Hello,
“Focusing on the past keeps us stuck exactly where we are in the present. In order for real healing to happen in the present, we must accept and connect to the past without letting it define us.”
Every month we invite a different expert to share their knowledge with our Be More Membership group.
This month’s guest expert was Marine Selenée, a psychologist and family constellations practitioner whom I met last time I was in NYC.
The call was so packed with useful insights that I took pages of notes!
Marine reminded us that it was our inner child who suffered, not us as adults, yet when we don’t recognize the experience of the inner child, we unconsciously react as she would. When we can help our inner child feel at peace and soothed, we become able to control our reactions as adults instead of as a wounded child desperately looking for love (and doing whatever she can do avoid the loss of it).
Marine suggested a daily practice of 5 minutes spent writing or talking to your inner child to reminder her that she is love and appreciated for everything she did to get you to where you are today. Thank you and I’ve got this from here on in.
I asked my mom to send me pictures of myself at the age where I believe I really started to fear the loss of love and experience the effects of abandonment by my father. I’ve been looking at this picture and sending love to this innocent girl who so desperately wanted to be “enough” so that her father would stick around and really want to know her (not just her cute exterior). I’ve been telling her that I understand why for so many years after she kept resorting to physical attention as a substitute for self-love, and why she sought out codependent relationships from fear of being left.
We also learned of a powerful exercise in which we can give the family dynamics back to our ancestors. By starting a letter to our ancestors with the theme of “Today I give it back to you…” means you are acknowledging and affirming that family patterns did not start with your, but they can end with you.
There were so many more amazing and insightful topics we covered in terms of family systems and how to navigate the complex relationships we have within our families.
If you’d like to learn more about Marine and her work, please visit her website. She has an upcoming course all about family constellations and a great book called The Movement, which I am gifting to all of our current Be More Be Members.
If YOU would like to hear the entire replay for of her call with us, as well as the other guest expert calls AND monthly coaching call, join the Be More Membership for only $47/month. If you join this week, I’ll send you a copy of Marine’s book too! More info on how to join below.
xoxo
