How to thrive a holiday

With American Thanksgiving this week and Christmas holiday season around the corner, here are some of my top tips on how to not only survive, but thrive, through any holiday.

Practice Gratitude!!

It’s called a practice for a reason - it’s something to which we need to dedicated conscious time. Set aside some time in the morning of Thanksgiving to write in your journal. Start each sentence with the words “I am happy and grateful for…”

You may list things that are already true in your life, and gratitude for your future self and your dreams coming true.

If your family or the people you celebrate with do not already have a tradition of going around the table and sharing gratitudes, why not start that tradition?

As my friend Lana Shlafer wrote today “So whether you live in the US and celebrate Thanksgiving or not, I invite you to spend some time this week making lists of what you're grateful for, telling those you love why you love them and spreading appreciation wherever you go.

Not only will you brighten your day, but you'll be a powerful beacon of love to those around you.”

If you are feeling down, depressed or really triggered during this holiday or time of year, try the technique that Tony Robbins talks about in his book Awaken the Giant Within. He writes that even if you do not feel grateful in the moment, you can always ask yourself “What could I be grateful for?”

Make a special plan:

Revise your intentions or your own personal alcohol agreement for the day/holiday. Factor in the time of the meal, how you want to feel before, during and especially AFTER, and work backwards from there. Come up with specific strategies that will work for this unique settling. Do you need to bring a non-alcoholic beverage with you? What time will you begin drinking? How will you space out your drinks? What will you alternate your drinks with?

Remember that YOU are in control:

With so many factors that might feel OUT of your control, with family obligations, lengthier meals, more alcohol being consumed around you, food you might not normally eat, it can feel overwhelming and destabilizing. Remind yourself of what you CAN control and focus on that…

Start your day with intention:

Make sure to follow your healthy morning routine in the morning. This sends a powerful message that you are taking care of your body and mind first and foremost. Drink water and lemon, tea and/or green juice. Take a few moments to journal your intentions. Visualize the occasion with the most positive outcome you can imagine. Focus on that rather than everything that could possibly go wrong.

Take 5 (or 10):

There’s nothing wrong with taking breaks! When we’re out of our normal routine or around a crush of family, we can easily lose our center. If you find yourself particularly sensitive to other people’s energy, it can be especially important to take little breaks. Excuse yourself to lay down for 10 minutes and plug in a mini-meditation or some chakra balancing music. Head to the bathroom and put a drop of floral or calming essential oils into your palms, rub them together and inhale deeply for 10 breaths. It’s amazing how quickly this can reset your energy and bring you back into yourself.

At the dinner table:

1. Deep belly breathing: Here’s something you can do at the dinner table if you’re feeling yourself tense up or feeling triggered. Take a deep breath through your nose, expanding your belly. This activates your diaphragm and takes you out of “fight or flight” and into a calmer state. Hold for a second at the top and then breathe out very slowly, pulling your belly in toward your spine.

2. Mantra for peace: This is a simply and sneaky technique that you can use in any public situation to remind yourself that peace starts from within. You can of course say this aloud of are comfortable doing so or are by yourself, or you can say the words to yourself.

  • Touch your index finger to the thumb on your same hand and say the word “peace.”

  • Switch, touching your middle finger to your thumb and say “begins.”

  • Continue down the line, touching your ring finger with your thumb and say “with.”

  • Touch your pinky finger to your thumb and say “me.”

Have fun with Holiday themed mocktails:

Who said drinking less meant being stuck with boring ol’ water? Make it fun for yourself (and your guests) and try some new mocktail recipes. There are really delicious and healthy seasonal options including ingredients such as persimmons, cranberries, ginger, mint, pear, cinnamon, cloves, rosemary etc. I google’d “healthy thanksgiving mocktails” and found some amazing options.

What are your favourite strategies for thriving the holidays? I’d love to hear.

I also want to take this opportunity to tell you how grateful I am for YOU!! Thank you for showing up, for reading these blogs, for embracing yourself and your desire for something different. Thank you for helping ME feel less alone - yes, it helps knowing you are out there. And if you’ve been or are a client or Masterclass participant - my deepest bow of gratitude to you. It means the world to me that I am able to do this work. So thank you thank you thank you!!

Xoxo


How to ride the resistance (or what you can learn when things don't flow)

I've been have asked about the retreat that was planned for this weekend and I realized that I hadn't yet publicly communicated the difficult decision my team and I recently made to put it on hold.

I even went to the venue last month and it was so incredible. I could visualize us there: the space was perfect, the beaches pristine, the sunsets stunning.

It was hard for me to let go of the plan. It was hard for me to accept that eventually I would have to write this update to you, going back on my word.

And yet, I was feeling HUGE resistance. It wasn’t flowing.

I wasn’t following up with those who were interested. Others who had expressed interest suddenly couldn’t attend for whatever reason. I wasn’t promoting the event as much as I needed to to fill the extra spots that had suddenly opened.

I needed to listen to the advice I was given by Lisa Nichols last month.

"A healthy no is as important a half-assed yes."

Or, as another coach friend of mine says, “If it’s not a HELL YES, then it’s a HELL NO.”

I have no doubt in my mind that this retreat in Canada will happen… now is not the right time.

I had to LEAN IN and understand what the resistance was about. Instead of beating myself up about it and forcing through, I learned from it.

As Danielle LaPorte writes:

“Resistance heightens your senses… But if you can embrace the resistance and use it to stay sharp, then you can bypass the swamp of self sabotage. Resistance = good. Self sabotage = bad, very bad.”

Instead of beating yourself for facing resistance, for things not working out exactly as you think they “should,” for procrastinating or feeling blocked or not flowing… ask yourself: “What is this really about?”

If it’s not flowing right NOW, it doesn’t mean it will NEVER. It might just mean not right now. Or, not like this.

By saying “not right now” to this month’s retreat, I was able to:

  • Focus on nurturing our Facebook community and prepping for Supercharge September… which also felt very aligned with my own need for self-care

  • Expanding and onboarding new members of the Drink Less Be More staff team

  • Redirect “retreat planning energy” towards co-creating a retreat planned for March 2017 in Mexico with a dear friend and colleague who lives in my hometown (more details coming very soon!)

  • Enjoy quality time with my Canadian family and friends before heading back to Mexico and spend more time with my daughter, who is in a challenging stage of her development

  • Better prepare and have more energy for attending a conference with 100 other empowered online entrepreneurs

  • Take days  off over the weekend and early this week when I needed to prioritize my health

Sometimes, success comes from taking the counter-intuitive step to DO LESS instead of more.

How can you simplify your way to success? What might your resistance be telling you?

What can you say no to in order to create more expansiveness?

xoxo

 


It's Not Too Late September Reset

If you had a hard time getting caught up after Labour day, don't worry, you're not the only one!

I get it - sometimes it's a little hard to shake summer (if it was indeed summer where you are) and fully embrace the new season.

You may have been focusing others, like getting the kids back to school, or catching up on work obligations.

Fear not! It's NEVER too late to start.

You can reset the rest of the year, starting NOW. That's right, do it today. There's great energy happening over the in the Facebook group. I recorded a video on the 3-step process we've talked about this week to help you powerfully reset and supercharge the next month (and beyond)!

This 15-minute video covers how to:
- Set clear and positive intentions that help identify your purpose for wanting to make a change
- Creating 3-5 actions specific to the intention to start shifting habits and creating new ones
- What you can add-in to ensure success and make this time of transition as enjoyable as possible.

Take the time to watch this short video and do the work. Bonus points for writing down the prompts and then scheduling the actions in your calendar because remember, if it's not written down and scheduled, it doesn't exist ;)

 

If you'd like to reply to this email and let me know what your intentions and actions are, or if you have any questions, I'd be happy to read and answer. If you'd like the added accountability of the secret Facebook group, let me know!

Cheers to a supercharged and transformative September :)

xoxo


Super Simple Strategies For Moderation

Hello,

How are you? I spend a lot of time talking about mindset and the internal work necessary to redefine your relationship to alcohol over the long term.

Yet sometimes, it's the simple strategies that really help in the moment or when planning an evening out. I've had a few clients have "aha" moments recently when we discussed simple strategies that they could use to cut back on alcohol.

Here are some of the tips that are often overlooked but are great ways to cut back.

Half it: It might seem obvious but pouring less alcohol and sipping it at the same pace you would if you were drinking a whole serving. Pouring half glasses can also help trick your mind into thinking that you are drinking more ie 3 half glasses vs 1.5 glasses. The main thing here is to make sure you are keeping track, and set an intention just as you would normally do. If you are in a situation where you may have alcohol poured for you, it's important to speak up about serving size.

Add water/ice: Adding sparkling water, plain water and/or lots of ice can help dilute alcohol. I remember when I lived in Cambodia and it was common there to put ice cubes in white wine or beer. At first I couldn't believe it, but then I came to like it. It was refreshing and certainly slowed down the rate I was consuming those drinks. In Mexico, even red wine is served chilled. Fruit juice, iced herbal teas, fruit, sparkling water, and/or ice can be added to make a light and healthier sangria type drink. The key is not to drink MORE of these (because they may go down easier!) and stick to your intended number of drink.

Alternate: But not just with water, which can feel boring and less enticing. Order a delicious mocktail or have flavoured sparkling water on hand. Make mocktails to bring to BBQs or parties. A friend of mine came over for dinner the other night and she brought both kombucha and white wine. The kombucha was so delicious and satisfying that I barely thought about the wine. Try drinking your alternative AT THE SAME time, and try new flavour pairings. Play with it!

If you haven't yet read Drink Less Be More, there are two whole chapters on strategies.

I'd love to hear which one is your favourite or if you have another that I haven't mentioned yet.

I hope you have a beautiful weekend,

xoxo


The most important ingredient for sober (or soberish) sex.

As promised last week, here’s a sexy blog post for you!!

While I really enjoyed my conversation with James Swanwick about sober dating and sex - I also felt that we didn’t really go deep - especially when we got to the sex part. (If you haven’t listened yet - you can catch it here).

For most women I know, it’s not so easy and “just do it!!” Especially when alcohol and intimacy have been so intertwined for many years, if not most of our lives.

So while James was waxing poetic about how much better you’ll look naked once you stop drinking, I was thinking to myself, “yeah, but it took me awhile to FEEL better naked.”

In my book, Drink Less Be More, I devote an entire chapter to sex and dating, when in reality - it could be an entire book because the topic is so nuanced.

Until very recently, alcohol and intimacy and sex were always inextricably linked, as were my relationships.

I’m a passionate lover, and I mean that in all senses.

I often fell quickly and deeply into the people I was dating.

During my 20s, was in three serious relationships… each in fairly quick succession to the other.  Engaged to one of them, and married to the third, and then on road to divorce, all before age 28.

Looking back, these relationships may have resembled more of collision spinning out of control on a crash course, but I didn’t see it that way at the time.

Not surprisingly, I met all of my partners at the bar (not at the same bar, but might as well have been). Also not a shocker, all loved to drink, and consumed the same or even more copious amounts of alcohol than what I did.

Edit - my first serious “adult” relationship was with someone who wasn’t a drinker. I did meet him at a bar but marijuana was his drug of choice. Remember Dido’s song “Stoned?” That could have been our anthem.

When you're stoned, baby, I am drunk

And we make love, it seems a little desolate

It's hard sometimes not to look away

And think what's the point when I'm having to hold this fire down

I think I'll explode if I can't feel this freely now

And that is very much how I felt. Alcohol brought me the release and freedom I craved. When I was drunk, I could turn off my brain, let my over-drive ambition take a back seat, and tell my self-loathing to shut up for awhile.

I felt free. I felt sexy. I felt lovable.

I was able to be possessed by another person in a way that was too damn scary if I was sober.

I needed to feel in control of everything.

Drinking allowed me to release my fear and gave permission to my desires.

The double edged sword is the fact that while a few drinks can lower inhibitions and help you along with a dose of liquid courage and passion… too many has the opposite effect. It starts to numb, you may start to disassociate and it’s harder to orgasm.

I realized the profound difference when my current partner and I had sex for the first time, sober. I had had sober sex with my exes but it was usually after and in-between a lot of drunk sex. (This was the first time I was having sex with someone for the first time without the aid of alcohol to “get me there.”)

I could go into all of the cliche descriptors of how it felt and how different it was - you’ve read them before and they all apply here. My senses were heightened, every subtle touch sent shivers through my whole body, my pleasure soared to new heights.

It was like how I always had thought it should be (thank you Hollywood) but never was.

You might be wondering - how did I get from sloppy sex to this kind of exquisite sensuality?

It wasn’t overnight.

It involved a lot of self-love and healing.

Remember, at my very core for many years was a feeling of unlovability and unworthiness.

If I still held those beliefs, it would have been difficult for me to be open and receive. To let my guard down and feel. To allow myself to be truly seen without the false bravado brought on by alcohol.

I had worked with healers who did energy work with the chakras, and I focused on the 1st and second, where I knew I needed healing. I had attended several retreats that focused on pleasure, and shared the teachings of Mama Gena’s School of the Womanly Arts. I had seen a somatic therapist, who helped me get out of my head and into my body (she also, consequently, was the first professional to gently questioned my relationship to alcohol and encouraged me to take a break for awhile.)

I made a decision, deep down, that I deserved more. I was ready for a different kind of intimacy, one that required both vulnerability and strength - and at it’s core - authenticity.

So when my clients and community ask me about dating, sex and intimacy (without or with much less alcohol), there’s often not an easy answer.

It takes time.

But first and foremost, it takes love. The kind you lavish on yourself and nurture from within, rather than desperately seeking from another.

Instead of focusing on where the meet the new person of your dreams, fall in love with yourself. Romance yourself, take yourself on dates, get to know yourself. Learn what pleasure feels like to you, allow yourself to dream and to fantasize. If you are ready this and thinking “huh??” than that’s a good indicator that there is a lot of exploring for you to do in this area of your life.

Do this first.

Your ability to attract an energetic match and someone who truly honours and see you, and whom you never feel you have to hide from, will increase.

If you have any questions about this topic, please do not hesitate to reach out.

I know it’s tricky terrain and I am honoured whenever I can provide support and insight on this topic.

Xoxo

Ps. I feel that I should be completely transparent. This journey is on-going for me too. After having a baby, experiencing big changes to my body, and some issues in my relationship, I feel as though I am having to re-learn intimacy again!! And it’s so tempting to hit that bottle of red wine to ease back into it. So trust me when I say - I GET IT! We’re in this together :)


One of the secrets to deeper intimacy and better sex.

As you know, I'm supposed to be off the grid on a camping trip.

Well, I still am (I have no cell reception at my campsite, it's the best) but I was too excited to leave this for another few days.

So I escaped into civilizations (aka a cute coffeeshop called Rhino in downtown Tofino) to send this email. Last week I had a super juicy conversation with James Swanwick, all about the benefits of dating without alcohol. And while you know I'm the Queen of Moderation, I do think there's a lot of be said for first dates without alcohol.

Why?

Well, your BS detector will be more tuned in, you'll be able to connect with your intuition and decide more quickly it he or she is a HELL YEAH (cause if it's a hell no, or even a "so so" ... do you really want things to go farther?)

You also can judge a lot about a person's character when you decide not to have a drink on a first date.

Do they pressure you to have one? Do they respect your choice?

While you may not be deciding to live completely alcohol-free, it's great to have someone in your life who is supportive of your health and wellness from the get-go.

And then there's sex... some might say that sober sex is the best sex (what do you think?). A couple of drinks can help lower inhibitions, but any more than that actually restricts blood flow to the exact parts of you body you want to be feeling more and well, you probably know what that means. I'm going to go deeper into this topic in an upcoming blog, but I wanted to give you a chance to listen to this podcast and weigh in.

Let me know your thoughts! I look forward to reading them and answering any questions you have in my next blog on this topic.

xoxo


Thriving Summer Holidays

Well, I did it!

After 8 days, 4 airplanes, 3 countries, four mini-roadtrips and two timezones - all with a TODDLER - Luna Azul and I have almost reached our final destination for the next few months. The trip through Northern Baja and Southern California was amazing and really surprisingly easy.

We didn't get sick, we didn't have any meltdowns (either one of us, haha), and I felt stress-free the entire journey. No small feat given there were mornings I was up at 5am to finish my work before Luna woke up as naps were happening at weird times sometimes and I couldn't count on them for work time, and I even attended an elite mastermind in LA (more on that soon).

So what helped make this trip flow? What allowed me to not only survive, but thrive, without a single "I need a drink" moment?

Here are some tips that can be applied to any vacation or trip, whether traveling with a child or not.

1) Set your intentions! If you know anything about me, you know I'm all about intentions. Well, I set the intention that this voyage was going to be SMOOTH and STRESS-FREE. And it was. Even through a day spent in the airport-limbo land due to delayed flights, even during an overland border crossing between Mexico and the USA, it flowed. Mindset is a powerful thing. If I had spent the weeks leading up to this trip thinking about how stressful it was going to be, you can bet it probably would have turned out stressful!

2) I brought my toolkit. Sleepy time teas, detox teas, green powders for smoothies, essential oils for grounding, sleeping and relaxation... I was prepared. Being able to do at least a portion of my morning and evening rituals helped keep me grounded AND feeling healthy while eating on the road. Also, having my teas and oils to help me unwind at the end of the day made me way less likely to crave a glass of wind to unwind.

3) Sleep! I tend to get quite overstimulated, especially when I'm traveling. I was visiting many friends along the way and part of me longed to stay up late chatting into the wee hours of the morning. Yes I knew that everything would feel a lot harder and be less enjoyable during the day time if I was under-slept. The oils and teas were particularly helpful in this department as well.

4) Embrace flexibility / pace yourself! I was able to "go with the flow" more easily using a flexible approach rather than a rigid one. I also resisted the urge to try to do too many things, as as such, was able to fully be present and enjoy each moment.

5) Be open to receive! Whether it was asking a stranger in the airport to help putting the stroller through the x-ray or a backpack in the overhead bin, or asking friends for childcare support so that I could get my hair done or do a client call - I opened myself to receiving support. And it came in more ways that I could have ever imagined! Free upgrades, fees waved, people going the extra mile (quite literally driving out of their way) etc. (ps, let me know if you'd like to hear more about the expansion work I've been doing to expand my capacity to receive).

6) Be honest. This is a bit easier for me given my blog, book and focus of my work ie all public declarations of my intentions and "Drink Less Be More" lifestyle. But I was talking about this with a client today and she mentioned how on her recent vacation, she decided to be honest about her intentions to cut back on alcohol. The people in her life were supportive of her desire and she found it so much easier to stick to her intentions after becoming more open. I had friends stock their fridges with kombucha, double check where I wanted to eat/drink to make sure it felt comfortable for me, and have plenty of healthy alternatives on hand.

7) Indulge with intention. I ate some delicious treats, drink chocolate and rose infused coffee, ate a homemade banana split, and sampled a glass of local wine one afternoon while in Baja, and two glasses of California sparkling wine during a special dinner out... and it felt good and the perfect amount. Everything was a treat, all was celebratory, and nothing was driven by stress or wanting to stuff or numb out. And of course, feeling good about my choices led to peace of mind, made it easier to sleep at ease, had me waking up feeling refreshed and energized, and ready for a new day (or city, state or country as was the case on this trip!)

What are your favourite tips for traveling? Do you set intentions before you leave? I've been working with quite a few on my clients on special agreements and intention-setting for vacations.. Let me know if you have any questions about this or any other the tips I've addressed above!

Now that I've arrived to Canada, I'm so excited to get back into a routine. If you've emailed me this past week and I haven't responded, fear not! My inbox situation will be addressed asap.

I am also so excited to get soak in all of the amazing beauty and fill up on delicious, homegrown food.

I had a few people email and mention that the pricing was unclear in my last email about the retreats. The price you see is the TOTAL price, INCLUDING accommodation and everything listed. The only thing not included is transportation to Powell River, BC. If you have any questions at all, please do not hesitate to email!

Cheers to the weekend, vacations and solid intentions :)

xoxo

 

 I've included a poem that my mom sent me. May it be inspiration to you - even if only to get out of town for the weekend, or plan a retreat on Savary Island this September ;)

For the Traveler

Every time you leave home,
Another road takes you
Into a world you were never in.

New strangers on other paths await.
New places that have never seen you
Will startle a little at your entry.
Old places that know you well
Will pretend nothing
Changed since your last visit.

When you travel, you find yourself
Alone in a different way,
More attentive now
To the self you bring along,
Your more subtle eye watching
You abroad; and how what meets you
Touches that part of the heart
That lies low at home:

How you unexpectedly attune
To the timbre in some voice,
Opening in conversation
You want to take in
To where your longing
Has pressed hard enough
Inward, on some unsaid dark,
To create a crystal of insight
You could not have known
You needed
To illuminate
Your way.

When you travel,
A new silence
Goes with you,
And if you listen,
You will hear
What your heart would
Love to say.

A journey can become a sacred thing:
Make sure, before you go,
To take the time
To bless your going forth,
To free your heart of ballast
So that the compass of your soul
Might direct you toward
The territories of spirit
Where you will discover
More of your hidden life,
And the urgencies
That deserve to claim you.

May you travel in an awakened way,
Gathered wisely into your inner ground;
That you may not waste the invitations
Which wait along the way to transform you.

May you travel safely, arrive refreshed,
And live your time away to its fullest;
Return home more enriched, and free
To balance the gift of days which call you.

~ John O'Donohue ~


Beat The Heat

The option of summer holiday day drinking often means that you might have more hours in the day in which your intentions could slide down a slippery, boozy slope into oblivion.

Whether you are celebrating Canada Day or Independence Day or the beginning of “Dry July” for our Australian counterparts (has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? I’m kind of surprised it hasn’t caught on here yet) the following tips can help you stick to your intentions.

It is so important to plan ahead and make sure that you are making decision using your evolved brain (focusing on the benefits of moderation and how wonderful you will feel the next day) and not your primal instant-gratification-seeking brain.

Know how many drinks you're going to drink and plan in advance.

You can even program them into your phone to help remind you of when it's time for your next drink. I know this might feel like overkill at times, but what's more of a buzzkill - having a little message pop up on your phone helping you to stay true to your intentions, or blacking out, not remembering the end of the day, and dealing with a killer hangover the next?

Check out my 5 Tips for Staying Cool During Hot Summer Celebrations (and please share this with your friends - there’s a cool graphic you can download and share easily)

And

Delicious Mocktails To Sip All Summer (With Health Benefits You Won't Believe) for great alternatives to alcohol - recipes included!!  I recommend having the ingredients for these on-hand so that you have something yummy to sip on in-between their alcoholic counterparts. The idea is to create something so satisfying you’ll forget you aren’t drinking alcohol.

I'd love to hear what your favourite tips are AND if you have a mocktail recipe you'd like me to feature, that would be amazing!!

Stay tuned for some really exciting announcements coming next week!! (think invitations to exotic locations in Canada and Mexico)

Have a wonderful weekend,

xoxo


Corporate Queen

Yesterday was the last class of the Drink Less Be More Masterclass (my new, signature group program - don't worry if you missed it, it will be offered again in September!)

We spent a good portion of the class talking about the idea of PERMISSION.

For many of us, we use alcohol to give ourselves permission.
Permission to relax, do nothing, be playful, indulge, forget out responsibilities for the evening, turn off our busy brains, enjoy, be naughty, prioritize pleasure... you fill in the blank.

I used to feel guilty taking time off, reading trashy magazines just because, watching something that wasn't educational or focused on self-development, eat carbs or fat (this was before I learned that neither of these things are evil). I used to push myself so hard that I needed to literally black out or lose myself to alcohol to turn off or unwind, or I'd go home to visit my family and fall over sick and burnt out.

A large part of learning to redefine your relationship to alcohol and Drink Less in the long-term is learning how to give yourself permission to __________ (again, you fill in the blank) WITHOUT alcohol!

This is such an important topic and one that I was so grateful to have the opportunity to discuss with Meg Sullivan, of Whole Foods Love. The interview is part of an online summit called Slim and Chic Corporate Queen - and the themes we covered are so relevant to everyone who is a part of this community (whether you are in corporate or not)!

We also talked about:
- How prevalent is it that women drink to wind down
- Making the mental shift to take care of ourselves
- The physiological side of alcohol and the effects that it has on the body
- Strategies for accountability with this sensitive subject

The interview airs this Sunday, June 5th! Make sure to sign up here to be able to listen. You will also have access to 25+ other experts as part of this virtual summit who sharing their wisdom and experience to support women like you to reach their health and wellness goals.

Discover tips, tricks and strategies that will show you how to:

  • Drop those extra 20 lbs you’ve been wanting to lose for as long as you can remember.

  • Survive the unpredictable ups and downs of corporate life and still stay happily on track with your life and health goals.

  • Improve the quality of your sleep so you wake feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day each morning.

  • Make the best food choice possible, whatever situation you find yourself in.

  • Carve much needed time out of your schedule for your own self-care.

  • Create space in your life for things you love doing “just because”.

It is so important for me to see women THRIVE in ALL aspects of their lives, not only by redefining their relationship to alcohol. That is why I am so honoured to have been included in this summit and that I have these tickets to share with you so that you can holistically make changes to your lifestyle while also continuing to get a handle on the alcohol.

Make sure to sign up asap so that you don't miss this weekend's interview. I also want to know - what is one way (in addition to signing up for this summit and listening to the value-packed interviews) that you can give yourself permission (without needing alcohol to do so) this weekend? Make sure to reply to this email and let me know. Why? Because I really do want to know! AND writing it out is a good first step for making it a reality!

xoxo


98% alcohol free in NYC - wanna know how?

I’ve kept you waiting with bated breath, I know!

I only just arrived home from NYC and then Mexico on Tuesday. It was a whirlwind adventure and an incredible experience - and now that I’m home I’m now able to process the whole experience.

I was very excited to share this update with you.

As you might recall, I asked for your support to help me be accountable while in NYC.

Since transparency is my gig, I might as well get the confession out to the way first.

I DID drink some alcohol, even though my intention was zero alcohol for the entire trip.

That being said, I am 100% proud of my actions and the decisions I made, and here’s why:

I faced many of my trigger situations, and in those situations - I did stick to my intentions.

I was at countless events where there were endless amounts of free booze, and I didn’t take a sip.

I was in high stakes/ high-pressure situations, and I didn’t rely on alcohol to ease my nerves or break the ice.

I felt lonely and isolated at times and didn’t use alcohol to open the door for permission for connection.

With so much practice with moderation over the past few years, I probably could have handled a drink at any one of these events, and not gone overboard.

However, I am grateful for my choice not to because it completely alleviated the mental chatter.

I was also very aware of the fact that combined with the adrenaline I was experiencing and my overall lower tolerance, that one glass may have affected me more than usual, bringing me closer to crossing the line to that point of no return.

So what worked for me?

Here are the strategies I used that will also be helpful to you in any similar situation.

  1. Radical self-care: You may be wondering what this has to do with drinking, and I say EVERYTHING. I took care of myself and my health more than I ever have on a business trip. I made sure that I was sticking to my morning routine and was getting enough sleep. I gave myself down-time and breaks to make sure that I had time to re-center myself and stay grounded. As such, I was waaaayy stronger and more able to be in touch with my inner guidance and intentions.

  2. I said “no” to opportunities: This wasn’t easy for me. I’m a “yes” woman. I want to do ALL the things, ALL of the time. Especially when I’m somewhere like NYC - I mean, c’mon! Yet I learned that if I was selective with my time and energy and who/what I said yes to, I was honouring my body and again, more able to stay connected to my intentions.

  3. I declared my intentions: I KNEW that NYC was Trigger City for me with a capital T. So I made a bold statement and declared it publicly. Of course I’m not saying that you need to declare your intentions as publicly as I did, but you do need to find an accountability system that works for you, preferably that externalizes accountability so that the entire responsibility isn’t solely on you.

  4. I made friends with bartenders: Might sound funny at first, but bartenders can be your best friends in your quest to Drink Less or not at all. It’s a lot more fun to turn down alcohol when you have a delicious alternative.  My favourite line “What can you make me with mineral water that’s exciting and doesn’t have alcohol?” I had some yummy fizzy lemonades and virgin mojitos made for me this way. Remember, even in an open bar situation, it’s really nice to tip a bartender generously for their efforts (I used to be a bartender, so I know it’s appreciated). You want to keep these people happily on your side. I even ended up selling my book to one bartender after we chatted about what I do!

  5. I made sure I was fed: I kept energy bars in my purse to keep my energy up. Drops in blood sugar and low energy can lead to alcohol cravings, and I wanted to set myself up for success.

  6. I used aromatherapy: Did you know that using essential oils can help with your mental state? I used rosemary for improve focus and alertness during my events. I used floral and sensual blends (cacao, rose,ylang ylang, orange, sandalwood) to get me feeling grounded and sexy before heading out in the evenings.  I used calming blends in the evenings when I needed to unwind.

  7. I came prepared: I brought my own teas (for both my morning and evening routines), carefully packed my essential oils, was prepared with snack and most importantly, did the mental and spiritual prep beforehand to make this as easy on myself as possible!

So you see, so much of this isn’t exactly simply about the strategies around how to Drink Less. It’s about creating new habits and lifestyle shifts to set yourself up for success. (And this is actually why I started calling myself a lifestyle coach and not simply a health coach, because so much of what I coach my clients on is lifestyle-related)

Now, you’re probably curious about the times I did drink, why, and how I feel about it.

The first bit of alcohol I had was at a late dinner after the first conference I attended. The reception had ended at around 8:30pm, and some of my colleagues from an online course I had taken were heading out for dinner.

Instead of going directly there with them, I went back to my friend’s house first to get changed and take a bit of a break. I was able to have a snack, decompress a bit, and recenter myself.

When they texted me the name of the restaurant, I was proud of myself for doing this (remember, this whole “take a break and take care of myself” thing is new to me)

They were at a wine bar, and a few bottles into their evening by the time I arrived. I ordered a water because I was actually quite thirsty and turned down the extra wine glass that was procured when I sat down. I kept pounding water and focused on ordering food - which took my own focus away from the wine menu and onto something else delicious.

With food in my belly and interesting conversation happening all around me, I wasn’t so distracted by all of the alcohol around me.

Then one of the members of our party started sampling dessert wines. He was apparently quite an aficionado and the French owner of the bar came over to “wow” him with his selection. He eventually procured a bottle of 1967 wine that, according to the sommelier, is something you would never be able to drink by the glass. He was willing to open the bottle though, and the small glass of dessert wine that was served cost a whopping $65.

He must have seen my eyes bulging and offered me a sip to try.

So yes, I tried it. I don’t think I’ve ever had the opportunity to try a wine such as this - and it was an incredible experience. The flavours keeps shifting around to different parts of my palate, and lingered long after I swallowed.

It was a moment like this one that confirmed the reasons why I had wanted to make moderation work for me instead of swearing off alcohol forever. That night, I had a sensory/culinary experience that was new for me, and that was that. It didn’t switch on a desire to immediately order my own glass of wine. I didn’t feel like I needed to order a drink at the club we danced at afterwards. I didn’t fall off track or have a harder time abstaining during the subsequent events with open bars during the rest of the week.

The second drink of alcohol I had was on my last night in NYC.

I had successfully navigated countless trigger situations during my 8 days and nights in the Big City.

I was proud of myself.

I had created new experiences for myself, had treated my body with the utmost care and had experiencedmaximum energy and focus the entire week.

I met up with a long-time friend who had seen me through some of the worst of relationship to alcohol and knew the extent of my journey and the focus of my work. He was what I would consider a very “safe” person. He also is someone who never gets drunk. We went to a great little bar in East Harlem and sat on that bar stool. I ordered some food and a glass of water. He ordered a beer. Awhile later we started a discussion with the bartender who infused different spirits with ingredients such as rosemary, sage, ginger and lavender. I decided to order a drink that was some interesting combination of mineral water, ginger syrup and sage-infused gin, something I would have never thought to try before. I enjoyed it, and felt relaxed knowing the decision to have another was simply a non-issue internally - I knew I wouldn’t.

I went home shortly after as I had an early start the next day to head to a conference, then a workshop, and then to the airport for my red-eye flight home to Mexico.

I didn’t feel buzzed or affected by the alcohol. I drank my sleepy time tea and did my regular bedtime routine, though it took me a little to unwind after the fullness of the week, and the Caribbean beats that were still pulsing from the bar we had been sitting at.

When I awoke in the morning -  I felt mildly hungover. There was a throbbing in my frontal lobe, and my brain felt slower to wake up. I was acutely aware of these sensations because it felt so different to every other morning I had woken up in New York during that week. I had had a similar amount of sleep the night before, and the other difference was the drink.

I realized how sensitive I am now to the sensations in my body. I felt like I NEEDED a coffee first thing, whereas on other mornings and sometimes entire days I hadn’t thought about caffeine. I still followed my morning routine - making myself a water and lemon, green tea, ate a banana, and then grabbed a cold pressed green juice before having a coffee, and with that combination I felt a lot better.

Again, I felt no desire to drink more. In fact, I can’t imagine having another cocktail in quite awhile. I’m enjoying how awesome my body feels way too much to want to mess with it anymore.

So that’s my story. It’s mine, yours might have been different if you were in the same situations as me. That’s the beauty and intricacy of this bio-individual approach to alcohol moderation.

I hope you find the tips helpful. I would love to hear which one you know will serve you if you start implementing it ASAP.