Feeling pain is a privilege, and here’s why...

How are you this week?

My current status has gone from emotional rollercoaster (which I rode for the first few weeks of my separation) to “deep in it.”

Moving into my new apartment was the catalyst for this deep dive into my feelings.

Going through the motions of packing my things and leaving the home Luis and I had built together as we were expecting our daughter’s arrival was really hard.

Having space and solitude as I settled into my new apartment and tried to make it feel like home meant there was room to feel the deep sadness, disappointment, and pain that had been barely contained beneath the surface for the past few weeks.

And something I’ve learned about being truly present and willing to feel pain with no distraction is that what rises to the surface isn’t necessarily only about the current experience but may trigger feelings and pain that had been suppressed in the past.

Which is why one heartbreak can feel like revisiting all love lost in the past.

Here’s something else I’ve come to learn.

Feeling our pain deeply is a privilege.

It means we are strong.
It means we are resilient.
It means we trust ourselves enough to know that we can survive this.
It means that we have faith that after the deep dive we will rise again, and thrive.

Knowing this and being able to risk the uncertainty means that we are privileged enough to know that our survival isn’t in question.

For example, I couldn’t feel the depth of pain from abandonment and trauma that I experienced as a child and teenager because I didn’t yet know I was strong enough.

I had to make myself strong enough by stuffing those experiences deep down where I wouldn’t feel them because to feel the depth of betrayal would have been unbearable at the time.

Some people go through their entire lives in survival mode, never feeling safe or supported enough to truly experience their pain.

The tragedy here is that when cut off from experiencing the depths of our pain, we are also denied the opportunity to feel the heights of our joy.

One of our FB support group members posted this quote a few days ago, and it resonated so much with me.

“Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our whole lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy - the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

Brene Brown

Something else I’ve learned?

It’s really hard to be brave by yourself.

It’s really hard to take risks if you don’t know that you are supported.

That’s why healing truly takes a village.

Here’s who I have on my team:

  • A healer/therapist/energy worker/flower remedy expert/astrologer who I see at least every two weeks if not more frequently

  • A holistic business coach

  • A thetahealer, frequencies energy worker and essential oil expert on heavy rotation for consultations

  • A handful of “biz besties” who understand the complexities of being a mom,entrepreneur, and woman

  • Hundreds of women who are part of several groups I PAY to be a part of specifically because they bring together women who share the same values as me and who are committed to similar paths of healing, growth, and expansion

  • Supportive and loving family and friends

  • Our Evolve: Drink Less Be More support group

  • My clients - yes, I consider my clients are part of my team because their commitment to taking risks and showing up for themselves courageously reinforces my commitment to my own health and healing, daily!

It is because of this “village” that I feel privileged enough to deep dive into pain.

I’ll give you an example from a client.

She had basically been sitting on her homework of doing a fire release ritual because she was afraid of what would come up for her. After spending some time reaching out to the Facebook group, opening up to her husband, going to a support group locally AND having two sessions with me where I supported her to take this big step, here’s what she wrote to me:

“I feel amazing today!  Light, full of energy, and thinking that life has so many opportunities for me!  In January I was laying on the couch thinking I truly was finished with life, that there was nothing left for me.  I was done.  Moving from bed to couch to bed day after day.

Today I am feeling like I want more hours in the day because I have so many things I want to explore, to do, to create!”

Now, my client wouldn’t have had this experience if she’d stayed stuck in her cycle. She reached out and set multiple wheels in motion to create some massive shifts in her life. She felt fear, which even paralyzed her briefly, but she was able to move through it because she knew she was supported and safe. She had her team in place to hold her if need be. And now she’s experiencing the privileges - the full of energy and optimism.

Do you have your team?

Do you feel supported and safe enough to move beyond simply surviving into truly thriving??

There are still a few spots available for the Spring Cleaning Fire Ritual and private coaching at my super special "3 years in biz" offer. If you didn't get a chance to read about it on Monday, click here. 

It would be an absolute honour and privilege to be on your team and to support you during this powerful season of transformation and growth.


I'm celebrating 3 years in biz!! With something new I've never offered before...

Hello lovely reader,

On Friday I wrote to you about my rebirth - and celebrating the fact that I although I’m going through a challenging time - I’m taking care of myself to a whole new level.

It is affirming to see how far I’ve come, and I’m ever grateful for the tools to see me through this transition with as much self-compassion and grace as possible. (in case you missed Friday’s email, click here)

Now, for the first time, I’m sharing some of the tools that have served me to release the past and welcome a new way of being in a relationship with myself and my life’s circumstances.

Spring Cleaning Releasing Ritual

I have used fire rituals powerfully over the past few years. I have been able to release old stories keeping me stuck, forgive and let go of pain, reset patterns that seemed to keep repeating themselves, get clear on my desires, invite news stories and receive clarity, abundance, and faith in the process.

I’ve fined tuned a process that will support you with whichever story you are ready to rewrite or pattern you forward to changing.I have facilitated these rituals for groups as large as 100 and intimately with my private clients.

Now, for the first time, I am offered a customized “Spring Cleaning Release Ritual” for YOU!!!

What’s included:

  • A deep dive session to get clear on where you are stuck or what needs clearing (60 mins)

  • A customized set of questions to guide your reflection and preparation for the ritual

  • A step by step plan for creating your unique releasing ritual

  • Accountability in actually following through with the ritual

  • A 30-minute integration call within 30 days after the ritual

This offer is ONLY available as a Spring Cleaning. Breakthrough calls will be scheduled between now and May 1, integration calls will be scheduled through to May 31.

To confirm your Spring Cleaning Sessions, click here to book your breakthrough call and confirm your payment by clicking here and entering the angel number amount of 223$ USD.

This is a POWERFUL healing process that will help you release anything that no longer serves you so that you can move into the next season (and the rest of the year) lighter, with more clarity, and ready to welcome a new story and new YOU.

Private coaching super special spring offer:

I realized, thanks to Facebook’s “On This Day” feature, that I launched my online business exactly 3 years ago this weekend.


What an incredible, wild ride that had taught me so much and for which I have INFINITE gratitude amounts of gratitude. As I just wrote on my personal Facebook wall “I've been doing through a particularly challenging transition recently and it's my community / clients / readers who help anchor me, who remind me of my own tools, strength, and resilience, and why showing up fully and feeling all the feels and refusing to run/numb is the best thing I can do for myself and others.

What an incredible three years it has been... I am infinitely grateful to have been given this path to follow. It truly is a privilege to live this laptop lifestyle, using my gifts to be of service and to do "work" that fills me up and keeps me striving to be a better human every damn day.”

To celebrate 3 years in biz, I’m offering a super special opportunity to work with me 1-1, and I only have THREE of these spots available.

At 333$/month (regular $400) this saves you a WHOLE MONTH off of 6 months coaching.

The thing is, I really only have 3 of these spots available because I take a limited number of private clients at any given time to ensure the best possible experience and container of support for each and every person I work with. Once these spots are full, they are full. Not only that, I will be putting my rates up when I have more spots available because I haven’t raised my rates in 3 years!! (Since launching my business, I have invested thousands into my continuing education and professional development and raising my rates is long overdue).

To set up a strategy session and see if private coaching is a good fit for you, please click here. Remember, there are only 3 of these spots available so if you think this is something you'd like in your life, don't delay! My private coaching will not be offered again at this price and once these spots are filled, I won't be taking any new clients until the end of May at least, and my rates will be higher.

I hope that you have a beautiful weekend and took time to celebrate what you are proud of and steps you've taken in your rebirth/renewal and towards a new you.

I would be absolutely honoured to support you to dive deeper into your healing and transformation this spring.

Shall we?


Breaking Through

She leaned in, tears streaming down her face. Bringing herself to the edge of the sofa where she was sitting, she crossed the gap towards where I was sitting across from her with her warm embrace.

“Caitlin, you are so so brave,” she said.

“Being true to yourself is one of the hardest things you can do, especially when it goes against the status quo. And you are doing this without numbing, you are staying present through the pain. You are so brave.”

I hugged her and sobbed. I sobbed tears of release, tears of sadness, tears of relief, tears of exhaustion from trying so hard to be someone I’m not.

When I finally pulled away, I asked: “What do I do now?”

“You need to be honest,” my therapist said. “You need to tell the truth.”

I knew the answer, yet hearing it made it real.

Yes, I have to tell the truth.

Not doing so has led to a kind of soul-level dissonance that has caused anxiety, headaches, irritability and a stronger craving to disappear back into numbing behaviors than I have felt in years.

The truth is that I wasn’t happy in my relationship. I didn’t feel as though I could be a whole person, or fully accepted as the complex person that I am. While I’ve been growing in so many areas of my life, engaged deeply in healing and transformational work, and have had a major impact on the lives of many - I consistently shrank at home. I had to keep myself small and contained and within a role pre-determined by culture, religion and societal expectations.

So why was it so hard to be honest, even though honesty and authenticity are two of my foundational values and imbued in everything I do professionally?

I’ve thought a lot about this.

I see it over and over again with my clients and friends.

As women, we’re trained at making due. We probably have a biological imperative to do so. We try to make the best of things, especially when there are children involved. My mama bear instinct is strong and the thought of doing anything to disrupt my child’s life was unbearable.

Luis is also an incredible father and human being - he’s kind, funny, generous and protective. Things weren’t horrible, by any stretch. When it came to providing for Luna and giving her a solid foundation, he was there 100%.

But when it came to trying to what I needed to continue to grow and show up fully as an integrated, whole woman - we were worlds apart.

I won’t share much more out of respect for him (of which I have a tremendous amount) and the transition we are going through but I did need to share what was happening with me.

You may have noticed that I’ve been quiet for awhile and this is partially why.

The other part is that I was focused on hosting 12 incredible women for our first Lucir retreat here in Puerto Escondido. It was a life-shifting experience for all involved and creating the energetic container for the magic to happen required my full presence leading up to and after the event.

One thing I can say with absolute certainty is that I am so grateful for this path I walk. I am so grateful for the tools I have learned and created because I am putting them ALL to use now.

Since Lucir wrapped just over 2 weeks ago,
I have started doing the thrive threesome daily again (from Chapter 2 in my book, let me know if you want to know more).
I’ve been sleeping a lot and drinking a lot of tea.
I’ve been exercising, dancing or doing yoga daily.
I’ve watched a lot of sunsets and spent a lot of time stargazing.
I’ve had a massage and booked another one for this Saturday.
I have stayed on the emotional rollercoaster ride even during the terrifying drops that make me want to jump off.
I’ve been feeling ALL the feels and staying present.
I’ve stayed with the pain and uncertainty.
I’ve resisted the temptation to distract myself with social engagements, dates, or new projects.
I’ve stayed mindfully connected with my clients and community and am so grateful that we have each other.
I’ve been planning some new offerings that feel in total alignment with where I’m at right now and the past year of powerful transformation and can’t wait to share more info on that soon.

There you have it dear, a summary of the massive shifts happening in my life.

Thank you for understanding that I simply couldn’t write for awhile - I needed to stay present with what was happening for myself before trying to explain it to others.

There will be much, much more coming your way soon as this butterfly takes flight and processes her transformation.

Until then, infinite gratitude and love,