How to be accountable

Gretchen Rubin, self-professed happiness expert and author of many books on the topic of happiness, describes habits as the invisible architecture of everyday life, and a significant element of happiness. In her book, Better than Before, she describes the strategies we can exploit to change our habits, including… you guessed it!

Accountability!!

Gretchen also explains that not everyone will respond to the same kind of accountability, because some people are more responsive to private accountability, and some of us respond better to public accountability.

I am definitely a public accountability kind of gal - an example of this is declaring certain intentions on Facebook or in certain group forums for school. However, I appreciate a mix of public and private because there are certain details I prefer to keep to myself or between a small, select group. You will find the combination of accountability strategies that works before for you - the key, as always, is to put them in place and take action on them.

Find your Sip Sister

Long before I even knew what a health coach was, let alone began studying to be one, I found a friend who became my accountability buddy in redefining my relationship to alcohol. We created a shared google document, and used it to write our intentions, be honest about our challenges, and seek support from one another. We called each other “sip sisters.” Our goal was to learn how to drink in moderation, try out periods of sobriety, and mostly to have a great time without going overboard. Learning how to “sip” seemed like a good metaphor for drinking in moderation, it denotes the ability to slowly savour and enjoy rather than suck back drinks like there’s no tomorrow.

Here are some of the qualities you will want to look for in a Sip Sister:

Non-judgemental - Look for someone who has the ability to be empathetic, understanding and caring. This one might seem like a no-brainer, but what does non-judgemental mean to you? For example, if you have different goals, one person simply wanting to drink less, and the other trying to be sober, it might difficult to understand the other person’s choices.

Shared experiences and goals - It will help your Sip Sister to be non-judgemental if you have similar experiences and goals in mind. Finding someone who also wants to explore the “Drink Less Party More” philosophy is a good starting place.

Firm but loving - Sip Sisters are honest and direct in their feedback and observations, and loving in their delivery. You know that you can count on them to “tell it like it is” while doing their best to show you that you are loved and supported no matter what.

Responsible and resourceful - Your Sip Sister should be good at keeping commitments, showing up for scheduled check ins, sending you texts / reminders when you need it etc. It is also a great help if your accountability buddy helps you find new solutions if you find yourself slipping or repeating the same patterns.

Other accountability strategies:

Talk is cheap - take action

Create specific blocks of time where you are going to put your intentions into action. Set aside 10 minutes a day to practice your gratitudes, brags and desires. Get clear on your intentions by scheduling 30 minutes at the beginning of each week to journal. Remember, as my business mentor Marie Forleo always says, “If it’s not scheduled, it doesn’t exist” - so make sure to actually put these time slots into your calendar.

Set Reminders

Technology can be your best friend at times. I absolutely love setting reminders in my phone that give me a boost during the day or night. If I feel like I’m heading into a situation that might be particularly challenging, I set a reminder for myself with words of encouragement.

Alternatively, if you’d prefer to take a techno-break, consider a good luck charm or amulet. It can be in the form of a bracelet, ring or another accessory that you can easily see. Write down your intentions in your journal, and state clearly what the charm will remind you of. Then, every time you see the charm, you will be reminded of your intentions for yourself.

Give yourself a reward

How will you feel after a month of sticking to your intentions? Pretty great, right? And think about all that money you will have saved from spending less money on drinks every week.

Consider setting a monthly or even weekly reward for yourself as an incentive to stick with your intentions. How about a massage, spa date, concert, or weekend getaway? After a month of sticking to your intentions, you deserve it!

Start a Sip Sister Play Group

I read somewhere that you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. Understandibly, not all of your friends might be on board with you new intentions for drinking. However, there may be more people than you think in your life who are willing to give it a try.

This group could be online (Facebook groups are great for this, and you can set the private to “secret” if you want to keep in confidential), or in person. I have a dream that someday soon there can be Sip Sister meet-ups in every city!

Host a Drink Less Party More meetup

If you are a public accountability kinda gal, be bold! Make your intentions public by announcing your desire to drink less while still having as much fun as possible, and getting the most out of life! Set up an event, be clear about your intentions in the event invite, and as others to join in.

If you’d like an advance copy of #Drinklesspartymore: How to have a great night (and life!) without getting wasted, make sure to sign up to my mailing list and send me a message saying "yes please!" and I’ll make sure you get one! Free!

Which one of these strategies will you use to stick to your intentions? Have I missed one of your favourite accountability strategies? If so, let me know in the comments.

Can't wait to hear from you,

xoxo


5 Tips for Staying Cool during Hot Summer Celebrations

Some of you will have (maybe) celebrated Canada day on July 1, others will be celebrating July 4th this weekend, and well, for everyone else not in Canada or the US, why not celebrate the beginning of July just for the heck of it??

I keep getting reports of how dang HOT it is in so many parts of North America, hotter even than where I am in Mexico!! So I thought it timely to post my top tips for staying hydrated while having the most fun ever. This will be short and sweet aka less reading, more playing.

Here are my 5 top tips for staying cool amidst the steamy celebrations.

  1. Hydrate with H2O: This is one thing you do want to overindulge on! Try infusing water with mint, basil, slices of cucumber, strawberries, rose petals, lemon or lime, and of course, plenty of ice to keep it cool (warm water with slightly fermenting floaties = not cool)

  2. BYONAB: A slightly longer acronym but oh so important!! Bring your own non-alcoholic beverage, and make it delicious!! N/a mojitos and spritzers are my favourite.

  3. Two to one: If you are choosing to drink alcohol, drink two non-alcoholic beverages in between each alcoholic one. This is where your infused waters, spritzers and mojitos come in handy. Plus, if you are switching it up but don’t want anyone to know you are drinking less, how are they going to tell the difference if it’s the same pretty drink in your hand, minus the booze?

  4. Sip it: When it’s hot out, it can be tempting to chug down a refreshing beverage, forgetting that it’s full of alcohol. If you are drinking alcohol, sip it slowly or make sure it has extra ice so you aren’t tempted to down it quickly.

  5. Eat something: Summer picnics and BBQs are full of food, but sometimes the heat can kill your appetite. Don’t forget to snack through the afternoon and evening to slow the absorption of alcohol. Proteins and healthy fats take longer to digest and therefore will stay in your stomach longer.

That’s all for now, my beauty!! Please share these tips with your friends … so we can all enjoy savvy, sassy (not sloppy) summer good-times.

xoxo,


Why Bingeing Is Bad For Your Body and Brain

Does this story sound familiar? Maybe it’s you - maybe someone you know...

For the most part, you take it easy with the alcohol. A drink or two with dinner, possibly a nightcap after a long day, but nothing excessive (because you don’t want drinking to interfere with your busy work life or productivity, right?) That is, until the opportunity arises. You time it perfectly - usually on a weekend - no immediate work responsibilities the next day. You’ve been saving up for this all week- and when you let go, you go hard.

Work hard, play hard - right? After all, you deserve it.

Then the next day, you’ll drink a green juice, hit the gym, sweat it out and be back to normal. Maybe.

Maybe not.

New research shows this type of drinking (aka bingeing) is bad for your brain, and it might not be for the reasons you think.

Yes, there are the immediate consequences that we’re all aware of: the pounding head, the fogginess, the underlying nausea. Those are symptoms that can be treated fairly quickly, leading us to feel like we’re back to “normal” quicker than we actually are.

However, as research on binge drinking has begun to show, all is not so.

But first, what exactly constitutes binge drinking? I know I certainly never applied the term to myself - though in retrospect I definitely fit within the definition.

The National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism defines binge drinking as a pattern of drinking that brings a person’s blood alcohol concentration (BAC) to 0.08 grams percent or above. This typically happens when men consume 5 or more drinks, and when women consume 4 or more drinks, in about 2 hours. (A drink would be a small glass of wine or beer, or a cocktail with 1 oz of alcohol.)

As you can see, it’s quite easy to ingest that amount of alcohol, or more, during a big night out. What’s more, is that if you are anything like me, it didn’t stop at one night.

There would be brunch the next day, then maybe a happy hour, drinks with dinner, and another night out, followed by another brunch on Sunday… In short, a lot of alcohol over a short span of time.

I used to think that by Monday I could be back to normal again, but research shows I was mistaken. Now, I’m not usually one for scare tactics - but the more I started researching this, the more I felt like I needed to share.

Dr. Jonathan Chick, of the alcohol problems service at the Royal Edinburgh hospital and the chief editor of Alcohol and Alcoholism, says his research shows that “humans who have a few heavy drinking sessions in a row may sometimes undergo subtle brain changes which make it harder to learn from mistakes and to learn new ways of tackling problems because their brain function has been subtly impaired."

Another interesting study, conducted by two identical twin brothers Chris and Alexander van Tullekens who also happen to be doctors, was the focus of a recent BBC Horizon special.

Alexander drank 3 units of alcohol daily, whereas Chris consumed the weekly amount of alcohol in a span of 24 hours, four times (weekends) in a month. The aim was to see how the same quantity of alcohol affected the body, given the difference in the way it was consumed.

Chris reports feeling his experiment would be easier. He thought he would deal with a day or two of hangover, and then feel great the rest of the week. The results, however, showed otherwise, “My levels of cytokines and interleukins, those key markers of inflammation, were raised. I'd expected them to be sky high after the first binge - but six days later, just before I was about to start the second binge, they hadn't gone down at all, and at the end of four weeks they'd soared.”

Well, there goes the idea that a week off in between a big binge is enough to clear the system. He continues, “I felt good but my body was still damaged from the binge. Inflammation is linked to a vast array of diseases from cancer and severe infection to heart disease and dementia. This was not a good result.”

How exactly does that happen? Well, when inflammation is triggered and refuses to turn on, the body starts thinking it is under attack, and floods your system with white blood cells. Your immune system becomes drained, and then the body has a hard time warding off other illnesses. This means that even a common cold virus or bacterial infection can cause a greater risk.

I used to wonder why I’d become rundown and why it always seemed like I was always fighting a cold … this definitely explains why. Yet as a young, resilient and generally quite healthy person, I used to feel quite invincible. So what if I’d get colds more often than others? It’s wasn’t going to kill me. But now, I realize the reality of my drinking habits and how they could be contributing to much more serious consequences such as cancer and brain damage is a much more, dare I say it, sobering thought.

In a NIAA publication on alcohol and Alzheimer disease, Dr. Suzanne Tyas writes that while there is still more research needed on whether alcohol use can be a predictor for Alzheimer’s, it is proven that some of the detrimental effects of heavy alcohol use on brain function are similar to those observed in Alzheimer’s disease. Heavy drinking accelerates shrinkage, or atrophy of the brain, which causes neurodegenerative changes … in other words, brain damage. Ugh.

Dr. Fulton T. Crews, professor in the Department of Pharmacology and Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill adds, “there are a growing list of studies that suggest that even short term binge drinking can have long term effects.”

But before you spiral into a doom and gloom reasoning like “Well, if I’ve already damaged my brain then what’s the point ... I may as well continue boozin and at least have fun” - let me stop you right there. That kind of fatalism will get you nothing more than a foggier brain with less functional brain cells, and a body rife with inflammation.

See, regardless of your past, there is hope! The good news is that, unlike Alzheimer’s and terminal cancer, you can turn this around. Studies show that the atrophy of brain cells decreases after abstinence from alcohol, and what we know from many cancer survivors is that adopting an “anti-inflammatory lifestyle” can reduce or halt the progression of inflammation-induced ailments. Does it mean you have to give up alcohol forever? No. Does it mean making some lifestyle changes? Yes, of course. But trust me, your brain and body will thank you for it.

Tips for cutting back:

  1. Take a break: Try a period of abstinence. My friend Jina Schaefer, who leads regular 40 day alcohol free challenges on Facebook, recommends giving yourself a little over a month to press reset and really look at your relationship to alcohol.

  2. Stick to the recommended daily amount. As someone who is a bit “authority adverse,” (okay, a lot) this is a tough one for me. “What do “they” know? My tolerance is great!” Sound familiar? Well, just because I could hold my alcohol didn’t mean it wasn’t harming my body and brain. The government guidelines are there for a reason. The reason isn’t a Big Brotherish buzzkill, it’s because drinking more than the recommended amount has been shown to have serious health risks. So ladies, that means no more than 4 standard sized drinks in the span of 4 hours.

  3. Pace yourself (bye bye bingeing): Alternate one alcoholic drink with two non-alcoholic drinks. Experiment with different drinking behaviours. If you feel like you want to treat yourself to one or two drinks during the week so that you aren’t saving up for the big blowout on the weekend, try that. As Dr. Dr Michael Wilks says, "Saving up your weekly units so you can drink them all on a Friday night is not the way to interpret the government's advice."

  4. Be anti-inflammatory: This is a biggie, and involves more than just cutting back on alcohol. The “work hard play hard” lifestyle often puts stress on our system in a myriad of ways, and we now know that stress is inflammatory as well. Strive to achieve a bit more balance, get 30 minutes more sleep a night, enjoy restful, relaxing and rejuvenating activities like yoga, meditation, swimming, walking in nature, and eat a plant-based and nutrient dense diet. If you do have a big night out, reconsider reaching for a burger the next day and try a green juice, root veggies or salad instead (all anti-inflammatory). Most importantly - don’t beat yourself up!! If anything, pamper yourself more.

  5. Take 5 (or 10) Find ways to take mini-breaks, or as my friend Katie Corcoran calls them, “hustle breaks” (if you missed our conversation last week, click here). Break the binge behaviour by allowing yourself pleasure play dates throughout your days and weeks, so that you don’t feel the need to go “all out” on the weekends. Surround yourself with beauty, have fresh flowers at your day and remind yourself to smell them, keep floral aromatherapy scents on hand to get you out of your head and into the moment, take dance or spin classes … do anything that gives you the opportunity to get out of your head and into your body.

One final thought. For those of us women who push ourselves hard, too hard sometimes, alcohol becomes the permission slip… the hall pass that allows us to check out for awhile. For me and I’m sure this is the same for a lot of us,I drank to excess to escape from my overwhelmed brain, then I’d spend my only day off curled up in fetal position … this was the only way I knew how to give myself permission.

And now, my downtime is vital to my ability to recharge. My body and brain are better for it, and I can guarantee that yours will be too.

Have a friend who could use this info? Please pass it along!

I’d love to hear your biggest takeaways in the comments! How does bingeing show up in your life and how can you bring in more balance instead?

xoxo


Six One-Liners that Work

I get asked a lot about one-liners.

No, not those one-liners.

I’ve never been one of those master pick-up artists who knows exactly what to say to hook that mysterious stranger from across the bar.

I’m talking about the one-liners that you can use to detract invasive and at times belligerent  questions about why you aren’t drinking.

When I first stopped drinking and decided to venture back into my social scene sans-alcohol, it was intimidating. I stumbled over my words. I felt like I needed to justify my actions. I over-explained myself at times. Basically, I opened the door for a dialogue I didn’t necessarily feel like having in the middle of a noisy bar or party.

What I also found was that the people who were drinking would very quickly make the issue about themselves.They’d take it personally that I didn’t want to drink with/like them. Seeing someone choose differently is sometimes like having a mirror held up, and I’ve found that most people aren’t ready to look at what they see.

Over the years though, I’ve learned several strategies that have really worked for me in situations like this (and these are the ones that I share with my clients, as well).

But before we dive into the one-liners, it’s important to remind yourself that it is no one’s business if you’re drinking alcohol or not, and more importantly, it’s no one’s business why you aren’t drinking alcohol. Period. You do not owe anyone an explanation, so release yourself from feeling like you do, right now.

The thing is, if someone offers you a drink or asks why you aren’t drinking, and your response is, “I don’t drink,” the follow up question will almost always be, “Why?” That’s why it is good to have a few of these one-liners ready for delivery.

Second, drunk people or people who may have an issue/problem with alcohol will often try to make whatever you are saying about them - so choose your words carefully. Make it about you, not them. Even if they start personalizing whatever you’re saying, you can go so far as to say, “This really isn’t about you, enjoy your drink! There’s no judgement over here.”

Before we dive in, I must say that I’m not a huge fan of lying. There’s a lot of advice out there on how to avoid prying questions about your non-drinking, and many advocate lying. Sure, there’s a time and a place, like maybe when talking to an intrusively creepy stranger (“I’m pregnant!” often works like a charm in this scenario). There’s also a lot of excuses you can use, such as “I’m driving!” or “I have an important meeting tomorrow” or “I’m allergic” or “I’m on antibiotics” … but I find these set you up for some internalized shame. Because by not being at least somewhat honest, you are telling yourself there is something to be ashamed about. You should never feel ashamed about your decision not to drink alcohol.

I’m a bit advocate of being as aligned as possible with your truth.

So whatever your reasons are for not drinking or wanting to drink less, give yourself some credit and an energetic boost that affirms the path you are on.

Okay, so what are some of my favourite one-liners? Drumroll please - here they are (in order of most vague to more specific):

  1. I’m just taking a break for a while.
    Why it works: You are clearly making this statement about yourself. You aren’t making absolute statements, you aren’t saying alcohol is bad (which often triggers people) and you aren’t saying this is forever. You don’t need to go into details, but if pressed for more, you can respond with the following one-liner.

  2. It started affecting me differently, so I decided to cut it out for a while.
    Why it works: Again, you are making a statement that no one can argue with. You aren’t saying that alcohol is good or bad, only that you started feeling it differently, and are making different choices.

  3. For health reasons.
    Why it works: It’s vague, and again, difficult for someone to challenge your personal quest for better health. They may retort that, “Wine is good for you,” or “There’s nothing wrong with one drink” at which point you could follow up with the next one-liner.

  4. I’m doing a cleanse. (or insert other health-related initiative)
    Why it works: With so many different kinds of cleanses and “detox” programs out there - most people are familiar with the concept of cutting out certain foods or substances for a while. And it’s the truth! If you are pressed with further questions or feel like elaborating, you can talk about all of the health-related reasons you are giving your body a break from alcohol.

  5. I’m doing my own personal social experiment, I want learn what it feels like to be in XX situation without alcohol.
    Why it works: This sometimes confuses drunk people, because they start thinking about what it might be like looking in from the more sober side of things. This is where you make your escape. Okay, but seriously, I’ve actually had good results with this one - again, it’s a personal statement grounded in curiosity and investigation.

  6. I’m in the process of getting to know myself better, so I decided to cut out alcohol for a while.
    Why it works: Similarly to number 5, this is a “pause and think about it” kind of answer.
    If the asker challenges you with something along the lines of, “And you really think you need to stop drinking to do that?” Your answer can be a simple, “Yes, I’ll let you know what I find out.”

Of course, there are a million other ways to turn down a drink, and quite often a simple, “I’m good for now, thanks!” delivered with a smile will suffice.

But being able to share the whole truth, if you feel comfortable, is always fantastic.

The more we can support each other to open up about the reasons why we’re deciding to drink less alcohol (or none at all!), the more we are creating awareness that there are alternatives to alcohol-fuelled fun.

If you’d like more strategies on how to drink less, and what to drink instead of alcohol, make sure to download my guide “How to have a great night without getting wasted” from my website.

And always, if you feel in need of extra support, feel free to set up a time to talk.

xoxo,

Additional sources:

http://summertomato.com/8-tips-for-drinking-less-without- your-friends-knowing/

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a7212/things-not-to-say-to-a-non-drinker/

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a6969/partying-in-late-twenties/

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a27290/best-things-about-not-drinking/

http://www.succeedsocially.com/avoiddrinking


8 Ways to Celebrate Summer Alcohol Free

I’m not sure about you, but the arrival of BBQ season, patio parties and later sunsets leading to steamy nights  can be a mixed blessing.

As a self-professed lover of summer, I’d often get a little too excited to let down my hair and kick off my shoes, and by excited I mean summer was full of opportunities to celebrate with too much booze.

That pitcher of mojitos or sangria at 5 pm seemed like a great idea, and so did the second, until the next thing I knew, I was waking up the next day with no memory of the party I’d ended up at.

Insert a similar outcome to barbeques, days at the beach, festivals and outdoor shows, the list goes on and on…

Not too mention, getting super dehydrated - (we all know by now that alcohol is a diuretic, right people!?! and no, the ice in the drinks isn’t enough water to counteract the copious amounts of alcohol). This of course led to waking up feeling like absolute s**t until the obvious solution presented itself … brunch, heavy on the cocktails please!

Problem was, my summers started passing in a blur and pretty soon the season ended, the weather shifted and I was left feeling worse for wear: my body felt crappy, my mind fuzzy and my bank account was in a sorry state.

I decided that I was finally going to leave the blackouts and hangovers behind.

But creating new patterns and a healthy relationship to alcohol, to my body, and to life was not easy or fast.

I needed to find new ways to celebrate booze-free, and feel like I was still getting the maximum out of the summer season I cherish so much.

That’s why these tips are extra important. Share and support one another to find fun and meaningful ways to celebrate summer, sans alcohol.

These are a few of my favourite tips, I’m looking forward to hearing yours ...

  1. Make it bubbly. I don’t know about you, but having something bubbly in a fancy glass (or even in a plastic cup) feels way more celebratory than ermmm water. Try scented or naturally flavoured mineral waters and infusions, make virgin mimosas or any variation of juice + bubbly water, or spritzers (fruit + bubbly water + juice). Or try kombucha. I totally dig the bubbles and buzz.

    Non-alcoholic spritzers or mojitos are the perfect drink to bring to a patio party or barbeque. With lots of mint (or other herbs) and fruit, they are really refreshing and delicious. People will be peeking at your glass and asking for some in no time flat. The great thing is that others can add alcohol if they wish.

  2. Enrol your friends for support. Let them know how important it is for you to focus on your health and wellness this summer. (I find that putting the focus on health shifts any discussion and/or judgement as to whether alcohol was a problem for you.) If you are going to a dinner or house party, ask the host if you can contribute a delicious n/a alternative.

  3. Enrol the bartender. Most mixologists or drink alchemists or whatever bartenders are calling themselves these days will be pleased to get creative to make you something tasty. My standard is this, “What’s the most delicious drink that you can make me, that’s not too sweet and doesn’t include alcohol?” I’ve been able to try some amazing creations this way, and usually for a fraction of the cost of an alcoholic cocktail.

  4. Dance! In your bedroom, in the kitchen, wherever you may be. Getting groovy with great music is a wonderful way to celebrate summer, and it will get your comfortable for dancing sober when the opportunity strikes.

  5. Treat yourself to a massage, facial, mani/pedi, new haircut or whatever will help you feel spoiled, celebrated and sassy for summer.

  6. Buy a new outfit or accessory. I don’t usually advocate retail therapy, however, when you are getting used to the different experience of celebrating without alcohol, it’s important that you feel as ravishing as possible. If buying something new and pretty for summer helps with this, then go for it! (ps, think of all the money you are saving by not drinking alcohol. You deserve a treat!)

  7. Indulge your senses. Try a new restaurant or sumptuous new culinary experience (and of course don’t forget to ask for that custom made n/a cocktail), or treat yourself to a delicious dessert. I’m a big big fan of cold treats as a substitute for alcohol … try gelatos, frozen yogurt, or making your own “nana-cream” (google image search nana-cream if you don’t know what it is) which is an easy and healthy way to make non-dairy ice cream.

  8. Go on an adventure. Summer is the perfect time to get out of your regular routine, explore a new neighbourhood, consult your local “what’s happening” guide for events that you might not normally go to, be a tourist in your own town. The key is to have as much fun as possible, of course! Invite your friends, family or whoever you want to celebrate, get outside and go play!!

Cheers to your summer celebrations!! Can’t wait to hear what you get up to!!

Have other favourite tips to celebrate without alcohol - let us know in the comments!

xoxo,


Alternatives to Coffee and Wine - how to switch it up

Do you ever have the feeling that you can’t get it all done in a day and need that extra boost of energy, but then need some help slowing back down and unwinding at the end of the day?

While the following information can be useful for anyone whose life is just a little too busy; it’s ESPECIALLY important for the new mamas.

Why for moms? Simple. If we’re breastfeeding and providing nourishment to our babies, then we need to take extra care of our bodies. And in those next couple of years of toddlerlandia, we need all the natural energy we can get (and ways to unwind that aren’t alcohol).

“She asked me how I got it all done… coffee and wine sweetheart, coffee and wine.”

I had never really noticed these posts before becoming a mom, and of course now I see them everywhere!

From comments and posts on friends’ Facebook walls, to memes like the one above, it seems like the modern day prescription for mamas is to caffeinate the days and then to use wine to unwind at night.

If that’s your strategy and it’s totally working for you, i.e. you feel great morning, noon and night, and you truly believe you are giving your body the nourishment it needs, then carry on my friend.

But if you wake up sluggish with a dull ache (or pounding) between your temples, feel that “need” for a cup of coffee (or three) to get going, and start wondering if mid-afternoon (or earlier!) is too early to pour a glass of “mommy juice” then this blog might be for you!

Let me first preface by saying - I GET IT!!

I quit coffee during my pregnancy and abstained during my first couple of months after birth. Though I desperately wanted it, my baby was born premature and was so tiny that I was convinced I would get her high with just a few sips.

However, the more she grew and bigger she became, the more time she spent awake and the less time I had for naps, which meant I started craving coffee more and more.

It started with half a cup in the morning, then a whole cup, then an afternoon demitasse before seeing clients… it was a fast and slippery slope back into full caffeination.

And oh, red wine, you temptress you. Oh sweet relief at the end of the day.

As you know, I was sober for quite awhile before even getting pregnant, and other than the occasional craving for champagne during my pregnancy (anyone else experience this?) I didn’t really give alcohol much thought during my pregnancy.

Then came the long days, the even longer feeling nights, the inevitable challenges of going back to work while juggling the responsibilities of running a home, a partnership, a baby, and running my own business.

I know what it’s like to feel so depleted that you want the easiest solution possible.

And I know how easy it is to find that solution in a bottle.

That’s why the following suggestions (except for maybe the first one) are meant to be easy. With a small investment up front, a little bit of practice and preparation, you can begin to replace coffee and wine (or your booze filled bevy of choice) with these options. Your body, and baby (if you have one), will thank you for it!

Get it done (energy boosters and increased focus):

1. Before thinking of herbal stimulants to help you get it all done, here’s a thought for you. Don’t! Just DON’T do it. Give yourself a break. It (whatever it is) doesn’t have to be finished today. And when it does get done (if it does) it doesn’t have to be perfect.

How: Resist the urge, ask for help, release expectations, let go of the “shoulds.” Ahhhh… doesn’t that feel better already?

2. Take naps. I remember being told “sleep when the baby sleeps.” That’s nice I thought, but what about the cleaning, cooking, organizing, writing, working, etc. Shouldn’t I be doing that while the baby sleeps?

First, see the point above. Second, challenge yourself to lie down, put your feet up on some pillows, and cover your eyes with a cool, lavender scented cloth. There are significant benefits to simply closing your eyes for 5-15 minutes. Set your timer or the alarm on your phone to ease you out with a gentle chime or tone. Trust me, you’ll feel so much better after!

3. The following are my favourite coffee substitutes in that they give me a kick AND taste good.

Matcha: it’s a high grade, finely milled or powdered green tea. High in Vitamin C and antioxidants, matcha also increases energy, boosts focus and memory, AND enhances calm. Pretty sweet combination for the busy mom/woman.

Use: can be blended with favourite milk or nut milk to make a latte, or even whisked with hot water for a tea. I add teaspoons to my green smoothies in the morning, and blend with ice, banana, almond milk and vanilla. It makes a great afternoon pick me up smoothie as well! And can also be added to oatmeal and other foods. For more examples of how I use matcha regularly, follow my Instagram @coachingwithcaitlin

Raw Cacao: In its raw state, chocolate has more than 300 nutritional compounds and is one of the richest sources of antioxidants of any food on the planet! Long considered a 'happy food,’ chocolate is a popular treat when we need 'cheering up.’ Recent research has discovered that cacao contains chemicals (such as Phenylethylamine* and Seratonine) which are scientifically proven to be present in the brains of people when they are happy, more relaxed, playful and creative. To me, this sounds pretty perfect for the stressed out soul. Instead of increasing the jitters with coffee, use cacao to enhance your happiness.

Use: Can also be blended into a hot beverage in the morning, or added to smoothies throughout the day.

Maca: Usually found in powdered form, Maca is actually a root vegetable from Peru. Known as Peruvian Ginseng, Maca has been shown to elevate moods and energy, and is used as a performance enhancer by athletes. Maca has also been found to balance hormones and can be used to alleviate menstrual cramps, anxiety and mood swings. Maca is rich in vitamins B, C, and E. And it provides plenty of calcium, zinc, iron, magnesium, phosphorous and amino acids.

Note* you may read that pregnant or lactating women should avoid taking maca. This is because no testing can be safely done on pregnant or lactating women, though Peruvian women have used maca through pregnancy without any known negative effects.

Use: A little goes a long way. Try a teaspoon (or less) added to smoothies or decaf coffee or your cacao or matcha latte. Again, check out my instagram for more recipe ideas. @coachingwithcaitlin (look for my Unicorn Fuel posts… curious? You should be, check it out!)

Yerba Mate: Yerba mate tea is a South American beverage made by steeping the ground leaves and stems of the yerba mate plant. Yerba mate is a central nervous system stimulant containing caffeine, but it also contains a number of other nutrients, including antioxidants, amino acids, polyphenols, vitamins and minerals. It also enhances the ability to focus, physical performance, reduces stress, and is rich in antioxidants. Are you seeing a theme here?

Use: Best steeped like tea … can be enjoyed hot or cold. There are now several commercial brands available with different flavour combinations such as mint and cacao.

Other blends: Now that you know what to look for, see what other blends include these ingredients might be available at your local health store or online, or create your own! One of my new(ish) favourite Canadian companies is called Harmonic Arts and is based in Vancouver. They have an online store found here: www.harmonicarts.ca

Special note on cost: Yes, some of these ingredients are expensive. But are they really more expensive than your coffee (and wine) habit?

Reframe and realise that these are an important investment in your long term health and well-being.

I’ve started asking for some of these ideas as gifts. The picture below shows a collection of different items that I’ve received from three different visitors recently.

When people ask what they can bring the baby, I gently redirect the request to what mama needs to care for the baby more healthfully. And seriously, how many more onesies does a baby need?

Wind me down (relaxation and ease):

This one can be a bit tricky, as I haven’t found quite as many substitutes for wine that give me the same, or similar feeling.

I’ve come to learn that setting the space, and creating a multi-sensory sensual experience is vital to creating a relaxing ambiance.

Pro tip - if you find reaching for the bottle has become way too habitualized, you may need to clear your house of temptation for a while.

Replace your cupboards with aromatic teas, hot raw cacao, or a square of fine dark chocolate (see the benefits of raw cacao above).

Lay down on the floor. Have you tried that recently? Feel your shoulder blades draw together as your chest opens. We spend so much time hunched over computers, chores and babies that we forget what it’s like to feel this expansion. Close your eyes. Breathe into your toes and fingertips.

For more relaxation tips, check out my 11 alternatives to wine.

I truly believe that mothers are the real superheros on this earth and in celebration of Mothers Day, I’d love to share these tips far and wide - can you help with this?

If you know a mama who could use this info - please forward this post to her.

If you try any of these alternatives, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

xoxo


Stuck in the Shame Swamp?

Do you ever get stuck in the shame swamp?

Shame is a recurring theme for many of my friends and clients who have struggled with alcohol, and is something I personally have done a lot of healing around.

When I began researching the topic in depth, it was interesting for me to learn that feelings of shame are also highly correlated with addiction.

Shame is a deep feeling of inadequacy, inferiority, or self-loathing. It can make you want to hide or disappear. It can also cause a deep, desperate feeling of separation from those around you. No matter how much love you are surrounded by, you might feel completely alone.

Shame can stem from early childhood experiences, starting as early as infancy. Experiences of shame often lead us to self-beliefs such as:

  • I’m unworthy (of love)

  • I’m no good

  • I’m a failure

  • I’m unlovable

  • I don’t deserve happiness

  • I’m defective (i.e. there’s something inherently wrong with me)

  • I’m a phony (i.e. I’m just really good at pretending to be likeable/successful… somehow I’ve managed to fool everyone around me!)

It’s no surprise then that people who experience deep shame may turn to alcohol, drugs or other substances to “fill the whole” and also for connection - an attempt to fix the isolation these shameful feelings can cause.

The problem with this is that when under the influence, we might do or say things that then trigger MORE feelings of shame, which layers shame upon more shame, and leads to what I call the SHAME SPIRAL.

I’ll give you an example from one of my clients.

Dina (name changed) had deep, shameful feelings of being unwanted, and insecurities about her body. When she drank, all of this changed for her, of course. She became confident, in control, flirtatious and felt sexy. She used alcohol in all of her sexual adventures with men.

Unfortunately, on more than one occasion Dina blacked out. She wasn’t able to remember details of what happened the night before. She also suffered some traumatic events (that she remembers parts of) while drunk.

Even though she has since done a lot of work around her alcohol use, and usually practices intentional moderation, and is in a loving, long-term relationship - on the rare occasion that she drinks too much and wakes up feeling as though she may have blacked out, Dina’s deep feelings of shame are triggered. This adds another layer to the shame spiral.

So now, instead of thinking to herself “Whoops, I might have drank a glass too much last night,” her self-talk is along the lines of “I’m a disgusting mess, how does my partner even love me, I’m such a gross f**k up, I’m fundamentally flawed.”

Another client, let’s call her Carol, is currently working through a shame spiral as well. She currently holds a fairly important position in a large corporation and has been receiving acclaim for her work. The more she becomes known for her work, the more anxious she feels that her past will come back to haunt her.

You see, 12 years ago Carol was charged with Public Drunkenness, which has since ended up on her record. She has become terrified and overcome by anxiety that she will be found out, and fired from her job.

If it were merely guilt that Carol was struggling with, her self-talk might be a little more forgiving. “I was young, I made a mistake, I didn’t know how to cope with the trauma I was dealing with at the time, so I drank too much. But really, I was doing the best I could at the time.”

Instead, the shame around the issue cuts to her deepest darkest fears about herself.

“I’m a fraud and a fake, I’m defective, I’ll never be successful because there is something really wrong with me, I’m a failure, I’m no good.”

Yikes. These are really heavy thoughts that Dina and Carol have swirling around. It’s no wonder that they’d prefer to suppress these feelings in an attempt to make them go away.

Thing is, silence and secrecy just adds to the shame spiral.

If any of this has resonated with you, you might be wondering - how do I break free?

Brene Brown does a great job of laying out two simple steps in this video. If you have a couple of extra minutes, I highly recommend watching.

I’ll paraphrase.

Talk to yourself lovingly.

As hard as it might be at first, treat yourself with love, tenderness and compassion. Imagine what you might say to your most treasured friend, your little sister or niece, or your child.

“So you made a mistake. I still love you. In fact, I love you more because I know you are trying to learn from this.”

Share the story.

As hard and painful as it might be, sharing the story can take the power out of it. If it is only living inside of you, it’s like a runaway train of shame spiral. Sharing the story with a safe person will help break the spiral, and diffuse the power. The irrational fear, when spoken out loud, loses some of its charge.

Create a mantra (this is my own suggestion and one that I wrote more about here).

If you can identify and locate the worst fears, figure out that the opposite of that fear is, and focus on that.

Based on Dina’s worst fears, her mantra would be something like this: I am beautiful, I am complete, I am lovable, I am whole, I am perfect just as I am.

This, repeated over and over until she starts to believe.

For Carol: I am smart and capable, I am more than enough just has I am, my worth is not dependent on others perception of me, I am inherently valuable, I was born and still am a divine creation, I am worthy.

This, repeated over and over until she starts to believe.

With so many of us living with secret shame, it’s really important that we start sharing our stories and breaking out of the shame spiral.

If you recognize the symptoms of shame showing up in someone you know, here’s how you can be an ally:

  • Listen to their story, with an open heart

  • Be Empathetic, if you haven’t directly experienced what they are expressing, try to put yourself in their shoes

  • Never minimize their feelings or experience

  • Help them separate the behaviour(s) from the core of who they are

  • Tell them they are loved. Help create a mantry by using the affirmations above

  • Share this blog with them

As always, I invite you to reach out and share with me. If you are experiencing shame and would like to break free of the spiral, send me an email or click here to set up a time to talk.

xoxo


Getting clear on intentions... when is it okay to drink?

How do you get clear and follow through on your intentions?

This topic has come up a lot recently during the Discovery sessions with new clients.

I really do believe we have the power to create intentions for ourselves and stick to them...

More power than we sometimes give ourselves credit for! 

I’ll give you a couple of examples:

My intention is to be able to enjoy a glass of wine as an accompaniment to a meal - as an extension of a sensory experience.

To stay fully present, never “checking out” and to find other ways to relieve stress and worry.

To consistently seek healthier alternatives for my body.

To nourish my body, treat it as a temple, and never abuse it.

Therefore, to justify my intentions into my own personal drinking agreement, I must avoid the following:

  • Feeling tipsy or get drunk (which means for me, never drinking more than about 7 oz over the course of an evening... more on this in my next post)

  • Using alcohol as stress relief

  • Using alcohol as a way to “get out of my head”

  • Drinking hard alcohol

This is how it showed up in my life very recently:

A few days ago I’d had a really looooooong day, after a relatively sleepless night. Arriving home after dark, after an impromptu emergency coaching session which had required all of my last reserves... All I wanted was to unwind. I was also incredibly hungry.

My partner and I were doing the switcheroo/quick hand off - he had been home with the baby and 10 minutes after I arrived home, had to leave for a few hours of work in the evening.

During those 10 minutes, we had a silly fight about some of the groceries that had run out without me knowing - and there was hardly any food in the house (according to me, because we were out of everything I wanted in that moment).

After he left, I sat staring at the opened bottle of red wine sitting on the counter. It was already open! It would have been so easy to pour a glass. All I wanted in that moment was to feel better. I was also craving cheese. Bread, cheese and wine. All at my fingertips.

Instead, I took a few deep breaths, and reminded myself of my intentions. I also took a moment to remind myself that a large part of how “spun out” I was feeling was probably due to lack of sleep and the fact I hadn’t eaten properly since the morning.

I started to make myself a smoothie bowl instead. Mango, strawberries, a bit of pineapple, spinach, coconut water, chia, and some hemp protein. I poured it into a bowl and topped it with homemade granola. It wasn’t as pretty as the smoothie bowls on instagram but it did the trick.

I was eating spoonfuls of delicious nutritious goodness in the same amount of time  it would have taken me to cut the bread and cheese and pour the wine. 

The homemade granola was made by my guy and as I savoured the taste, I was reminded of how many great things he does to contribute to our household (even though sometimes he finishes things and forgets to put them on the grocery list ;)

That feeling of gratitude helped remind me that at times like this, it’s extra important to practice gratitudes. So I sat slurping my smoothie bowl, filling my body with plant power and wholesome goodness, and feeling super grateful instead of stressed.

I was also incredibly proud of myself for actively creating a new way of being for myself. A new response to stress.

Yes, it still sometimes takes this level of conscious practice to stick to your intentions! 

Here’s an example from one of my recent conversations.

Mattie (name changed) was having a really tough time at home. She had been feeling very isolated and unfulfilled in her life, and had begun day-drinking in secret to get through the days.

She decided that she was going to take a 60 day break from alcohol to reset her habits. We discussed her intentions for when she would begin drinking again.

  • She would drink socially and with supportive friends who were clear on her new limits

  • She would only drink wine or beer

  • She would only drink when she was in a “good place”

These intentions were to offset her triggers of feeling sad, lonely, isolated and wanting to escape.

We also made a list of all of her “superpowers” - innate qualities she has within herself, and easily accessible, as well as alternate activities that will help her get through the challenging times when she’s feeling triggered and all she wants is a drink.

A couple of days after our session, Mattie emailed me with an interesting question. She wanted to know what I thought about her setting new intentions for her vacation, which landed during her 60 days sober.

She felt that her holiday would remove her from her usually triggers, and therefore wanted to create a new set of “rules” for herself.

I was supportive of her decision for the following reasons:

  • She was putting a lot of forethought into the decision

  • She was committed to creating clear guidelines for herself for her vacations, and communicating those to her partner

  • She had found an accountability buddy to share her intentions with, and she was sharing them with me as well

  • She was committed to still doing the 60 days sober when she returned home, which is where her real “work” was located.

This is why I love this holistic approach to alcohol moderation. There is no “one size fits all” model.

For some, long periods of abstinence is what’s desired. For others, it’s periods of abstinence combined with clear guidelines around moderation.

Either way, clear intentions help remove some of the “noise” of internal debate and the guess-work out of how to respond to triggers. 

The keys are always:

  • Clarity of intentions

  • Understanding your triggers

  • Finding alternatives

  • Reaching for support

How do you create and stick to your intentions? What are your intentions around alcohol? I´d love to hear in the comments!


Bragging Rights... You've got them!

I don’t about you but sometimes, even now, I still struggle around the concept of bragging.

As women, we are raised to believe that we shouldn’t brag about our accomplishments.

Think about it!

How many times have you heard your mother, aunt, or grandmother say:

Yes, that pie I made is delicious! I’m so happy I finally mastered the crust. 

or

I’m so proud of myself for juggling kids and a career for so many years.

or

I brag that I ignored the cleaning to treat myself to some self care last night! 

Hmmmm, probably not that often, or maybe ever. It’s likely that you heard the opposite. All the could have would have, should haves or toning down of accomplishments... Like, “Oh, it was nothing...” or “It could have been better...”

We were raised to devalue what was considered “women's” work and anything that had to do with taking care of our own needs.

This theme has come up a lot recently with my clients. And even though I’ve spent a lot of years reconditioning myself, I notice that sometimes I still second guess myself around my own right to brag.

Around 5 years ago, when I was really beginning to commit to this path of transformation and personal growth, I was incredibly fortunate to be invited to guest teach Nia dance at a retreat in Sayulita, Mexico. It was at this retreat that I was introduced to the teachings of Mama Gena’s School of the Womanly Arts.

Mama Gena seeks to liberate women from 5000+ years of patriarchal oppression through pleasure, fun and flirtation. A bold mission sure, but if anyone’s up for the task, she is.

In fact, she has an entire chapter in her book devoted to the topic of bragging, and how we much reclaim our right to brag as part of our evolution and empowerment.

So ask yourself the following:

  • Do you stay up at night with worry or anxiety about the future?

  • Do you second guess your actions and replaying scenarios in your mind thinking about what you could have done differently?

  • Do you experience regret, shame or guilt over your behaviours or actions of the past?

  • Do you have thoughts that you are a bad person?

  • Do you sometimes (or always) feel like you are not good enough or not accomplishing enough?

If you answered yes to any one of these questions, then it’s time add some mantras and bragging rights to your toolkit.

Tool #1: Daily (wo)mantra

This is the mantra I began saying to myself, over and over again, 5 year ago.

“I am Caitlin. I am whole and I am enough, exactly as I am.”

Say it out loud.
How does it feel?
Insert your name and try it out.

“I am <INSERT YOUR NAME HERE>. I am whole and I am enough, exactly as I am.”

Is there hesitation in your voice? Uncertainty? Do you believe the words as you say them? You might want to come up with your own - find the words that resonate and challenge you to overcome your deepest insecurities or fears about yourself and your place in the world.

When I have clients do this for the first time, they almost never say it with conviction.

It takes practice and repetition and daily action to begin accepting ourselves, as we are right now in this moment, imperfectly perfect. 

To know that you are a divine creation, and happiness and love is your birthright. You don’t have to earn it, chase it, pine for it... it’s yours because you are you.

If this still isn’t quite believable yet - then it’s time for you to start bragging!!

Tool #2: Daily Brags

Grab your journal, and in addition to your daily gratitudes, write down 3-5 brags.

I’ll go first ;)

  • I brag that I convinced my dance teacher to start incorporating Kizomba into our classes, driven by my desire to learn it  AND I brag that I’m prioritize 2-3 dance classes a week, even when I start to feel “selfish” for taking that time away from home, baby and/or work.

  • I brag that I’ve started drinking more matcha to help resist the temptation of caffeine

  • I brag that I’m always striving for better communication with my partner, even when it’s really really hard and I'm really tired

  • I brag that I have beautiful thick hair and I’m enjoying discovering the “real” colour

When I first started doing this, sometimes it was hard to come up with 3-5 brags EVERY SINGLE DAY.

However, as I stuck to it, it gradually because easier and easier. A note on this: Some days you will feel extra crappy, and it seems farfetched to come up with even one brag. These are the days where it’s even MORE important to find something to brag about...ie, stop beating yourself up, and flip the script.

Some friends of mine even started a “brag” email group so that we could brag to each other, and up-level each others brags by celebrating with each others successes.

And here’s your bonus task ... Next time you receive a compliment, smile, take a deep breath and really receive the words into your heart, and reply with: Thank you, it’s true.

For example:

OMG, this dinner you cooked was amazing!

 Your response: Thank you, it’s true!!

You look fabulous in that dress!

Your response: Thank you! It’s true.

You’re making some really great changes in your life, and it shows!

Your response: Thank you... it’s true!

It’s time to let our let shine. Get rid of the dimmer switch my friend.

No matter how many times I read the following Marianne Williamson quote, I still need a moment to breathe it in and believe it in my bones.

I remember the first time I read it I was in high school and I started to cry. I wanted so desperately to feel safe and free to shine, and I was terrified to do so. During subsequent years, this quote gave me strength as I shed toxic relationships, broke out of the mould that my small-town upbringing tried to impose on me, and ultimately, I remind myself of it each and every time I start feeling like I need to make myself smaller.

Here’s one final bonus task... forward this email to a friend or family member. Some who’s light could shine a little brighter and who feels like a safe person for you to practice your brags with. Set a phone, Skype or Google Hangout date each week to brag together, uplevel each other’s brags, and practice receiving with “thank you, it’s true!”

Let me know how it goes for you! I'd love to hear! Better yet, post your brags in the comments below, so that I can celebrate and uplevel YOU!!

xoxo

ps. The March Motivation calls have been so transformative. If you are feeling the pull - sign up for one now by clicking here. There’s only 1.5 weeks left to take part.

pps. I only have one spot left for my 6-month coaching program!! I’m so thrilled to be working with exactly the number of clients I wanted (minus one, which could be you!). I will not be taking any new clients for at least a couple of months. If you’ve been thinking about calling me, setting up a discovery session, etc and have hesitated, please don’t wait any longer to invest in yourself. Remember, by signing up for the March Motivation call, you’ll receive a free month of coaching in my 6-month program.


Spring cleaning...you've got to create space for something new

How much clutter do you have in your life?

What does clutter have to do with mindfulness, and ultimately wellness?

Disorganized people with cluttered lives often feel frustrated, anxious or out of control. Surrounded by mess and chaos, it can be hard to truly unwind and relax.

Surrounded by “stuff” and holding on to items from the past keeps us stuck back there, instead of allowing for growth and change.

You’ve got to create space for something new to emerge.

 Minimizing and organizing also provide the foundation (ie zen space) for real change to happen.

Letting go of items tied to the “you of the past”, creates the lightness for the new you to soar.

Being mindful of your possessions and where you put them, creates a ripple effect of mindful intentionality in your life.

As decluttering expert Peter Walsh puts it: "Things that are left undone can be your own undoing. They just add stress and waste precious time. Organising is the act of giving yourself more time and peace of mind."

Just as I used to be a really sick person (you can read more about that here), I also used to be a really chaotic, messy and disorganized person.

My bedroom routinely looked the aftermath of ground zero for a tornado touchdown.

My sister called me a hurricane.

Even though I had convinced myself that I “knew where everything was,” I didn’t really. I was forever digging through piles to find what I needed.

I also held on to clutter for way too long. In the name of “memories” and sentimentality, I had boxes of stuff in storage at my mom’s AND my dad’s (yep, spanning two countries).

It’s no surprise that when I started to clean up my act, literally, other aspects of my life began to flow more effortlessly.

"Decluttering is the number one step in the feng shui process because, if energy can't flow freely, nothing else can begin to improve," says personal organiser Kerri Rodley, who is also secretary of the Association of Feng Shui Consultants. She says the bedroom is the best place to start, since this is the most important room for healing and rejuvenation.

I had conveniently forgotten about the “messy me” until one of my best friends, and former roommates (who I lived with during some of my worst “natural disaster phases”) recently said to me: “How does Luis feel about your messiness?”

At first I was taken aback, like excuuuuuuse me?? Moi, messy!?! But then I had to laugh and remember the old me that she knew, and that the organized, minimalist, tidy me is relatively new.

Spring is the perfect time to clear out the clutter and create space for more awesomeness, abundance and change. 

Think about the many aspects of your life that could do with a cleansing.

  • Your closet: do you still have party dresses, high heels and/or accessories that are so “old you” that you will probably never wear them (but maybe are holding on for nostalgia’s sake?) - Put them in a bag, and donate them!!

  • Your bathroom: Do you have unused hair products? Glitter? Make up and accessories that are either expired or outdated? Clear it out!! See if there’s a “Ladies night” at a local women’s shelter, they sometimes accept donations of used makeup and beauty products.

  • Your cupboards: do you have a shot glass collection? Customized pint glasses? Other drinking paraphernalia? It’s time to get rid of it!! Or, transform it. Can you turn martini glasses into money catchers (for loose change) or other glasses into vases? If you can’t transform it into something that beauties your space, pack it up and donate it!

  • Your purse/wallet: You may wonder that this has to do with your health and wellbeing... but think about it. How much unnecessary stress comes from financial challenges? As Kate Northrup, author of “Money: A Love Story” says: Your purse and wallet are your daily money receptacles. To attract more abundance you’ve got to create a soothing, decluttered container for it. That means streamlining your purse and wallet.

Here are a few more tips from Body + Soul website on how to declutter:

  • Start small, even if it's only with a single drawer or cupboard

  • Make decluttering a quick 15-minute weekly routineGet in the habit of putting things away, than "doing it later"Store away seldom used items, and dispose or donate unused onesUse plenty of containers when storing items

  • Have friends help, they aren't as attached to your things as you are

  • Teach your kids to be responsible for their mess

  • Address the emotional reasons why you collect clutter

In the spirit of making bold declarations and holding myself accountable, I have created the following event.

It’s planned for 2 weeks from today, and I’ll have to follow through!! I’m going to get the remaining boxes of stuff I have in storage and comb through my closest, and give it away. This includes mini-skirts I will never wear again, crop tops, high heeled boots, office wear from 5 years ago when I went through a “Scarlett Johanson is my style icon” phase (nice dresses, but I have no use for them now!), scarves, accessories and more.

What action can you take today to begin to declutter your life, and your mind? How will you create more spaciousness, and invite more abundance into your life?