3 things you can do when you're feeling sad


I understand now that I’m not a mess but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. I explain that now, when someone asks me why I cry so often, “For the same reason I laugh so often, because I’m paying attention.” - Glennon Doyle

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, you’ll know that this past week I was feeling really sad. The news of both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committing suicide and leaving behind young daughters - hit me hard.

Seeing countless follow up posts about friends and acquaintances who were also struggling with mental health, or who had lost someone, really brought home how much we are struggling collectively - in a culture that is making us sick and isolated… and is literally killing some of us. There are some weeks, like last week, where we come face to face with that reality, and I don’t know about you caitlin, I’m left reeling and wondering “Am I doing enough? How can we change this?”


A week ago today, on Friday afternoon, in a freak accident, a young construction worker was electrocuted and died on the roof directly in front of my house here in Mexico.

In an instant, so many lives were changed forever.

My friend who heard the cries and saw it go down from her balcony, and called for help.

My other two friends who rushed down from their third-floor apartment ran across the street and up three floors where one performed CPR and the other held the young man's head and prayed and talked to him as his spirit left his body.

The young man's older brother, who was the head of the construction crew and watched his younger brother die.

The neighbour's/owners of the construction site, one of whom was also electrocuted and rushed to the hospital where he remains under observation.

The staff of our hotel, who have been friends with the family for years, one of whom was hanging out on the rooftop during a break, just minutes before the accident.

And of course, the rest young man's family... including wife and 9-month-old baby, and his parents who had to say goodbye to their child.

The grief and shock around were palpable over the weekend. The building site directly across from my patio remains eerily silent and it is impossible not to think about what happened every time I look out my window, as I did numerous times a day.


And then on Saturday, I had a consultation call with a guy I had known from elementary and middle school. My initial consultations are usually 45 mins to an hour, and we talked for twice as long.

While a lot of our conversation centred around his experiences, we also talked about mine.

We talked about how we had learned to survive trauma and the culture of extreme and violent toxic masculinity that we grew up with... He became a hockey player, used alcohol to numb and aggression as an outlet for his pain. Though he was a few years younger than the perpetrators of the abuse I experienced, he literally became "that guy" I had to protect myself from.

I held space for him to cry and I could feel him sobbing from across an entire continent.

The conversation brought up a lot for me, it literally so close to home.

I felt deeply sad after. I sat in my office and cried.

I cried tears for the children in both of us, longing to be held and comforted and loved unconditionally.

I wept for the teenagers in both of us, who grasped at all we knew to survive and both resorted to defiantly fighting/fucking our way out... and the resulting, protective shell so thick it is taking years to chip away.

For us as adults and parents, trying so hard to heal and learn to love ourselves so that we can show our kids how to be whole.


The layers of sadness felt like a cloud around and inside of me... clouding my ability to think clearly (I kept forgetting things) or move quickly.

I went to see Ocean's 8 on Saturday and was entertained for a couple of hours and yet as soon as I got home, the cloud returned.

I went out dancing for a couple of hours that night and had my moments of joy, but then the sadness would well up in my eyes and my friend/dance partner kept saying "animoCata" ... I felt the old familiar urge to numb/escape creep back. I took myself home and cried instead.


I'm paying attention.

I'm refusing to turn away.

I'm also releasing the sense that there is something "wrong" with me when I can't "get over it" or when I feel so deeply

I've felt distracted and can't really concentrate

And I know that this is okay

It's okay for me to be with sadness

It's okay if it takes time

I'd rather be "too sensitive" than tuned out

Learning to show up as I am and truly BE has been one of the hardest and also most beautiful gifts of my life.


What can you do if you’re feeling sad?

Be honest:

One of the biggest gifts you can give yourself is to be honest about what’s going on. I used to put on a smiley face to try to convince everyone including myself that “EVERYTHING IS FINE” - when of course, it wasn’t.

It still feels unfamiliar to me to answer the question “how are you?” honestly.

Here’s an example of a conversation with a friend on Monday (over text message):

Friend: “How are you?”

Me: “I’m actually really sad right now.”

Friend: 'How come?”

Me: “I’m not sure. Everything. It feels like a lot right now.”

Friend: “What can I do to help?”

Me: “I don’t know… I think I just need to be sad. Keep checking in… give me a hug later?”

Then I posted on Facebook about feeling sad. It was really hard for me to do this, as is sharing this blog. After putting on a mask for so many years, it’s still hard to take it off sometimes, even with practice.

Give yourself time:

I’ve come to realize more and more that the only way out is through. As you saw from my attempts to distract myself from my sadness on Saturday, it didn’t really work. Going to the movie and then out dancing was a temporary escape, however, what I really needed was to give myself the time to experience the range of emotions … and to have a fully embodied experience of my grief and sadness. This took a few days, days where I tried to slow right down and take the non-essentials off of my “to-do” list. If this isn’t possible, for example, you are a caretaker and have to go to your 9-5 job and just aren’t able to turn inward, it’s okay… Be patient and gentle with yourself and know that it might take a little bit more time to work through you.


It can be really hard to reach out for support when you are feeling sad, and even more so when you are depressed. That’s why I advocate setting up a support system when things “aren’t so bad.”

I have a world-class team of support: an incredibly skilled holistic therapist whom I see every two weeks (currently repeating in my calendar “forever” lol), two coaches, my mastermind sisters, several colleagues who truly understand the unique challenges of being an entrepreneur, friends with whom I can be raw and real, family...

If you've been feeling sad, lonely, isolated, overwhelmed, paralyzed, wanting to tune out or numb... Let's talk. I know it can be hard to reach out but I promise you will feel better when you do. Together, we are stronger. Sometimes, speaking with someone can help you see options that aren't obvious when you're "deep in it." I would love to connect. Click here to set up a time. 



How to eliminate the "shoulds" in Redefining Your Relationship to alcohol


How are you?

A couple of weeks ago in the Redefining Sobriety Immersion program we covered the topic of “releasing shoulds.”

This theme is so important that we dedicate an entire week to it!! It provides the basis for what makes Redefining Sobriety so powerful… eliminating the external noise and stories that don’t belong to us, to get clear on and listen to our intuition.

There are a lot of "should" when it comes to redefining our relationship to alcohol:

  • I “should” quit drinking if I have a problem
  • I “should” want to be sober if I’ve struggled with alcohol
  • I “should” be better
  • I “should” be farther along in my healing
  • I “should” do what my family wants
  • I “should” keep drinking because I’m not an alcoholic and my friends/spouse/family doesn’t think it’s a problem...

In Redefining Sobriety, we learn to get quiet and eliminate the “shoulds” that don’t belong to us. 

You can try this too!

Try writing a list of everything you think you “should” be doing.

Once you’ve written a comprehensive list, get quiet with yourself. As you read over the list, you may ask yourself “whose should is this?” Or, “whose story is this?”

Start crossing anything off of the list that doesn’t belong to you.

It’s entirely up to you to decide your story moving forward.

Another reframe is switching to the words “I could” which helps you feel like it’s an option rather than an obligation, or “I can” which becomes a more empowering statement.

During one of our group coaching calls, I shared how “shoulds” have shown up for me in interesting ways since launching my business.

Of course, there’s some of the obvious "shoulds" that come up when we compare ourselves to other entrepreneurs or coaches.

But something interesting started showing up for me recently as I compared myself to the “sober coaches” out there.

There’s a really incredible community of women out there who championing alcohol-free living. They are bloggers and coaches and writers and podcasters and many share super inspiring and powerful content. I’ve interviewed some of them of my summit and have been interviewed on some of their podcasts.

I noticed a question starting to wiggle its way into my consciousness.

Should I be completely alcohol free? 

Many of these women have stories very similar to mine.

They don’t identify as alcoholics.

They don’t necessarily feel at home in programs like AA.

They are finding alternative paths to recovery and that’s part of what inspires me.

Yet, the difference is that they chose to completely abstain from alcohol.

It started feeling to me to that they are part of this cool club that I wasn’t really allowed in because I still drink.

And that was triggering a deeply imbedded high school era desire to be invite to the popular parties and to fit in.

I started to doubt my decision, my path…

Imagine that - my entire coaching practice was built around providing my community and clients with the options to CHOOSE THEIR OWN PATH and empower them redefine their relationship to alcohol ON THEIR OWN TERMS and here I was questioning the very foundation of that for myself.

Talk about existential crisis!!

That’s why “getting quiet and getting clear” becomes so important. 

Because, the truth is... when I get quiet, and can tune into my inner voice, and get clear, I realize that I actually really LOVE having the option to drink when I want.

I LOVE that I’ve learned to moderate when others said I couldn’t or that’s it’s too hard or impossible.

I LOVE that I have an entire toolkit I use so that I don’t turn to alcohol in times of stress, sadness, loneliness or anxiety.

I LOVE that it’s entirely up to me whether I drink or not, and that I can have an experience like the one I had 2 Fridays ago, without guilt or shame.

Last week, I traveled to Miami for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition’s holistic health coaching conference.

On Friday evening, I had an invitation to join some dear, long-term friends of mine for dinner. They announced in the afternoon that they wanted to treat us to caviar and champagne.

Though I’ve tried caviar before, I’ve never been to a champagne and caviar bar as decadent as this one (ok let’s be real, I don’t actually think I’ve ever been to a "champagne and caviar bar" - ever).

I savoured the entire experience and probably over the course of a couple of hours, drank the equivalent of 2 or maybe 2.5 glasses of delicious high end champagne, while nibbling on toast with chives, crème fraîche and of course, caviar.

It was a luxurious experience and one I was grateful to have.

It was special and I’m so relieved that I don’t have any guilt or shame around my decision to partake.

I enjoyed the taste, the flavours and textures, the effervescence of the bubbly.

I wasn’t chasing a “feeling,” reacting to a trigger, or compromising my alcohol agreement with myself (as you’re probably aware, my personal alcohol agreement includes not drinking when I feel like I “need” a drink, or when I’m feeling triggered aka sad, overwhelmed, lonely, anxious or self-critical, and to stay on the sober side of tipsy and not drink more than 1-2 in a sitting, except for rare and special occasions - this being one of them!)

I still had a great night’s sleep and felt clear and energized for the conference the next day.

The following evening, the conference hosting a “networking “mixer” in a trendy lounge. I navigated an “open bar” with absolute ease, having a glass of water, then one drink and then zero desire to partake any more in the flow of vodka drinks being passed across the bar. I also ordered a martini at the following venue that was so poorly made that I didn’t finish it.

It affirmed for me again that I can choose quality over quantity and prioritize an experience over the effects of alcohol. 

And I did this mostly unconsciously, without fear of sliding back into old ways and overdoing it. Previously, the free flowing booze would have been a trigger, as with the “high performance” expectations of a conference networking event.

What I love about releasing the "shoulds" and stories that don’t belong to us is that we truly each get to decide our own path and are empowered to choose our own experiences. 

Some of my clients and community members choose to live alcohol free because it’s what feels better for them. Others choose moderation, others are very sporadic in their consumption, and others oscillate between the two.

The only “right way” to do this is the way that feels aligned and right for YOU. 

That’s what Redefining Sobriety is all about.

I’d love to hear from you - do you struggle with any “shoulds”? If so, what are they? Are you aware of where the story comes from? I’m happy to help you sift through the shoulds. If you'd like to talk more about how this relates to you, set up your free consultation/call here.


ps. As we're winding up this round of the Redefining Sobriety Online Immersion program, I have a few 1-1 spots opening up. If you are feeling ready for in-depth support to discover YOUR unique path - let's chat!! 

7 Strategies For Overcoming Anxiety


This was a really hard blog for me to write. It brings up so many fears - especially around my competence and whether you can trust me as a coach and “leader.” It was so hard to write, in fact, it took me THE WHOLE MONTH OF MAY to get this to you… (May was mental health month and I wanted to send a specific blog on that theme).

However, anxiety can be so insidious and affects too many of us. There is still a lot of shame and stigma around this topic… and it’s one that I didn’t speak about personally for a long time.

Anxiety, simply put, is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. Anxiety is part of “normal” brain functioning and has a very important role - to keep us safe.

The part of our brain that controls feelings such as anxiety is called the amygdala, and it is the part that gets activated when there is a perceived threat. Imagine you are walking down a street at night and all of a sudden, one of the street lights goes off and everything becomes a bit darker. Almost simultaneously, you hear footsteps rapidly approaching behind you. Your breath quickens and your heart rate speeds up. This is your body preparing you for “fight or flight” - which might save your life. Granted, those footsteps could be an evening jogger, or a friend who saw you from a few blocks away and is sprinting trying to catch up with you. However, there is a moment when your brain doesn’t know the difference between a perceived or real threat - and its job is to do what it thinks is best in order to save your life.

Anxiety can be triggered by a number of factors associated with our modern societies and is so common now that it is an estimated 40 MILLION people in the USA who suffer from an anxiety disorder.

For a long time, I didn’t know that what I was experiencing was anxiety. I don’t remember feeling anxious as a child, or exactly when it started.

However, reflecting back… I see the layers of stress that started to pile high on top of each other.

The enormous pressure I piled on myself to be “okay” - after going from getting very good grades to almost failing grade 10 and 11, having tons of problems at home and eventually leaving for a time before I graduated high school.

The alcohol-induced blackouts that started around age 16, where I would wake up in a panic trying to fill in the blank around what happened to me… and lasted for another decade and a half until I got my alcohol use under control.

The sexual molestations and rape that started around the same age I left home, and the shame surrounding my inability to speak up or even really know what was happening to me, let alone do anything about it.

The high-performance coping mechanisms I developed after high school, where I over-achieved like my life depended on it, because it felt like it did.

The accumulation of days and weeks and months and YEARS without enough sleeping, pushing myself hard hard harder… or was it running, fast fast faster to stay as far away from the pain as I could.

(When praised for my accomplishments or asked the question “how have you accomplished so much at such a young age?” I would often answer “I don’t really sleep.”)

The excessive amount of pressure, stress and responsibility I felt at a young age led to some pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms and not surprisingly, panic attacks came with them.

I remember the first one so vividly, I was walking to the Commercial drive community clinic where I had to open up on a holiday Monday and supervise a group support meeting. I had been partying all weekend (my “coping” strategy for a very intense work environment and a ton of responsibility at a young age) and was very short on sleep. I started feeling anxious about the day ahead and realized I wasn’t breathing properly. Before I knew it, I was feeling like I was going to pass out and my hands cramped up so intensely they were paralyzed and I couldn’t even use my phone. I remember shaking uncontrollably and vomiting in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. The attending paramedic had to hold the bowl in front of my face while lecturing me about the drugs I had told him I was taking. I was put under observation for a few hours and then sent home with some lorazapam. I had to call sick to work because I couldn’t get out of bed for 2 days… and I was too ashamed to talk about the reason why.

The crazy thing about anxiety is how quickly it tries to convince you that you’re going back to “that place.”

Like recently, while I was sitting on a comfy couch next to someone who cares about me, and I forgot to breathe because we were watching a scary movie, and I stood up to walk outside to get some fresh air and the bright light blinded me and I started to feel dizzy, my body and brain wanted to take me back to “that place” and within seconds I felt completely out of control and terrified.

For me, anxiety can both be a mental trigger or a physical experience that takes my whole body hostage at times.

It’s the shallow breath that seems to get stuck in my throat, no matter how hard I try to breathe deep into my chest.

It’s the dizziness and lightheadedness that follows the shortness of breath.

It’s the nausea that sets in along with the panicked fear that my body is taking me to a point of no return.

It can be triggered by external factors or seemingly “nbd” nuisances like get startled awake by shouting or dogs barking aggressively or any loud noise really… and it’s really hard to explain to anyone else who doesn’t have experience with this exactly how hard it is to climb back out of the spiral.

Or it can be triggered by legit fears or made up ones, and the pressures of being a good mother, coach, business owner, friend, partner, etc..

Sometimes it is literally paralyzing, like the inability to follow through on what should be a simple task or email.

I think I spent so many years running and performing and self-medicating that I am only just coming to terms with my anxiety.

Becoming a mother has brought it even closer to the surface on a daily basis, and becoming a single parent (and single person) brings me face to face with my fears, like, next level.

There are a variety of tools that I’ve been using to help me manage my anxiety. At this point, I’m not trying to be “anxiety-free” as that feels like a lot of pressure, but I am trying to get through the day without a meltdown. Some days that feels more doable than others, and I practice a whole heck of a lot of self-forgiveness on the days that fears and forgetting to breathe spiral into an uncontrollable attack.


This might seem obvi but it’s actually something I have to remember to do. When I realize how shallow I’m breathing and that I haven’t taken a belly breath for a while, I stop what I’m doing (if possible) and place one hard on my heart and one hand on my belly and breath all the way into my lower abdomen. I often to this parked in front of my office, after I’ve dropped my daughter off at school and before I head upstairs to the office, or when I’ve escaped into the bathroom at home trying to get my emotions under control. I find counting my in and out breaths really helps, and gradually increasing the count. For example, if I’m feeling short of breath, I start with one count in and one count out. Then after several breaths, I increase to two, then to three.


My mornings used to be super rushed and chaotic (before having a kid). As I started to redefine my relationship to alcohol, I realized how important it was to start the day calmly and in a way that nurtures my mind, body and spirit. Then I had a kid, and my morning routine went to shit for awhile. I’m now committed to waking up early, doing deep breathing while still in bed and listening to the birds and centering on a feeling of gratitude, drinking my water and lemon and taking my supplements, doing my Thrive Threesome journaling practice and prepping a smoothie because I wake my daughter up. This takes between 30-45 mins. I notice a huge difference on the days I have time to do this versus the days I wake up at the same time as she does or when she wakes up early and I’m immediately in “reactivity.”


If I’ve been in a high state of anxiety or have experienced an “attack” - I often need to rest a lot afterwards. “Pushing through” is sometimes necessary (I do have responsibilities outside of myself) however I try to allow myself time to rest as soon as I can… sometimes that’s laying down on the sofa in my office or on the floor for 10 minutes (at this point I don’t really care what anyone else in my office thinks though I realize this might not be possible for everyone) and I plug in soothing, chakra balancing music. Or I simply try to get to bed earlier, especially as I’m prone to waking up a lot. Michelle Cady, a former client and author of the recently released “Self-Care in the City” talks about the importance of rest in our interview about alcohol and adrenal fatigue. Here’s her interview from the Redefining Sobriety summit. 


While I’ve used essential oils off and on for years, I really began to understand their power while I was hospitalized during my high-risk pregnancy, with haemorrhaging and the threat of a mid-term miscarriage. I used “tranquillity” and “serenity” blends pretty much non-stop… trying to calm my fears and adrenals so as to not put more stress on the little one who was fighting for her life inside. The oils used in the picture here are the ones I used most frequently now. I put cedarwood and vetiver on the soles of my feet and use a mantra that “I am grounded/rooted, I am centred, I am safe.” When I feel myself “spiralling” into what feels like an anxiety attack, I used Purify to bring me back to myself. Balance transports me into a feeling of being protected and in the forest, from which I draw strength.


Using “tapping” or emotional freedom technique (EFT) has done wonderings. There is something very powerful about acknowledging what I’m feeling and loving myself through it. Affirmations such as “Even though I’m feeling really anxious and fearful right now, I totally love and accept myself just the way I am” combined with tapping on the meridians that have been shown to help calm the amygdala and reduce cortisol has been super powerful. I’m also grateful to Jackie MacDonald for teaching me about “finger tapping” which you can do anywhere. Here is her interview from the Redefining Sobriety Summit where she shares several really practice tools and takes me through a tapping exercise to deal with overwhelm (aka anxiety trigger).


I learned this technique from Tree Franklyn. Instead of saying, “I’m anxious” or “I’m stressed,” I try to shift the language to “I’m feeling anxious right now” which shifts the internal conversation from labelling myself to making a statement about how I’m feeling right now, which both separates my identity from the experience and helps remind me that it is not permanent. Another affirmation I use often is “I love you” on the inhale and “I am safe” on the exhale.
I've also included Tree's interview from the Redefining Sobriety Summit.


I see a therapist twice a month who supports me with healing trauma (and who also works with tapping and other emotional freedom techniques and herbal/flower remedies), I have coaches who support me through the fears and pressures of being a healer and a coach, and running a business, and a small group of friends I can call on for support and who help remind me to breathe. I have colleagues who are also people who experience anxiety and can relate without minimizing or dismissing what I’m recalling or experiencing. I’m particularly grateful to Dr Perpetua Neo’s work and our many collaborations on this topic. Here’s an article she wrote that talks about the connection between alcohol and anxiety.  Dr Neo also has a lot of other great articles on anxiety so make sure to check out her profile on Mind Body Green.

I hope the videos and links I’ve included in this blog are helpful. If you’ve experienced anything like what I’ve described here, please know that you can reach out and that there are tools that can help. I’m happy to talk about this anytime. Here’s a link to my calendar to set up a time to chat.

If you want to hear from the other summit experts (several of whom talk about trauma and anxiety in different ways and share a variety of tools), you can purchase the entire summit for $47 and there’s a ton of value. Let me know if this interests you and we’ll send it your way!


The Antidote To Doubt

Do you find yourself crippled by doubt?

Doubt can creep in many ways.

It may show up as difficulty making a decision, choosing between two options, or purchasing something.

It may show up as a lack of belief in how deserving you are of having your desire fulfilled.

It may even show up as resistance or procrastination.

Underlying doubt that you are capable of something or worth something might throw up unconscious roadblocks and resistance.

You see, doubt likes to be right.

Doubt is attached to the fear-based mind which (to the best of its ability) is trying to keep you safe by keeping you the SAME.

The ego likes to prove itself right - so by creating unconscious resistance to change and setting you up to fail, your ego/fear-based doubt-driven mind can effectively say “See? I TOLD YOU SO. You can’t do this, you aren’t capable, you’re not worthy and you certainly don’t deserve it.”

I see this all the time.

A big part of my work as a coach is to gently shine the line into this shadow that doubt casts.

To create a safe and supportive environment so that my client can start peeling back the layers and understanding what this resistance is really about.

And also, to provide a ton of encouragement and FAITH that a different alternative is possible.

I was reminded of this on Monday while reading the many Martin Luther King Jr quotes floating around the internet in commemoration of the anniversary of his death.

One that really resonated with me and that I shared in our private Facebook community was this one:

“Faith is taking the first step when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

It takes a lot of faith, to give up alcohol or any other unhealthy relationship or dependency that has in many ways served us throughout our lives. It has brought us comfort and soothed pain. It has opened doors and granted permission.

Giving this up for a newer, more integrated, healthier, whole life when you don't exactly know what that looks like yet (or if it's even possible) requires a lot of FAITH.

So many people come to me knowing there is something better for them. However, not having lived this new reality yet - it can be so hard to believe and yes, have faith, that it is possible. That these tough changes, which include confronting some of your deepest, darkest fears about yourself, are worth it. It can be hard to know what life really looks and feels like when the crutch is taken away, the self-medication stops, the liquid courage is removed, the numbness replaced by clarity and presence.

That’s where I am come in - with my own life, with examples of other clients who’ve succeeded in overcoming doubt to make the changes they so desire.

As always, when a theme pops up and resonates with me and I know intuitively that it is what others need to hear at the same time, beautiful synchronicities happen (I call them confirmation that I’m on the right path) and this piece of writing came across my newsfeed yesterday.

“Faith is the “work” in “Light work”.

It scrubs and rinses and steadily erases doubt. Faith stays on doubt's ass: I see you. I dissolve you. I replace you with Faith. And then doubt will pop up again. And Faith is right there: Yep, I heard you. I choose faith. Yep, I know the odds, I choose Faith. And because Faith knows the natural order of things, she says to doubt: You'll probably be back later this week. And you might even distract me. But I’ll still choose Faith. No anger, just clarity. No complaints, just pure, fiery resolve.

Doubt isn’t a failing, it’s a reminder to feed and protect your positive beliefs.

Faith isn’t something you “have”, as much as it's something you do. And if you do it consistently—the clearing, the focusing, the nourishing...the getting back on track, then you become the very Lightness you long for.”

When you start feeling doubt sinking its paralyzing tentacles into you - stop.

Take a few deeps breaths. If possible, take of your shoes and ground your feet.

Rather than giving it a downward, anxiety riddled spiral of thoughts, focus on the best possible outcome. Breathe life into that vision.

Call a friend or family member who you know can help lift you up again, who can give you a faith-booster.

Meditate or pray.

Diffuse an uplifting blend of essential oils (I love citrus such as wild sweet orange, lemon and grapefruit, rosemary, bergamot, and ylang ylang)

Light candles and incense - do what you can to invite in the Light.

Hold, wear or prominently display moonstone, amethyst or aquamarine crystals, which are said to help find and hold on to faith.

Is this sounding a little “woo woo” to you ? Well, maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. But think about the alternative - staying stuck and weighed down by doubt. If one or all of the techniques above can shift the energy and help you feed and protect your positive beliefs - then why not give it a try?

Edit - I realized, in another flash of insight and synchronicity regarding this topic, that many of you will be receiving this email on the day the new President is sworn into the United States. Now, more than ever, as the personal becomes political, this renewed sense of FAITH that something better is possible might be of critical importance to you.

How can you choose FAITH today ?

What can you do to protect your positive beliefs?

How can you nourish your desire and vision of a different reality for yourself, your community and the world?

What action can you take to support this vision?

I’d love to hear from you! Let me know what you are going to do - TODAY!!

Simply reply to this blog post - I love hearing from you.


Don’t forget!! The Friendship Sale is on for a few days more. One of the most surefire ways of fanning the flames of FAITH is to DO something that sends a beaming message that YES, I DO deserve this!! YES, a transformative experience designed to 100% support my healing and growth is totally possible for me!! YES, I can have a team around me to support me to shine brighter!!

Any questions about the retreat experience? Make sure to email me asap!

I have nothing new to say to you

I have nothing new to say to you today, one week into the New Year.

My intuition is telling me that you need more time to integrate the idea of intentions into your vision for the next year.

In fact, I considered copying and pasting last week’s email again because everything I wrote is as relevant for this week as it was last week.

If you haven’t read last week’s blog on Resolutions vs Intentions - do so here.

If you’ve read last week’s blog but haven’t taken the time to create your vision and intentions for 2017, make sure to schedule time this weekend to do so!!

As part of the ceremony I did with my mother and partner on New Year’s Eve, we wrote our vision for the upcoming year, our intentions based in how we wanted to feel (each sentence started with “I am happy and grateful that…” more on this in last week’s blog) AND we each wrote down 1-3 potential barriers or blocks to realizing our vision. These could be either internal or external factors that we felt that needed to release in order for our desires to be fulfilled. Then we said a prayer and burned our lists. (fyi, we did this together but separately. I didn’t see what others had written and they didn’t see mine. However, it felt powerful to hold space for each other’s visions and intentions).

If you are still feeling resentful towards anything that happened 2016 or holding a grudge… considered a “bless and release ceremony” to let go of any lingering weight you might be carrying.

Here is the link of a blog I wrote a couple of years ago on how to bless and release (or forgive and let go.) This is powerful to any time (and as many times as you feel you need to) however now, at the start of the New Year, it can give you the feeling of lightness and a less burdened state.

Here are a few tips that will help “call it in” for the next year

Prioritize time, starting now

These things won’t magically start happening. Scheduling time to write, journal, dream, practice gratitude and take daily action towards your dreams is paramount.

Focus on the WHY, not the HOW

Keep reviewing your intentions, imagining how you will feel when you dreams are realized. Get clear on WHY this is important to you. The HOW will keep you stuck in what you already know and cuts you off from brand new possibilities or paths you may not have imagined yet.

Take one step, do it now

Pick one action for this week and start doing it. Next week, add another. Keep doing this. Keep taking action!! Many of my clients are deciding to follow a program like The Whole 30, or doTerra Detox, or committing to a certain number of days alcohol free. For others, it’s about incorporating more consistent self-care into daily routines. The most important is for you to decide something you are going to do differently, and do it.

If something stops feeling good, try something new that still fits with your intention. Questions about this? Ask me!!

Thank you, and MORE PLEASE

Stop looking for confirmation that things are harder for you. Start noticing everything that goes RIGHT. Notice, and appreciate. You received an unexpected discount? Thank you and MORE PLEASE. Traffic was lighter than expected and you arrived somewhere early? Thank you and MORE PLEASE. Your partner remembered to do something you’d given up nagging about. THANK YOU AND MORE PLEASE!!!

Gratitude, and more gratitude

I really can’t emphasize this enough. As one community member mentioned today, “I truly believe that we manifest good things when we are grateful for everything. Every experience, sometimes even the ones that seem bad are a new opportunity to learn. Focusing on the positive has helped with big changes going on in my life and it feels like the universe is conspiring to help.”

This is coming from somehow who hit a very deep bottom a couple of years ago and was quite despairing that any good would come of her life.

Celebrate your successes

In addition to “releasing 2017” and practicing gratitude, why don’t you celebrate your successes while you are at it! It is so easy to be hard on yourself and frustrated about what you didn’t accomplish. Go ahead and make a big long list of EVERYTHING you have to celebrate in the past year as a means of honouring just how far you’ve truly come. (As I type this I am inspired to write mine - this past year was hard for me and I’ve been quite critical of myself. For accountability, I will post it on social media tomorrow!!)

As one of my favourite coaches and author of the Wild Soul Movement Elizabeth DiAlto recently posted on Facebook: “Please, please, please as you make your 2017 plans and projections and map out your goals, take a moment too, to measure backwards and honor your unique milestones, life's sweet affirmations whispering in your ear, "You can do this. You ARE doing it. Keep going and don't underestimate yourself."

You’re on trend (ahead, even!)

If it feels like you are going against the grain within your inner circle, family or community, remember that you aren’t alone. There has been a proliferation of articles recently on the benefits of cutting back or eliminating alcohol, and drinking less was named as one of the health trends of 2017 by Mind Body Green. Many are choosing to redefine their relationship to alcohol and not only those who have a severe problem or consider themselves alcoholic.

If it feels like you are the only one you know wanting to make these changes, you are warmly invited to join our “secret society” aka Facebook group that has more than 100 women who are some of the most caring and supportive people I know. Simply reply to this email and let me know that you want to join. If you use a different email for Facebook, let me know in your reply, and I will send the invite to that email.


Calling It In For 2017

Why set an intention over a resolution? 

In The Power of Intention, Wayne Dyer defines intention as “a strong purpose or aim, accompanied by a determination to produce a desired result.”

An intention is something you aim to achieve, something that has a purpose, something that you actively work to manifest in your life.

Now, in order to create powerful intentions, it’s super important to get clear on what you are working towards.

What does your vision of yourself look like for 2017 and beyond?

Anyone who has ever set up a free consultation with me knows this is one of the first questions I ask.

So ask yourself, what does your vision for yourself look like?

If everything were to go RIGHT, and you were able to make all of the positive changes you want to, what would your life look and FEEL like one year from now?

When we make resolutions and focus on the minutia, or create rules for ourselves to abide by, it’s easy to despair and throw in the towel when we’re not achieving what we think we should be.

“Said I wasn’t going to drink more than 2 nights a week and last week I drank more nights than not - what’s the point anyways? Might as well quit trying.”

“Didn’t make it to the gym 3 times last week so I’ve already broken my resolution and it’s only the second week of January. Obviously I’m not going to be able to achieve anything I wanted to this year, as I’m still a lazy f**k.”

When we set these kinds of goals for ourselves we sometimes set ourselves up for disappointment. And then when we don’t follow through or “succeed” right away, our inner critic is so quick to use this as confirmation of our worst fears about ourselves: We’re incapable of change, unworthy of making the changes, flawed, damaged goods, doomed to stay stuck and never expect anything better… etc.

Does any of this sound familiar?

How would you like to free yourself from this cycle, NOW?

Take some time today or tomorrow to bless and release 2016, create a powerful vision for yourself for the next year and from there, set intentions.

Get comfortable, take a few deep breathes. You may want to use a couple of drops of a grounding blend of essential oils to really center yourself (I love doTerra balance, cedarwood, vetiver, sandalwood or rose). You may want to light some candles or use incense to cleanse the space.

I know that 2016 has felt like a really hard year for so many. What helps “bless and release” a more challenging time is to make a list of your celebrations (no matter how seemingly small) and then say a simple statement or prayer:

“Thank you 2016 for all that you taught me, thank you for xyz that I have to celebrate. I bless you and release you to create space for my vision of 2017.”

Next, allow yourself to entertain the vision of yourself a year from now.

What are you doing?

How do you treat yourself?

How do others treat you?

How do you look?

How do you feel?

What did you create in 2017?

What changes did you make?

How has your life transformed?

Your health, your body, your relationships?

Allow a feeling of gratitude to wash over you. Really sink into the feeling of how it would feel to wake up on December 31, 2017 and reflect back over the past year.

Now, from that vision, create your list of gratitudes for these things AS IF THEY’VE ALREADY HAPPENED and from there, we’ll create intentions.

Start each sentence with “I am happy and grateful that…”


I am happy and grateful that I have control over alcohol.

I am happy and grateful to feel so healthy, strong and confident in my body.

I am happy and grateful to have consistently prioritized self care.

I am happy and grateful to experienced so much abundance and adventure.

I am happy and grateful to feel honoured, respected and supported by my spouse/family.

From this, your intentions become:

To have control over alcohol.

To be healthy, strong and confident.

To prioritize self-care.

To experience abundance and adventure.

To be honoured, respected and supported by your spouse or family.

You will, of course, write down what best suits you and your vision for yourself (these were just suggestions on my part).

As Hafiz wrote “The words you speak become the house you live in.”  I believe this is true for the thoughts we think and the words we write as well.

So choose your words mindfully!!

You see how this is different than resolutions? Even if you feel like you are slipping or have a few weeks that are harder, you can keep your “eye on the prize” so to speak and know what you are working towards.

Alexandra Nicewicz Carroll wrote in her article Drop the Resolution and Live with Intention: “Compared to an intention, a resolution is relatively simple: it either is or is not, it sticks or it doesn’t. Intentions require nurturing and cultivation, tending and care. Intentions require whole-hearted commitment to a purpose or an aim as well as a willingness to surrender ourselves to this all-encompassing force, to trust that, as we contribute each day to nurturing this intention, our vision and purpose will unfold in our lives.”

Is every day perfect? Of course not. But the most important part is to stay committed to the vision, believe in the intentions (that’s why we practice feeling them and writing them down as if they’ve already happened), and then taking consistent action towards fulfilling this vision.

Some days this might be going to the gym, whereas on other days a quick 10 minute power walk might be all you can muster and what is actually best for you in that moment.

Some months during the year you might even decide to go alcohol free while during others you practice moderation - and it’s all part of “gaining control over your alcohol use.”

See where I’m going with this?

As my friend Maru Iabichela says, “Rome wasn’t built in a day. Start laying those bricks now if you want to see your dreams grow. Ps. ALL steps count. No steps DON’T count” (ie, take action, even small steps make a difference. NO steps means no movement)

Not only are we welcoming in a New Year, we’re also experiencing a New Moon right now. It’s the perfect time to sow the seeds that we want to see grow into fruition.

I’ve been asked about intentions and how to really make them “work.” As one Drink Less Be More Masterclass participant recently wrote: “How do you break the cycle? It seems like sometimes good intentions never quite make the reality.”

I sent this question to another dear friend and author of the Intention Generation, Makenna Johnston, to which she replied: “Intentions are just part of the process.  They aren't THE process.  Setting intentions for the new year matters, don't get me wrong.  But it is the action you take that catalyzes intentions into results.  And RESULTS is what you're after.“

NOW is the time to start.

Get clear on your vision, grab a pen, write it down your vision and gratitude statement, distill your intentions. Bless and release 2016 and start calling in everything you want for 2017.

Do this NOW.


Then choose something you will do differently, also starting now.

Why wait until tomorrow or January 1st?

That’s the kind of action Makenna and I are talking about.

Want 2017 to end differently than 2016? Then what are YOU going to do to make that happen?

If you have any questions about any of this - please do let me know! I'd love to hear your vision for yourself, your intentions and the actions you are going to take to make that vision and those intentions a reality!!

Also, if you’d like to powerfully activate the New Year, both Maru and Makenna have live events coming up at the end of January (Maru’s Infinite Receiving Live) and February (Makenna’s Practical Magic). I’m going to be at both and both are going to be incredible. Let me know if you’d like more info!!

I’ll leave you with this beautiful command by Henry David Thoreau as you enter the New Year:


How to release the Ghosts of Christmas Past

How are you?

Many of my clients and community members have expressed anxiety around this time of year - let’s call it the revisiting of ghosts of Christmas past.

This is experienced as a fear that this year will be a repeat of previous years or dwell on negative past behaviors.

This season can bring up a lot of stress and anxiety, for any number of reasons… unpleasant or traumatizing memories resurface feelings of loss and grief, family issue, money troubles, travel. For many the holidays can be extremely sad or memory filled and can bring up mixed emotions that make us want to self-medicate, often starting a harmful behavior cycle that pushes us further and further away from the holiday cheer we long for.

The following strategies will help you feel secure in your ability to have a different outcome this year, so you can welcome a new season and new opportunities with open-heartedness instead of fear.

The first place to start is by setting clear intentions. I know, you hear me talk about intentions a lot - but with good reason! We often spend so much time thinking about what we DON’T want that we forget to spend time creating a clear vision of what we DO want.

Before any event or activity ask yourself: How do I want to feel?

Setting that intention is the soul fire that fuels our goals. Then, we can map out the behaviors that align with how we want to feel. E.g. If you don’t want to be in emotional upheaval on Christmas Day while meeting family members and talking about the year, then set the intention to drink less. Even if you feel that alcohol calms your nerves initially, you know it won’t fulfill the longer term goal of feeling good the next day, so there is an opportunity to set an intention to drink less. This way you’ll also wake up feeling better about youself the next morning too, paving the way for a better Next Christmas, instead of repeating that nasty cycle.

I asked my friend and colleague Dr. Perpetua Neo for specific tips on holiday stress and anxiety. Dr. Neo is a psychologist and coach who helps high-achieving woman liberate themselves from panic attacks, anxiety, and trauma, quickly and deeply.

Here are her recommendations:

Remember: You are human.

So when the ghosts of the past haunts, it’s okay. Don’t shove it away by pretending it doesn’t exist— even if you’re doing it ‘spiritually’ (e.g. using meditation, yoga)— because running away is running away. Instead, acknowledge your humanness with all the tenderness you can muster. If not for yourself or the younger version of you, channel the compassion for a little child or a little kitten.  Simply tell yourself, “Yes I’m feeling [EMOTION], and it’s okay. I make the choice to take care of myself right now”

Remember: Then is not now.

It’s often easy to be stuck in the past— our old patterns of thinking, acting and feeling are big muscles, and we need to be aware that they will play up. As compared to the new muscles of tenderness and kindness, which may be small right now. So we’ll want to play out old patterns— it’s not called the comfort zone for no reason. Sometimes if we’ve been traumatized, then the timekeeper in our brain meshes the past with the present, and we are in a literal time warp. To help us, we need the constant practice of being mindful. Meaning, being present in the now. So we help to regulate the timekeeper in our brains. Here’s the simplest mindfulness exercise that only takes 3 minutes of your time, that I teach all my clients.

Remember: watch what you do with your thoughts.

We’re not taught that just as our thoughts come from nowhere, they can disappear into that same nothingness too. Instead, too many of us grasp on to our thoughts for dear life, as though they are preordained or sacred. There is a saying, allow your thoughts to come and go, just don’t serve them tea (by Zen master Shunryu Suzuki). But, what a lot of us do instead is we lay out the red carpet for our thoughts and serve them champagne cocktails and dark chocolate truffles. Of course, our minds go awry!

So there you have it, my friend. I called in the big guns to help ensure you are as supported as possible this year.

Let this season be a powerful redo for you. It’s up to you to infuse new meaning into the season so don’t let another year go by passively waiting for things to get better.

With that, I wish you and yours the happiest and healthiest of holidays.



Last year I was featured in this great blog with 6 healthy mocktail recipes and tips for moderation. It’s information like this and planning your alternatives that will help make it possible to stop the downward spiral of previous holiday patterns.

Remember - this doesn’t have to be boring - and it shouldn’t!! Treat yourself and your body like a temple and you will feel so much more powerful and strong through this season.


Remember - you have support available to you. We have an active Facebook group and it’s been so beautiful to see all of the support everyone is offering each other during this time of year.

If you’d like access, please reply to this email and let me know!

Holiday Hit List!

Are you getting into the spirit yet? No, I didn’t mean spirit(s) like the boozy kind… though I know from chatting with clients and community members that this time of year can be triggering.

That’s why I’m focusing this email on my “holiday hit list” for you - my favorite articles and tools to help this season go as smoothly and soberly (if that’s your desire) as possible.

Also - I slammed my finger in my car door on Monday and it’s still incredibly hard to type/write!!

All the more reason to reshare these gems, I say! If you’ve already read these articles, then skip ahead for 2 amazing free downloads and 15% of a perfect gift for your wish list (or to gift yourself!)

If you haven’t read it yet - here’s my most recent article on Mind Body Green. These practical tips will help you handle holiday stress without resorting to booze.

If you feel your stomach knot with anxiety at the thought of holiday parties upon parties, here are my tips for avoiding a two-week hangover this holiday season.

If you’ve already experienced going overboard at a party and are experiencing the emotional aftermath, here’s some tips on releasing the shame and taking care of yourself.

If the thought of you family members over-drinking is worrisome and makes you want to avoid family gatherings altogether, check out my article on dealing with a family member’s unhealthy drinking.  

If you are looking for some inspiration for decadent non-alcoholic alternatives for the holidays, check out these fancy libations compiled by my friend the Sober Señorita. (Warning: if sugar is a big trigger for you, it’s probably best NOT to open this. Instead, stick to some healthier holiday spritzers, such as sparkling water, cold pressed apple juice, and frozen cranberries… served in a champagne flute or wine glass - so pretty!!)

I also want to take this opportunity to introduce you to a few very special women.

The first is Patty Swiatly. Patty first came to me as a client over one and a half years ago. She found out about me through The Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN), where we both trained and received our coaching certification. Patty was struggling with her alcohol use and feeling that it was blocking her from successfully transitioning from her work as a massage therapist into coaching. She was more right than she knew!! Over the course of our work together, we discovered that Patty wasn’t only blocking herself as a coach, she was also blocking her true intuition and the unique gift that she has to share with the world.

As a deeply empathic, intuitive, sensitive soul - Patty is also a powerful healer and energy worker. In the past year and a half, she has completely transformed her practice to step into her potential and share her gifts doing Holistic Coaching for the Soul. I have personally experienced the depth of Patty’s knowledge and guiding during three sessions with her and I consistently recommended her FREE guide “Supercharge Your Chakras and Tips for Balance Your Unique Chakra System” to my clients. This guide is packed with really practical tips on how to work with your chakras. This time of year is apt to throw us off balance, and incorporating these tips into your self-care practices will be so beneficial!

Next, meet Cassie Mitchell. Cassie and I also first met through IIN and then again in B-School. Cassie reached out to me as she was getting her biz going and we totally connected. It was so amazing for me when Cassie came to Puerto Escondido (where I live) and we were able to meet in person. Over the years, we’ve become closer as we’ve both become mothers and have prioritized holistic health and wellness for our families.

As I began incorporating essential oils into my life more and more, Cassie became my go-to gal. We recently managed to find a time in our busy schedules to meet and discuss how to use oils as a remedy for stress during this holiday season, and how to become your own medicine woman. I loved this conversation and hope you do too! I rarely do calls from home but the time we found to connect (Cassie’s in Hawaii and I’m in Mexico - so the timezones and our kid's schedules needed to be factored in and this call was while Luna was sleeping) so you get to see a bit of my back yard. Watch this 20-minute video for our top three oil picks and uses etc

My friend Nicole had an incredible idea when she came up with the “Diosa Box” - basically - self-care made easy and delivered to your door! These sumptuous collections keep you inspired to pamper yourself as the Goddess you know you are and to celebrate, we’ve been offered 15% off!! Wahoo! Simply entered the promo code GODDESS when you make your first purchase!

Available this month are the following two boxes:

Gratitude is focused on gratitude with a daily journal, cooking herbs, and a few beauty items to nourish face and body like a mask, serum and coffee scrub.

JOY is focused on finding and maintaining joy during the holidays. It's cozy with a candle, bath soak lip balm, honey and a party detox blend.

The promo code works with either a one-time purchase or when you sign up for the subscription. What a perfect gift for yourself! Make sure to check out @diosabox on Instagram to drool over their amazing photos!

I hope this email has provided you with all you need to take care of yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually this holiday season. If you feel the need for more support, make sure to join our super secret Facebook community. Just reply to this email and let me know you’d like to join and I’ll add you via email to the group (you’ll receive an email from Facebook asking you to join). Even though this group is secret and not searchable online, I realize that you might like a bit more privacy. If so, click here to set up a time to chat privately.

Sending you so much love!!

How to stay present through the holidays.

Below is an excerpt of a guest post that will be coming out soon on Mind Body Green. However, since this is a topic that has been coming up frequently with clients and community members, I wanted to give you a sneak peak of the info so that you don’t have to wait until it becomes public!

As we approach the holidays many clients and community members are commenting on feeling stressed, anxious or fearful of what might come up during this season. There is a temptation to want to numb out, erase the pain or put it on hold until the holidays are over.

I want to urge you to take a stand for yourself.

This year - refuse to mess around with your delicate internal balance of hormones. Find ways to invite and welcome natural feel-good chemicals that will help you ride the waves of emotions that you are sure to be experiencing during this potentially triggering and tumultuous time.

Do yourself the most loving favour and make this easier on you by not choosing alcohol as a coping mechanism.

Here’s how:

1. Set clear intentions. Devote time daily to thinking and journaling about that making this change will really mean for you. Instead of focusing on the negative ie “I don’t want to be hungover anymore, I don’t want to feel like crap, I hate being low energy or unfocused” frame your statement as a positive affirmative action statement:

“I am strong and am able to feel all the feels.”

“I deserve to be healthy, happy and whole.”

“I continue to explore authentic stress relief and am able to sleep peacefully and restfully.”

2. Take time to truly be by yourself. When avoiding feelings or trying to numb out, it can be tempting to fill our time with tasks, activities and other people. However, this can add to the feeling of underlying anxiety as it’s another tactic for avoidances instead of really dealing with what’s under the surface. Make sure to schedule (yes, schedule!!) time for yourself DAILY from now until the end of the year. Even (and especially!) during the holidays, grab 10-15 minutes to lay down, listen to some meditation or chakra balancing music, or get outside in nature and go for a brisk walk instead of reaching for that glass. Even you haven’t spent time by yourself for awhile, don’t be surprised if you feel intense emotions surfacing. When one of my clients recently started a regular morning practice

3. Find a delicious, appealing and healthy alternative. Let’s face it - deprivation sucks. That’s why really restrictive diets often don’t work, and emphatically made promises to eliminate alcohol often fall short - we haven’t found an alternative good enough to assuage the feeling that we’re missing out. We are pleasure-based creatures, after all. Have fun exploring the tea or seltzer water aisle and come up with some new creative options. There’s no reason why you can’t still bust out your fancy stemware for your mocktail. Same goes for a dinner out. Peruse the cocktail menu and ask your server or bartender which can be made non-alcoholic, or craft your own mocktail using ingredients you see on the list. During the holiday season - task yourself with bringing a non-alcohol option to parties and wowing the crowd with how tasty it is.

4. Create new rituals. Did you know that floral scents connect us to earth energy and stimulate the limbic system for a fast-track to a pleasurable, calm feeling? Put a few drops of lavender, rose, geranium or orange blossoms on into your palms, rub your hands together and cup your hands, inhale deeply. Place calming and relaxing blends into a diffuser, light aromatherapy candles. Dance. Have a bath. Watch a silly video. Belly laugh. Roll around on the floor and do sensual stretching. Lay on your back and practice deep breathing. The point- find what works for you!! Play around and experiment. It may take a combination of techniques in the beginning to overpower the urge for wine - you owe it to yourself to try!

5. Find an accountability buddy. There’s no reason why this topic should be shameful or shrouded in secrecy. If you already have a best friend you can share with, an accountability buddy or someone else who supports you who you feel comfortable sharing with- then talk to them about it! Let her know this is an area of your life that you want to make some changes around and tell her how she can support you. Discuss your fears and how this person can best support you, especially through the holiday season!

6. “Peace begins with me” mantra: This can be done anywhere, including the dinner table during holiday meals and family gatherings!  You can, of course, say this aloud of are comfortable doing so or are by yourself, or you can say the words to yourself.

  • Touch your index finger to the thumb on your same hand and say the word “peace.”

  • Switch, touching your middle finger to your thumb and say “begins.”

  • Continue down the line, touching your ring finger with your thumb and say “with.”

  • Touch your pinky finger to your thumb and say “me.”

7. Celebrate your successes!! It can be scary to open yourself up to feeling the pain and to stop numbing uncomfortable emotions. There can be fear of opening the floodgates of self-criticism and it can be easy to feel defeated. This is why it is critical to spend time celebrating yourself! Especially as we near the near of the year - it’s a great time to reflect on your accomplishments, what you’ve overcome, how you’ve triumphed over adversity, the changes you’ve made in the past year (and in your life). There is no success to small to be worthy of celebration. We are so good at being critical of ourselves that it is absolutely crucial to spend time acknowledging.

 Finally, do what you can do remind yourself that YOU are in control, and YOU GOT THIS! You can ride the waves of emotions and you will come out the other side - stronger, and with more awareness. Cheers to that!!


The definition of insanity.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

The quote has been attributed to Albert Einstein, Mark Twain and Ben Franklin, amongst others. While I do like to properly cite my sources, we’ll just leave this one to the internet debaters and focus on the sentiment of the quote… shall we?

Can you relate?

Maybe you’ve had this experience too.

You want things to be different.
You think things should be different.
You even declare that things WILL be different!

And then nothing changes.

It’s where all the manifestation messaging out there gets confusing. You can’t simply declare to the Universe your desire for a different reality and expect it to be so.

Sure, saying and believing that you are an Abundant person, for example, and then seeking confirmation and signs of abundance can be a powerful exercise in shifting your money blocks or blocks to receiving...however, it’s likely not going to make you a millionaire.

Making things different requires consistent action.

It’s one of the first questions I ask someone when we speak for the first time.
Me: “Have you tried to redefine your relationship to alcohol before?”
The answer is usually yes.
Me: “Great, so what strategies have you tried or what did you do differently?”
Hesitation… “Well, I decided to cut back (or stop) drinking.”
Me: “And what else did you do differently.”
Crickets. “... nothing really.”

And that’s how we end up having the conversation.

So many of us believe that we should somehow be able to “willpower our way” into or out of things…

YES - changing our thoughts IS important. It’s critical in fact. As Dr. Wayne Dyer famously said, “Change your thoughts, change your life.”

BUT - it’s only half the equation.

Intention (ie thought) + action = change.

It’s the only way to change habits and relationships (because our relationship to alcohol IS a relationship) that were years in the making.

You need to do things differently in order for things to be different.

Otherwise, well… it’s kind of like insanity, isn’t it?

So how can YOU do things differently?

What is one thing you can change in your daily routine to start seeing different results?

Sometimes a small change can make a huge difference.

I’ll give you an example.

I recently started feeling in a bit of a rut. It was hard for me to feel inspired to write (and I love writing!) Even though I have a fabulous office, it’s a bit of a drive from my house, and on days that I’m not coaching, I like to be able to work from home. Yet, home felt a bit chaotic. I’d spend time tidying Luna’s toys or washing dishes, or couldn’t get comfortable, and started dreaming up renovations for the house. That was on a good day. On a day when I was more tired, worn out, or generally “blah” feeling, I would feel resentful that more of my wishes weren’t taken into consideration in the design of the downstairs part of my home, that I don’t have a home office, blah blah blah.

Somewhere along the way, I’d forgotten that I have a gorgeous terrace. A terrace where I wrote the MAJORITY OF MY BOOK last year. A terrace with a beautiful breeze in the morning and a stunning view. A terrace that I have to walk across to get from the stairs to my bedroom and back.

How on earth could I have forgotten about this terrace?? Good question, I’ve been asking myself the same thing!!

As I mentioned, I was in a rut (in more ways than one and more on that in a bit).

Making this one change has changed everything. I am happy to be writing again. I’m happier about my house. I feel more energized. I even started working out up here and after an impromptu barre method class I taught a friend last week, we’re going to make it a weekly thing. (Fun fact: I used to be a barre method and fitness teacher)

This seemingly small change has had a huge ripple effect!!

Now, getting to the place of awareness that I needed to change my actions is a slightly longer story.

I was in a rut, as I mentioned. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I came back from Canada exhausted rather than replenished. My expectations of myself and what I was going to accomplish with my business in the past year, coupled with parenting a demanding toddler, had completely depleted me. I  was reaching the point of burn out and I recognized the signs, having been there before.

And yet, I didn’t seem able to “do” anything about it. I was thinking a lot about how I wanted things to be different but I wasn’t taking action. I was consistently deprioritizing myself and my own self-care.

As you and I both know, this is catastrophic for a mother and business owner in the helping profession.

So I took action. I signed up for a 2.5 day “Sensual and Free” retreat in Woodstock, NY.

I must admit, spending $1000 USD for a couple of days seemed steep to me. However, having made investments like this years before - I knew how important it was not only for the content of the retreat but also symbolically. I was sending a powerful message that I’m worth it. That something that is purely and solely centered around MY self-care is as valuable as any business, home or family investment.

During our time at the retreat, we talked and practiced about many things I already “knew.” After all, I’m a holistic coach and any of my clients can attest to the focus and importance I place on self-care, rituals, healthier habits etc.

But I’m still a perfectly imperfect human just like you. Just because I talk about this stuff doesn’t mean it’s always easy for me now.

I needed to be guided for awhile. I needed to get out of my comfort zone. I needed to invest in MYSELF (not my biz, cause I’m really good at doing that).

I needed time away in a sumptuous environment,
to soak a jacuzzi, steam in a sauna, swim naked in the middle of the night in a salt water pool, do a “releasing ceremony” under the full moon,
be in the company of amazing soul sisters 100% committed to my happiness, well-being, and spiritual growth,
eat delicious nourishing food prepared by someone else and with love,
To have the whole bed to myself and sleep diagonally,
To set new intentions,
And of course, to learn to tools and techniques for self-care

That retreat was really only a blip in time over the past year. But those 2.5 days left a big imprint. It’s like a new blueprint for self-love was created and the road map became clearer for me. As you know, I’ve had powerfully transformative retreat experiences in the past. This one was different and I needed it differently because I’m different. I’m at a different place in my life, with a new set of challenges.

Trying to do the same things that worked before and expecting different results was starting to feel, well yes, insane.

Have I nailed self-care in the past 1.5 months since that retreat? Not completely.
However, I feel the fabric of my being is different.
My body remembers how it felt to be there, and craves that kind of loving care.
My mind reminds me more frequently of the desire to sit, to journal, to reaffirm my intentions.
My soul craves more connection with myself, and with other like-minded and like-hearted women.
My spirit is lighter.

And I have new tools for myself and to share with YOU!

My clients and Masterclass participants are already reaping the benefits of my own commitment to self-care, and that makes me happy.

You can bet your bottom dollar (is that actually a saying?) that I will be sharing all of this and so much more next March at Lucir Mexico.

The goal is to create an experience so powerfully transformative that you have no choice to go home a changed person. It will be woven into the fabric of your being. Your soul will remind you of the commitment you made to yourself, your spirit will be dancing for weeks afterwards reminding you of how free you felt, your body will crave nourishment and movement, and your mind, even when throwing up potential resistance, will also display beautiful practicality in reminding you of the tools you learned.

What’s it going to be for you?

Moving your desk, getting up 15 minutes earlier, trying a new class (such as an 8-week salsa dancing class on of my clients is trying out), auditioning for a play (another client who just turned 60 will be performing in a play for the first time next spring - talk about pushing her edge!), or signing up for a powerfully transformative experience - DO SOMETHING!!

As a loving reminder, the early bird discount for Lucir March 2017 ends today. If you email me with questions or are even a “maybe” let me know TODAY and we’ll honour the discount if you need a few more days to get everything together… however, space is limited and we’re already 50% full - so the sooner the better!

Don’t wait until 2017 to make changes, make a commitment to do different, today!