in the Be More Membership for 6 months for FREE.

Click here to set up a time to talk.

Here are a few shares from current clients and members of the Be More members on how they are able to show up and feel truly seen: 

"This feels like a safe space. I don't feel I have to edit my thoughts or emotions to fit what is expected, which is HUGE b/c (as you know) I struggle with trying to show up as "perfect."

"I feel like all of me - including the imperfections, the weaknesses, the struggles - not only have a place here, but are honored in the most genuine of ways. Most self care stuff I've done in the past has felt disingenuous. In my short time here and working with you, I feel a deep sense of being loved no matter what (for real, not just saying it without meaning) and mutual understanding that I have never felt. And that now that I think more about it, I think what makes this group and coaching so special is that genuineness of care gives me strength, courage, and safety to be more vulnerable and open with myself, so that I can begin to deeply "see" myself for the first time."

"When I feel like I have no place to go, I remember that I have HERE to go. Fully, completely ME. Real and raw. And it is welcomed with open arms. There is a support network from our hostess/facilitator/coach but also the incredible support from the group. It is a very powerful experience."

If you would like to experience being truly seen and supported, let's connect.

xoxo,


Am I being selfish?

Hi!

In my last email, I wrote about hitting near bottom again, how I rallied support and the ideas that were born out of it.

Then I started to wonder if it’s “too much” me.

The old story of taking up off much space, of being too focused on myself, starts to show up.

It’s true - I’m creating the kind of program that I need and would want to be a part of. That I DO want to be a part of.

And when I release the old story about making this too much about me (and why is that a bad thing, anyway?)– I get so excited about having the passion, purpose, and inspiration to create something meaningful for myself AND everyone who decides to be a part of it.

Last week, I hosted an “Expansion Call” for my friend Maru Iabichela’s program Infinite Receiving. Maru hosts these calls 3 days a week for the duration of her 90-day program. Since she was going to be in Dubai, she asked a couple of her closest friends and co-creators to host the calls in her absence.

I woke up at 5:45 am to get ready and head to the office before the 7 am call.

I absolutely LOVED the experience of starting my day that way. I could see what she was hooked on it, and of said that the calls had been as much for her to channel the messages she needed to receive in her own life, as they were for her community. I’ve seen Maru soar the past year, from when she launched her program to now.

I totally get it. She has created something that, by actively and consistently participating in the content she is creating, and propelled her growth in a big way. And she’s taking hundreds of women along for the ride with her.

It’s beautiful and inspiring and something I want for us.

So am I being selfish by creating a program that meets my own needs? A program that’s designed to give me what I need to show up more fully, be present, grow and continue to BE MORE…

Maybe.

But I also know that the more I share from the heart and create based on what I KNOW is needed and WORKS, the more I am able to be of service and uplift others to join the path I’m on.

It’s co-creation and symbiosis.

It’s supply and demand.

This a community, we’ll grow together. For at least a year, and beyond.

But don't just take it from me ;)

Here are what a few of the Be More Members wrote about why they joined:

“I was feeling a bit stuck lately and have a strong desire to rewrite my story. I go overboard in a lot of areas in my life (mostly alcohol consumption/spending problems) so gaining a healthier relationship with myself where I feel the feelings instead of dulling them/pushing through them with drinking/spending. I'll never reach my health and finance goals if I continue on my current path.”

“I joined because I need a tribe of people that want to "go deep", to explore the good, the scary and the neglected feelings that I've numbed all my life. I am doing this "work" alone, which is necessary, but I also know a group is powerful and we can learn from each other. I'm ready to go to the next level and know with Caitlin as our guide - a guide that won't be "above us" but that will also share and get down to the dirty, gritty truths that allow us to grow and thrive.”

“My main reason for joining is to have a community of supportive like-minded women. I don't really talk about this part of my life with many of my friends and family and really value having a space to share things and talk about self-development and growth and positive life changes. And to also support others going through similar, or any kind of struggle really. And with Caitlin guiding and coaching I will continue on the path I'm on!”

I’m already adding new components, such weekly live Facebook Live training on Mondays and Fridays and I'm sure we'll keep adding as we go and more inspiration strikes.

All of the info right here. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to reach out!

We officially kick off this weekend!! Are you joining us?

xoxo,


A Super Cool Exchange and Some Cinco de Mayo Inspo (this one's a little different)

Hello lovely,

I’m just back from a much needed little mini-vacation to Oaxaca City. I have SO MUCH I can’t wait to share - thoughts on radical honesty, self-love, presence, self-accountability, slowing down, art, a new retreat in the works and so much more. I’m processing a lot and look forward to sharing these thoughts with you soon.

I’ve also had a series of posts brewing inside of me on the difference between moderate and mindful drinking.

I’ve come to realize that so much of what we do here is about WAY MORE than simply learning to moderate.

We go WAY DEEPER than talking about strategies and dive into the mindset, healing, and major lifestyle changes.

To kick off this series on Mindful drinking, I have something really cool and a little different to share.

First, a question that a reader sent me about finding a strategy for mindful drinking - that really works.

“I know people who are looking at me from the outside, aren't thinking I have a drinking problem.... many of my friends I've opened up to say, I had no idea!  And that's the thing... I don't get wasted alone or anything, it's always the occasional blackout WITH my friends which makes me feel so ashamed and regretful. I HATE browning/blacking out. That's NOT the point of drinking... But sometimes, when I'm with friends and they keep going, I want to keep going too... and I just 'forget' to think of the bigger picture and KNOW my limits.

How did you finally find your strategy that WORKS for you.... how did you have the self-control to HOLD yourself to the limits?”

I responded to her and told her I’d be writing a newsletter/blog on the topic and also encouraged her to post her question in the Facebook group (have you joined? If not, info on how to is at the end of this email)

One of the responses from one of our community members just blew me away, and I decided to share her words instead of mine this week.

It’s a powerful testimony to how to make the “Drink Less, Be More” philosophy of mindful drinking work for you.

When I first spoke with Aoife almost 3 years ago, we were both in tears during the initial consultation. She had almost given up hope that change was possible for her. I encouraged her to have faith and trust that a new life was available to her. She later became my most amazing copy editor for the book Drink Less Be More and an active participant in the beta group of the “Drink Less Be More Masterclass” (which will launch again in June - stay tuned!)

Here’s what Aoife had to say about her commitment to mindful drinking:

  1. I made a concrete decision to change - no matter what - and prioritized this.

  2. ​You [the reader] spoke about a feeling of sometimes not caring and just wanting to let loose - I felt that a lot. What I did is I changed "let loose" to "self-soothe". There are more ways to let loose than through alcohol, that's just the most obvious one. Now is the perfect time to find others. Often I noticed that when I thought I "needed a drink" I was really needing soothing or reassuring or something else. Sometimes self-soothing involved listening to loud rock music and watching an action movie and sometimes it involved baking or knitting. I say be willing to broaden your definition of "letting loose" and experiment with things that are healthier for you.

  3. I never drink when I am in an emotional mood (e.g. elated, down or angry). EVER. That was when I was more prone to make poor choices before so I only drink when I am in a grounded place.

  4. Know the times, places and people you need to be careful around in relation to drinking. Prepare in advance for being in those situations or with those people and support yourself. Pub drinking was my danger zone and certain friends would really pressure me to drink. I still go to pubs occasionally but I won't drink in pubs (I prefer to have a drink with food or in homes of friends and family) and I have certain friends I just won't drink with.

  5. I planned when I was going to drink and how much. The "in the moment" drinking so often led me down a dark/dangerous/blackout path. At first, I needed to be really controlled about planning in advance. I'd decide in advance "I'll be out at lunch on Saturday, if I feel like a red wine, I'll have one." When I was going on holiday I planned in advance to have one drink each day. Planning in advance also built my self-belief around having control over drinking. Now I am confident I can make an "in the moment" decision (but I will still only have a drink if I'm in a safe place, with appropriate people, in a calm mood, not in a pub etc.)

  6. When you are having a drink, sip and savor. Really enjoy it. Also, if it helps, make your next drink non-alcoholic and totally different in taste, flavor or temperature. I might enjoy a glass of wine and then have a tea. Don't know why, but that helped me "draw a line" under the drinking part when I was starting to moderate and now I do it from habit.

  7. Lastly when you decide to change that means that things WILL change - and not only habits, but it's likely that you will change as a person - your priorities, your idea of what is fun etc. It can take a while to find your feet with this new way of being, but after a little while momentum builds and it gets easier. Other peoples perceptions and expectations of you change too. For so long I was "party girl", the one who could always be relied on for a night of drinking. It took a while for the people around me to accept that I wasn't going to be drinking to obliteration anymore. Now that they accept this, I can be out with them and not drink and it's not even mentioned anymore!

The last thing is just that for me, these changes have been soooo worth it! I have so much more money, energy, creativity. I feel like I can trust myself. I feel proud of myself instead of ashamed (as I so often was). So much of my time, energy and brainpower was locked up with alcohol. Now it's gorgeous to be able to have a drink if I want one but not to need it anymore, to feel social or relax or feel part of a crowd. Now my self-identity is of someone who has a healthy relationship with alcohol and that "pull" that used to be there to drink before just isn't there anymore. It took a bit of work to get to a place I am happy with, but it's so worth it.

I totally trust that you will find out what is best for you and I'm absolutely cheering you on in your journey. Let me know if I can help in any way.”

I hope that Aoife’s share was helpful for you to read!

If you have a specific question about mindful drinking - let me know!! I’d love to feature your question in an upcoming post on the topic.

If you liked hearing from a community member, also let me know! I can see how we can continue to share more features and success stories.

Make sure to keep reading for a yummy mock margarita recipe and tips for getting through cinco de mayo mindfully.

Xoxo

LIQUID TREATS

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Here is the perfect margarita mocktail mix to celebrate with mindfulness. Just mix together, garnish your drink rim (optional) and enjoy! If you have plans to go out tonight, remember to set you intentions BEFORE you head out. Think about how you want to feel during and at the end of the night, and work backwards from there. If possible, share your intentions with a friend, your significant other, or in the Facebook group! Of course, there's nothing wrong with opting out of the festivities and enjoying a mocktail at home - which is what I plan on doing!!

INGREDIENTS

  •  ¼ cup lime juice

  • ¼ cup lemon flavored sparking water

  • ¼ cup lime flavored sparkling water

  • ¼ cup orange juice

  • Agave syrup (optional/to taste)

  • ice

  • Optional: salt & lime to garnish


Feeling pain is a privilege, and here’s why...

How are you this week?

My current status has gone from emotional rollercoaster (which I rode for the first few weeks of my separation) to “deep in it.”

Moving into my new apartment was the catalyst for this deep dive into my feelings.

Going through the motions of packing my things and leaving the home Luis and I had built together as we were expecting our daughter’s arrival was really hard.

Having space and solitude as I settled into my new apartment and tried to make it feel like home meant there was room to feel the deep sadness, disappointment, and pain that had been barely contained beneath the surface for the past few weeks.

And something I’ve learned about being truly present and willing to feel pain with no distraction is that what rises to the surface isn’t necessarily only about the current experience but may trigger feelings and pain that had been suppressed in the past.

Which is why one heartbreak can feel like revisiting all love lost in the past.

Here’s something else I’ve come to learn.

Feeling our pain deeply is a privilege.

It means we are strong.
It means we are resilient.
It means we trust ourselves enough to know that we can survive this.
It means that we have faith that after the deep dive we will rise again, and thrive.

Knowing this and being able to risk the uncertainty means that we are privileged enough to know that our survival isn’t in question.

For example, I couldn’t feel the depth of pain from abandonment and trauma that I experienced as a child and teenager because I didn’t yet know I was strong enough.

I had to make myself strong enough by stuffing those experiences deep down where I wouldn’t feel them because to feel the depth of betrayal would have been unbearable at the time.

Some people go through their entire lives in survival mode, never feeling safe or supported enough to truly experience their pain.

The tragedy here is that when cut off from experiencing the depths of our pain, we are also denied the opportunity to feel the heights of our joy.

One of our FB support group members posted this quote a few days ago, and it resonated so much with me.

“Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our whole lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy - the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

Brene Brown

Something else I’ve learned?

It’s really hard to be brave by yourself.

It’s really hard to take risks if you don’t know that you are supported.

That’s why healing truly takes a village.

Here’s who I have on my team:

  • A healer/therapist/energy worker/flower remedy expert/astrologer who I see at least every two weeks if not more frequently

  • A holistic business coach

  • A thetahealer, frequencies energy worker and essential oil expert on heavy rotation for consultations

  • A handful of “biz besties” who understand the complexities of being a mom,entrepreneur, and woman

  • Hundreds of women who are part of several groups I PAY to be a part of specifically because they bring together women who share the same values as me and who are committed to similar paths of healing, growth, and expansion

  • Supportive and loving family and friends

  • Our Evolve: Drink Less Be More support group

  • My clients - yes, I consider my clients are part of my team because their commitment to taking risks and showing up for themselves courageously reinforces my commitment to my own health and healing, daily!

It is because of this “village” that I feel privileged enough to deep dive into pain.

I’ll give you an example from a client.

She had basically been sitting on her homework of doing a fire release ritual because she was afraid of what would come up for her. After spending some time reaching out to the Facebook group, opening up to her husband, going to a support group locally AND having two sessions with me where I supported her to take this big step, here’s what she wrote to me:

“I feel amazing today!  Light, full of energy, and thinking that life has so many opportunities for me!  In January I was laying on the couch thinking I truly was finished with life, that there was nothing left for me.  I was done.  Moving from bed to couch to bed day after day.

Today I am feeling like I want more hours in the day because I have so many things I want to explore, to do, to create!”

Now, my client wouldn’t have had this experience if she’d stayed stuck in her cycle. She reached out and set multiple wheels in motion to create some massive shifts in her life. She felt fear, which even paralyzed her briefly, but she was able to move through it because she knew she was supported and safe. She had her team in place to hold her if need be. And now she’s experiencing the privileges - the full of energy and optimism.

Do you have your team?

Do you feel supported and safe enough to move beyond simply surviving into truly thriving??

There are still a few spots available for the Spring Cleaning Fire Ritual and private coaching at my super special "3 years in biz" offer. If you didn't get a chance to read about it on Monday, click here. 

It would be an absolute honour and privilege to be on your team and to support you during this powerful season of transformation and growth.

xoxo,


Holiday Hit List!

Are you getting into the spirit yet? No, I didn’t mean spirit(s) like the boozy kind… though I know from chatting with clients and community members that this time of year can be triggering.

That’s why I’m focusing this email on my “holiday hit list” for you - my favorite articles and tools to help this season go as smoothly and soberly (if that’s your desire) as possible.

Also - I slammed my finger in my car door on Monday and it’s still incredibly hard to type/write!!

All the more reason to reshare these gems, I say! If you’ve already read these articles, then skip ahead for 2 amazing free downloads and 15% of a perfect gift for your wish list (or to gift yourself!)

If you haven’t read it yet - here’s my most recent article on Mind Body Green. These practical tips will help you handle holiday stress without resorting to booze.

If you feel your stomach knot with anxiety at the thought of holiday parties upon parties, here are my tips for avoiding a two-week hangover this holiday season.

If you’ve already experienced going overboard at a party and are experiencing the emotional aftermath, here’s some tips on releasing the shame and taking care of yourself.

If the thought of you family members over-drinking is worrisome and makes you want to avoid family gatherings altogether, check out my article on dealing with a family member’s unhealthy drinking.  

If you are looking for some inspiration for decadent non-alcoholic alternatives for the holidays, check out these fancy libations compiled by my friend the Sober Señorita. (Warning: if sugar is a big trigger for you, it’s probably best NOT to open this. Instead, stick to some healthier holiday spritzers, such as sparkling water, cold pressed apple juice, and frozen cranberries… served in a champagne flute or wine glass - so pretty!!)

I also want to take this opportunity to introduce you to a few very special women.

The first is Patty Swiatly. Patty first came to me as a client over one and a half years ago. She found out about me through The Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN), where we both trained and received our coaching certification. Patty was struggling with her alcohol use and feeling that it was blocking her from successfully transitioning from her work as a massage therapist into coaching. She was more right than she knew!! Over the course of our work together, we discovered that Patty wasn’t only blocking herself as a coach, she was also blocking her true intuition and the unique gift that she has to share with the world.

As a deeply empathic, intuitive, sensitive soul - Patty is also a powerful healer and energy worker. In the past year and a half, she has completely transformed her practice to step into her potential and share her gifts doing Holistic Coaching for the Soul. I have personally experienced the depth of Patty’s knowledge and guiding during three sessions with her and I consistently recommended her FREE guide “Supercharge Your Chakras and Tips for Balance Your Unique Chakra System” to my clients. This guide is packed with really practical tips on how to work with your chakras. This time of year is apt to throw us off balance, and incorporating these tips into your self-care practices will be so beneficial!

Next, meet Cassie Mitchell. Cassie and I also first met through IIN and then again in B-School. Cassie reached out to me as she was getting her biz going and we totally connected. It was so amazing for me when Cassie came to Puerto Escondido (where I live) and we were able to meet in person. Over the years, we’ve become closer as we’ve both become mothers and have prioritized holistic health and wellness for our families.

As I began incorporating essential oils into my life more and more, Cassie became my go-to gal. We recently managed to find a time in our busy schedules to meet and discuss how to use oils as a remedy for stress during this holiday season, and how to become your own medicine woman. I loved this conversation and hope you do too! I rarely do calls from home but the time we found to connect (Cassie’s in Hawaii and I’m in Mexico - so the timezones and our kid's schedules needed to be factored in and this call was while Luna was sleeping) so you get to see a bit of my back yard. Watch this 20-minute video for our top three oil picks and uses etc

My friend Nicole had an incredible idea when she came up with the “Diosa Box” - basically - self-care made easy and delivered to your door! These sumptuous collections keep you inspired to pamper yourself as the Goddess you know you are and to celebrate, we’ve been offered 15% off!! Wahoo! Simply entered the promo code GODDESS when you make your first purchase!

Available this month are the following two boxes:

Gratitude is focused on gratitude with a daily journal, cooking herbs, and a few beauty items to nourish face and body like a mask, serum and coffee scrub.

JOY is focused on finding and maintaining joy during the holidays. It's cozy with a candle, bath soak lip balm, honey and a party detox blend.

The promo code works with either a one-time purchase or when you sign up for the subscription. What a perfect gift for yourself! Make sure to check out @diosabox on Instagram to drool over their amazing photos!

I hope this email has provided you with all you need to take care of yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually this holiday season. If you feel the need for more support, make sure to join our super secret Facebook community. Just reply to this email and let me know you’d like to join and I’ll add you via email to the group (you’ll receive an email from Facebook asking you to join). Even though this group is secret and not searchable online, I realize that you might like a bit more privacy. If so, click here to set up a time to chat privately.

Sending you so much love!!


One Year Anniversary!

Today is 11/11.

It marks the one year anniversary of the launch of my book, Drink Less Be More: How to have a great night, and life, without getting wasted. I picked the launch date because 1111 is an angel number. Many people associate the repeating 1111 with a ‘wake-up call’, a ‘Code of Activation’ and/or an ‘Awakening Code’, or ‘Code of Consciousness’.

I always believed I was being divinely guided to write this book. In fact, the inspiration to write the book was one of my clearest “talking to God” moments. It hit me like a ray of light coming down from the heavens and I heard God’s voice: You must write this book for women who struggle with alcohol.

This is before I even began studying to be a holistic health coach. I was only baby steps into the transformation of my own relationship to alcohol.

Yet I knew that I was being called to serve in a big way. Writing a book was always a huge part of that.

11/11 is also the day of Remembrance in Canada and many countries around the world. It’s a day to honor those who risked their lives to be of service and to celebrate the resiliency of the human spirit.

The one-year anniversary of my book also falls on what has been an incredibly emotional week for many. The presidential elections in the United States have led to increases in anxiety, stress, fear, resurfacing of PTSD symptoms from past traumas being triggered.

There is something more than just the timing that joins my book, Remembrance Day, and the effects of the election together.

It’s the fact that alcohol is so often used a coping mechanism for trauma. It has been well-documented that veterans suffer in higher numbers from alcohol and substance abuse disorders.

This is also true for survivors of abuse, trauma and childhood loss.

According to Dr Frank Ochberg, “Alcohol is the most common self-medication for PTSD. It reduces awareness, blunts traumatic memory, helps with insomnia, and allows inhibited people to socialize.”

While you may never have fought a physical battle at war with another country, you may have waged war against your own body.

You may be the survivor of emotional, spiritual or physical abuse that told you “you’re not enough, you’re not okay, you are undeserving of love.”

You may have used alcohol to cope with pain, loss and grief.

You may have struggled with debilitating anxiety or awkwardness socializing, making friends, or becoming intimate.

You may have been betrayed, abandoned, heartbroken.

You likely used alcohol to cope. It’s so easy. It’s there. It starts in highschool or college. It allows you to turn off, to disconnect from the negative self-talk, to break free of the bonds and the barriers you’ve created to keep yourself safe in your day to day, to feel wild joy and passion, even briefly. It allows to you forget. It gives you permissions. And it works beautifully for many years. Until it doesn’t.

Until it doesn’t. Until you start realizing that you are slipping further away from yourself. That the control you thought you had is becoming an illusion. Until you realize the pain you sought to bury isn’t going anywhere, that the cycles and bad choices keep repeating themselves. Until enough time has passed and you are stronger, more aware, more resilient, and you are ready to do the real, honest and difficult work to heal.

This book only scratches the surface but it’s a really good start.

This book supports the idea that there IS another way to that freedom, joy and “okay-ness” you so desire.

This book is one of the things I’m most proud of in my life.

Which is why, as a celebration, it’s available for FREE on Kindle all day today. If you already have bought the book, I thank you! Please share this with someone else.

If you own a copy of the book, please post a pick of you reading it, with the hashtag #drinklessbemore #showmeyourbook Here’s an example:

If you’ve already read the book and it has impacted your life, please write a review on Amazon so that others will feel inspired to read the book as well. Here’s an example of a testimonial that was so personal and heartfelt, I cry every time I read it:

"I'm 36yr old and a busy Momma to 5 beautiful children. I found myself drinking a lot in the last 9 months. I was exhausted, mentally and physically. I turned to alcohol to try and numb it all. Having twin infants and a 2yr old home with me alone all day, every day is a lot.
My marriage was super rocky, I was extra "snappy" with my big kids. But really I hated me. I started to gain weight and I thought my only solution was to drink when my kids went to bed.
I started reading Caitlin’s Drink less be more, and it took me awhile to get into it and open up within myself. (Finding time to read with twins and a busy 2yr old also isn't easy).
And then about 2.5 months ago, I woke up super hungover, babies crying, infant demanding breakfast and all I wanted to do was crawl under my bed and hide.
I didn't want to be a Mom this day. I started bawling, thinking why am I doing this to myself?? And to my kids.
From that minute on. I started reading more and more. Every spare moment I had, I would pick up the book.
And I would also like to say from that day on, I have abstained from alcohol, not a single drop.
I feel amazing. it's been a little over two months (I honestly don't even know that actual date) I've lost 15 pounds, my skin is fresh, my mind is clear. Not only that, but I've been getting stuff done around my house that I’d put off for months.
I'm enjoying every minute of being a Mom again. My relationship with my hubby is stronger than it has ever been, we are having the best sex ever, and sober sex... who knew it would be so great?!
So all in all, it's the best decision I've made yet. I feel on top of the world.
Caitlin, I haven't even had a chance to write to you until now. My life is pure chaos, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Your book is simply amazing. I'm reading it again and I missed so much my first read. You have a way of using words that speak directly to me and others, obviously. You are a very gifted writer. Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart."

I have some amazing prizes including Amazon gift cards and months of free coaching!! Everyone who writes a review and/or posts a photo will be entered (and if you do both or post more than one pic, you get as many entries as posts)!

I know now more than ever it’s so important to share this message and to ensure that those of us who are struggling have as many supports and tools as possible.

Thank you, thank you thank you!

xoxo,
Caitlin


Meet some of the women who said yes

It can be even scarier to join a group of women that you don’t know but are joining together because you’ve all struggled with alcohol.

As one new participant just wrote to me “Although somewhat fearful, I look forward to the 6 week program!!”

I get it, I really do.

I also know that it can be scary to spend money on something like this.

There certainly are other options available to you. You can stick with the free, DIY, piece-it-together approach. There’s a lot of great info out there and a lot of not-so-great info out there.

You can go to AA meetings or other 12 step meetings or moderation management and download resources online. You can try different options and sift through what you find online and see what resonates.

On the other hand, there’s private therapy, coaching, and treatment centres that cost hundreds or thousands of dollars. You can also sift those options and see what’s a good fit.

Whatever you decide, I encourage you to DO SOMETHING if you are serious about making changes this year.

TAKE ACTION - that’s how you are finally going to break the cycle and truly show up for yourself.

I’ve seen time and time again within this community the relationship between the willingness to invest in oneself (that can be a financial investment or an investment of time or of being of service and often a combination of all three) and the ability to be substantive changes.

You may also want to ask yourself “what’s it going to cost you NOT to make these changes??”

At this point, you know better than anyone whether you are ready. You know if you’re wiling to invest in your health and happiness.

You may just be wondering if this Masterclass is the right fit for you.

I thought it might be helpful to get to know some of the other women in the program - to see what kinds of women are saying YES to themselves and each other.

  • There’s the 30-something year old expat living overseas, who realized her drinking was getting out of control and every occasion was an occasion to drink. While she’s managed to create limits for her drinking while out socially, she still struggles with moderation at home.

  • The woman who is turning 60 this year and wants to gift herself a powerful and transformative change for this important milestone. She’s been able stop drinking alone, yet finds that in social situations her anxiety or excitement sometimes gets the best of her and she ends up drinking more than she’d like.

  • The woman who travels a lot for work and would like to redefine her relationship to alcohol. It feels like a treat and not a "must have" each day. She’s like to get to a place where she feels comfortable to “pass” even (or maybe especially) when it’s offered for free (such as when it’s offered on first class flights)

  • The mother of 3 who has tried AA and doesn't believe that “all or nothing” is right for her. She wants to be able to enjoy a glass of wine over dinner with friends AND no longer wants to allow it to drag her down. Her goal is to create a life so fulfilling that alcohol feels like an afterthought.

  • The 60+ year old retired school teacher who noticed that drinking was becoming her hobby and she’d become a bored habitual drinker. She envisions becoming physically and mentally stronger, knowing that SHE is the one who gets to choose and take control of her life, and welcome all kinds of new adventures experiences.

Do you see yourself in any of these women?

While their life experiences and visions for themselves might differ slightly, ALL are committed to taking action and coming together to learn, grow, challenge themselves and support one another.

It’s beautiful and I am beyond excited to support these women.

It’s not too late to click here to apply and join this year’s Masterclass, today!!  

We’ve added 1-1 coaching calls with me at the beginning and end of the program and as soon as your registered, we can schedule the first one. There will be a new private Facebook group for members where I will be active doing lifestreams in addition to the weekly live Q&A calls. My amazing assistant Maylene will be contributing TONS of individualized support as well - she’s a gifted seer and intuitive healer and has to much to share in self-development. We’ve added more new content to the 6 modules, and have a month of support added after to see you through the holidays and into the new year.

What an incredible gift to yourself!

As always, feel free to email me directly with any questions you have.

xoxo


Questions about the Masterclass? All the answers in here :)

Hi!

There have been some great questions about the group program and I’ll do my best to answer them here. You can also feel free to email me anytime! Just reply to this email. If you are sure you'd like to apply and just haven't had a chance to do so yet - click here for the application. 

What is the format of the Masterclass?

You will receive two emails a week for 6 weeks and there will be weekly group coaching calls (on Thursdays). On Monday, the email will cover the topic of the week, the weekly reading, reflection questions and activities to start incorporating. On Friday, you will receive a recording of Thusday’s call and further strategies for the weekend. There will also be a secret Facebook group exclusive for DLBM Masterclass participants. There will be Livestreams in this group and plenty of opportunities for interaction and support.

Where will the classes be hosted?

The classes are hosted online, using a free software called Zoom. This allows for either video or phone participation, and you have the option to use video or not. There is also a chat function. More info will be sent once you've been accepted into the program.

What if I’m in a faraway timezone or can’t make some of the calls?

Once all of the participants are selected, we will do our best to accommodate everyone’s timezone. Last time we ran this program, we had participants from as far away as Manila and Dublin and everywhere in between. If you have a prior commitment or are unable to make one of the calls, you can submit your question in advance and I will answer it on the call. This is also why we record the calls to ensure that you can access the info at any time. And the recordings are yours to keep forever!

How much individual support will I receive?

There are plenty of opportunities for coaching from me during this 6 week program. Each participant starts and ends the program with a private 15 minute call with me so that we can get crystal clear on your intentions and so that you feel supported at the end of the program to continue on your own.

I am available and hands on the Facebook group, you can ask questions during the Livestreams, and most importantly you can ask questions during the weekly coaching calls. This is more live connection than my 1-1 clients receive! This is a group program specifically designed for you to have the support of other women as well - so the support is in a group format. If you are thinking that you would like more individualized support, 1-1 coaching may be the way to go (which starts at a minimum 3 month commitment). If you have questions about this, let me know!

What topics does the Masterclass cover?

This six week comprehensive Master Class consists of six modules and an integration component that explains in simple and practical steps HOW to redefine your relationship to alcohol. It also creates an opportunity for dialogue and connection with other like minded women who bring compassion and support to a shared struggle.

Week 1-Intentions

Week 2-Positive thinking and Accountability

Week 3-Strategies

Week 4-Healthy habits/Health Impacts

Week 5-Relationships/Sex/intimacy/Dating

Week 6-Integration of strategies learned, goal setting for moving forward

Follow up and follow through (one month additional accountability to see you through the holiday season and into the New Year!)

I’ve already read your book - how will this be different?

There is nothing like real-life accountability and support! Reading the book is a great start and some people have been able to make significant changes by implementing the strategies from Drink Less Be More: How to have a great night (and life) without getting wasted. However, this program is designed to take you even deeper into the concepts, the self-reflection, and perhaps most importantly, to give you the nudge to take action. I share many of the techniques that I use with my private clients with the added benefit of having others learning and growing alongside you - which is really inspiring and motivating.

How do I know this is for me?

Wish you could drink casually without worrying about overdoing it and what could happen?

Feel like you need/want to change your dynamic with alcohol but don’t know how or what to do

Hide alcohol, drink secretly or feel shame about how much or how often you drink?

Feel overwhelmed by trying to limit or control drinking on your own?

Have tried ways to stop or limit drinking that haven’t stuck?

Wish that you had support support to talk about these issues from people who understand and have been there?

If you said yes to any of these questions - the Masterclass is a great fit for you!

How much does the Masterclass cost and are there payment plans available?

The paid in full cost is $497 USD. If you require a payment plan, you can choose either 2 payments of $267 or 3 payments of $187.

First payments (or paid in full) is due as soon as your application is accepted to secure your spot, and if choosing a payment plan, your total investment is due before the close of the program.

While there are free programs out there, many will force you into a box where you don’t belong! I have yet to find another option that provides you with so much individualized support to come up with a personalized plan that works for YOU and your unique goals and desires.

This program is an incredible value considering the amount of live coaching and support offered during the 6 weeks and implementation phase. Let this be your gift to yourself to finally make the changes you’ve been wanting to make and to have this be a holiday season to remember! (Literally!) Start 2017 feeling empowered and with healthier habits to help you truly live the life of your dreams.

Why is there an application process?

Because of the intimate nature of this group, it is important to have group cohesion and to foster safety and support. This program is also unique in that we support you to identify your own goals regarding your relationship to alcohol. This means that it is different from traditional abstinence-only approaches. We want to make sure that everyone joining the Masterclass is aligned with the philosophy.

Here is what a previous participant had to say about the approach: 

“I really enjoyed being in the Masterclass with Caitlin. She is very supportive as she guides you to make your own rules around moderation. I also loved being in the group with other like-minded women who want to grow and support you in your growth too, along with other fun activities that Caitlin threw in every week. If you are looking for moderation with others and how to have fun without alcohol, then I definitely recommend the Masterclass!”

When are applications due by?

Applications are due by Oct 28th however admission is rolling and we will begin reviewing applications and notifying participants asap. If you are interested please submit your application as soon as you can to ensure your spot because once they are filled, the class won’t reopen until late next Spring.

Click here for direct access to the application form. If you have any further questions, let me know asap! Just reply to this email.

I realized in my last email we forgot to include the link to my "It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to" blog - in which I talk about how different my life is now compared to birthdays of years past. It helps explain my personal evolution from then to now, and why this Masterclass is so deeply important for me - it truly is what I wish I could have found years ago when I was struggling.

I look forward to reading your questions or better yet, receiving your application!!

xoxo


Supercharge September - Let's Do This

For the past two years since launching my business, I've held some variation of a "supercharge September" initiative. Usually, it has been discounted and shorter opportunities to work with me 1-1.

But since my 1-1 roster is still full (I will have a couple of spots opening up later in September, more on that below) - I've decided to try something new this year! This September, I'll be leading a 21-day Supercharge September Challenge.

It's FREE for our community members and starts on September 5th. If you're already a part of our super secret and supportive Facebook community, then you don't need to do a thing.

If you'd like to join, reply to this email and let know why you'd like to supercharge September and what you hope to get out of this challenge.

This will be an opportunity to:
- set clear intentions for September and the rest of the year
- redefine your relationship to alcohol with the support of like-minded women (whatever that looks like to you, you can try a sober September or try moderation - it's totally up to you!!
- get on track with daily habits such as a solid morning and evening routine, a new nutrition plan, better sleep, etc
- meet and share with amazing women - listen to livestreams on relevant topics
- participate in a kick-off webinar Tuesday, September 6th with a Q&A
- and much more!!

Again, all of this is FREE!!

All you need to do is reply to this email and tell me why you want to participate (after all, it all starts with getting clarity on your intentions) and you'll be added to the group.

If you know that you'd also like 1-1 support to create powerful change, I do have a few spots opening up in September. Here's what Eileen said after just 2 months of coaching with me:

"I am really enjoying working with you. You are making me see things in my own behavior that no one else has been able to. I feel less a lot less guilt, too. Your approach about being kinder to myself has been a big win for me. I've noticed my confidence growing and actually WANTING to spend time doing healthier things vs. feeling like I CAN'T drink. It's been a much more positive spin and I don't feel rebellious at all, like I did before. I think I've done everything everyone else thought I should do for my whole life, and now I'm making my own choices. By doing this, I feel much less like I want to escape."

As you know, I love love looooooove my work with 1-1 clients. I wish I could work with EVERYONE who wants this kind of support however, because of the time and energy required to fully show up and help someone make such a massive change in their lives, I can only accept a small number of private clients at a time.

If you are interested in working with me before the New Year, I would encourage you to set up a time to chat to see if it's a good fit for you. Once the 2 spots available are filled, I will not be accepting new clients until next year.

Now there's no excuse to make this month and the rest of the year amazing!!

Don't forget to let me know if you want to join the September Challenge or set up a strategy session to see if we're a good fit for 1-1 work together.

xoxo


Nailed It

I'm not sure if you know this about me already,  but I'm like a sponge for self-development.

I love it, I'm hooked on it, and I also see it as professional development. Bonus! This means that whenever I invest in another course (which is pretty much all the time because I'm always learning) I'm also investing in my business, and my clients and community also get to reap the benefits.

I'm currently taking a course called Infinite Receiving. The title is pretty self-explanatory... it's all about expanding our capacity to receive. We have daily dares and a few days ago, the dare was to use this reframe: Instead of downplaying all of the great things you do in a day, claim them and end the sentence with the words: NAILED IT.

This seems to simple but it's so powerful. I see women downplaying their accomplishments way too often. Or, finding the one little thing to criticise about something that is otherwise awesome.

Three times this past week, I opened up emails from three different clients that had the subject line using the word FAIL in it. WHAT!?! The body of the message included many great changes and different choices they had made, yet it was what they did wrong that they were focusing on.

I caught myself doing the same thing yesterday when I watched the sneak preview of a video I'm in to promote the upcoming launch of my business mentor's course (more on that soon). Instead of praising myself for the wise words I shared, for my poise on camera, for how great my hair looked, for showing my energy and personality on camera... I immediately started thinking about how annoying my voice sounded. (Not what I was saying... just the actual sound of my voice) WHAT!?!?

Thankfully I had accepted this dare a few days before and I immediately switched how I was talking to myself about it. That on-camera interview: NAILED IT!!

I shared this with our Facebook group and there was a really great response.

One person shifted their perspective from "I haven't reached my weight loss goal yet" to "I've lost 9 pounds already, nailed it!"

Another shared "I've worked through 2.5 hours of emails I've been putting off, now I have relaxing ME time planned - nailed it!!"

And another "Instead of focusing on the things I'm not doing great yet, I'm choosing to focus on all of the healthy choices I HAVE made recently - nailed it!"

Isn't it fun? Don't you feel better just reading these? I sure did. And if you are feeling overwhelmed and in a stuck place and not sure what you are nailing... if anything? (I know this can be tricky, similarly to how finding things to be grateful can be hard when you are feeling really down on yourself.)

Try this:
Got out of bed this morning - nailed it.
Read this email (which is a form of taking action on my health) - nailed it.
Thinking about change, which means acknowledging some uncomfortable truths about myself - nailed it.
Making myself a cup of tea instead of pouring a second glass of wine - nailed it.
Stocking up on healthy alternatives - nailed it.

So tell me, what have you nailed this week?

xoxo