Meet some of the women who said yes
I understand, it can be intimidating to join a group of women that you don't know.
It can be even scarier to join a group of women that you don’t know but are joining together because you’ve all struggled with alcohol.
As one new participant just wrote to me “Although somewhat fearful, I look forward to the 6 week program!!”
I get it, I really do.
I also know that it can be scary to spend money on something like this.
There certainly are other options available to you. You can stick with the free, DIY, piece-it-together approach. There’s a lot of great info out there and a lot of not-so-great info out there.
You can go to AA meetings or other 12 step meetings or moderation management and download resources online. You can try different options and sift through what you find online and see what resonates.
On the other hand, there’s private therapy, coaching, and treatment centres that cost hundreds or thousands of dollars. You can also sift those options and see what’s a good fit.
Whatever you decide, I encourage you to DO SOMETHING if you are serious about making changes this year.
TAKE ACTION - that’s how you are finally going to break the cycle and truly show up for yourself.
I’ve seen time and time again within this community the relationship between the willingness to invest in oneself (that can be a financial investment or an investment of time or of being of service and often a combination of all three) and the ability to be substantive changes.
You may also want to ask yourself “what’s it going to cost you NOT to make these changes??”
At this point, you know better than anyone whether you are ready. You know if you’re wiling to invest in your health and happiness.
You may just be wondering if this Masterclass is the right fit for you.
I thought it might be helpful to get to know some of the other women in the program - to see what kinds of women are saying YES to themselves and each other.
-
There’s the 30-something year old expat living overseas, who realized her drinking was getting out of control and every occasion was an occasion to drink. While she’s managed to create limits for her drinking while out socially, she still struggles with moderation at home.
-
The woman who is turning 60 this year and wants to gift herself a powerful and transformative change for this important milestone. She’s been able stop drinking alone, yet finds that in social situations her anxiety or excitement sometimes gets the best of her and she ends up drinking more than she’d like.
-
The woman who travels a lot for work and would like to redefine her relationship to alcohol. It feels like a treat and not a "must have" each day. She’s like to get to a place where she feels comfortable to “pass” even (or maybe especially) when it’s offered for free (such as when it’s offered on first class flights)
-
The mother of 3 who has tried AA and doesn't believe that “all or nothing” is right for her. She wants to be able to enjoy a glass of wine over dinner with friends AND no longer wants to allow it to drag her down. Her goal is to create a life so fulfilling that alcohol feels like an afterthought.
-
The 60+ year old retired school teacher who noticed that drinking was becoming her hobby and she’d become a bored habitual drinker. She envisions becoming physically and mentally stronger, knowing that SHE is the one who gets to choose and take control of her life, and welcome all kinds of new adventures experiences.
Do you see yourself in any of these women?
While their life experiences and visions for themselves might differ slightly, ALL are committed to taking action and coming together to learn, grow, challenge themselves and support one another.
It’s beautiful and I am beyond excited to support these women.
It’s not too late to click here to apply and join this year’s Masterclass, today!!
We’ve added 1-1 coaching calls with me at the beginning and end of the program and as soon as your registered, we can schedule the first one. There will be a new private Facebook group for members where I will be active doing lifestreams in addition to the weekly live Q&A calls. My amazing assistant Maylene will be contributing TONS of individualized support as well - she’s a gifted seer and intuitive healer and has to much to share in self-development. We’ve added more new content to the 6 modules, and have a month of support added after to see you through the holidays and into the new year.
What an incredible gift to yourself!
As always, feel free to email me directly with any questions you have.
xoxo
Questions about the Masterclass? All the answers in here :)
Hi!
There have been some great questions about the group program and I’ll do my best to answer them here. You can also feel free to email me anytime! Just reply to this email. If you are sure you'd like to apply and just haven't had a chance to do so yet - click here for the application.
What is the format of the Masterclass?
You will receive two emails a week for 6 weeks and there will be weekly group coaching calls (on Thursdays). On Monday, the email will cover the topic of the week, the weekly reading, reflection questions and activities to start incorporating. On Friday, you will receive a recording of Thusday’s call and further strategies for the weekend. There will also be a secret Facebook group exclusive for DLBM Masterclass participants. There will be Livestreams in this group and plenty of opportunities for interaction and support.
Where will the classes be hosted?
The classes are hosted online, using a free software called Zoom. This allows for either video or phone participation, and you have the option to use video or not. There is also a chat function. More info will be sent once you've been accepted into the program.
What if I’m in a faraway timezone or can’t make some of the calls?
Once all of the participants are selected, we will do our best to accommodate everyone’s timezone. Last time we ran this program, we had participants from as far away as Manila and Dublin and everywhere in between. If you have a prior commitment or are unable to make one of the calls, you can submit your question in advance and I will answer it on the call. This is also why we record the calls to ensure that you can access the info at any time. And the recordings are yours to keep forever!
How much individual support will I receive?
There are plenty of opportunities for coaching from me during this 6 week program. Each participant starts and ends the program with a private 15 minute call with me so that we can get crystal clear on your intentions and so that you feel supported at the end of the program to continue on your own.
I am available and hands on the Facebook group, you can ask questions during the Livestreams, and most importantly you can ask questions during the weekly coaching calls. This is more live connection than my 1-1 clients receive! This is a group program specifically designed for you to have the support of other women as well - so the support is in a group format. If you are thinking that you would like more individualized support, 1-1 coaching may be the way to go (which starts at a minimum 3 month commitment). If you have questions about this, let me know!
What topics does the Masterclass cover?
This six week comprehensive Master Class consists of six modules and an integration component that explains in simple and practical steps HOW to redefine your relationship to alcohol. It also creates an opportunity for dialogue and connection with other like minded women who bring compassion and support to a shared struggle.
Week 1-Intentions
Week 2-Positive thinking and Accountability
Week 3-Strategies
Week 4-Healthy habits/Health Impacts
Week 5-Relationships/Sex/intimacy/Dating
Week 6-Integration of strategies learned, goal setting for moving forward
Follow up and follow through (one month additional accountability to see you through the holiday season and into the New Year!)
I’ve already read your book - how will this be different?
There is nothing like real-life accountability and support! Reading the book is a great start and some people have been able to make significant changes by implementing the strategies from Drink Less Be More: How to have a great night (and life) without getting wasted. However, this program is designed to take you even deeper into the concepts, the self-reflection, and perhaps most importantly, to give you the nudge to take action. I share many of the techniques that I use with my private clients with the added benefit of having others learning and growing alongside you - which is really inspiring and motivating.
How do I know this is for me?
Wish you could drink casually without worrying about overdoing it and what could happen?
Feel like you need/want to change your dynamic with alcohol but don’t know how or what to do
Hide alcohol, drink secretly or feel shame about how much or how often you drink?
Feel overwhelmed by trying to limit or control drinking on your own?
Have tried ways to stop or limit drinking that haven’t stuck?
Wish that you had support support to talk about these issues from people who understand and have been there?
If you said yes to any of these questions - the Masterclass is a great fit for you!
How much does the Masterclass cost and are there payment plans available?
The paid in full cost is $497 USD. If you require a payment plan, you can choose either 2 payments of $267 or 3 payments of $187.
First payments (or paid in full) is due as soon as your application is accepted to secure your spot, and if choosing a payment plan, your total investment is due before the close of the program.
While there are free programs out there, many will force you into a box where you don’t belong! I have yet to find another option that provides you with so much individualized support to come up with a personalized plan that works for YOU and your unique goals and desires.
This program is an incredible value considering the amount of live coaching and support offered during the 6 weeks and implementation phase. Let this be your gift to yourself to finally make the changes you’ve been wanting to make and to have this be a holiday season to remember! (Literally!) Start 2017 feeling empowered and with healthier habits to help you truly live the life of your dreams.
Why is there an application process?
Because of the intimate nature of this group, it is important to have group cohesion and to foster safety and support. This program is also unique in that we support you to identify your own goals regarding your relationship to alcohol. This means that it is different from traditional abstinence-only approaches. We want to make sure that everyone joining the Masterclass is aligned with the philosophy.
Here is what a previous participant had to say about the approach:
“I really enjoyed being in the Masterclass with Caitlin. She is very supportive as she guides you to make your own rules around moderation. I also loved being in the group with other like-minded women who want to grow and support you in your growth too, along with other fun activities that Caitlin threw in every week. If you are looking for moderation with others and how to have fun without alcohol, then I definitely recommend the Masterclass!”
When are applications due by?
Applications are due by Oct 28th however admission is rolling and we will begin reviewing applications and notifying participants asap. If you are interested please submit your application as soon as you can to ensure your spot because once they are filled, the class won’t reopen until late next Spring.
Click here for direct access to the application form. If you have any further questions, let me know asap! Just reply to this email.
I realized in my last email we forgot to include the link to my "It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to" blog - in which I talk about how different my life is now compared to birthdays of years past. It helps explain my personal evolution from then to now, and why this Masterclass is so deeply important for me - it truly is what I wish I could have found years ago when I was struggling.
I look forward to reading your questions or better yet, receiving your application!!
xoxo
I got tipsy and I'm totally okay with it
“What are you intentions for the night?” my best friend asked as we were primping and getting ready to go out in New York City for a belated birthday celebration for my 35th.
I was slightly taken aback at first, then flooded with gratitude.
“It’s working!” I thought to myself. This life and process I created for myself and share with others - it’s working!!
I paused to think about it. I wanted the evening to feel fun, playful and carefree. I wanted to feel tipsy but remain in control. I didn’t want to have to think about it too much, count drinks or “worry.” In short, I wanted to feel like I could have a great time that involved alcohol, without feeling like someone with a problem.
A lot of my clients have a similar goal: to have a healthy relationship to alcohol.
The definition of healthy varies from person to person, but the idea behind it is always the same - to be able to enjoy a certain amount of alcohol (usually well within the low-risk guidelines) without the negative consequences, without obsessing about whether to drink more or stopping within the limit they’ve decided for themselves.
I felt together and in control all night. I was tipsy but never felt close to losing my grip on consciousness or the beautiful reality and personal integrity I have worked so hard to create for myself.
We had a fantastic 12 course chef’s tasting menu at a hot new plant-based restaurant called “Dirt Candy.” Between 3 of us, we shared two bottles of prossecco over the course of 2 hours, and with a lot of food. We then went to dance the night away listening to Grandmaster Flash at a club in the Meatpacking district.
I haven’t danced so much in years! I drank 3 drinks at the club - gin and sparkling water with lemon.
Why am I sharing these details with you? I’m the Queen of Moderation - and here I am sharing how I drank MORE than I have in 3 years.
Why is this significant?
I’ve always wanted to be someone who could live with intention, who could give herself permission to do the things she had previously relied on alcohol for, who could learn how to manage stress and anxiety and self-doubt and sometimes self-loathing differently.
I wanted to be someone who could have a healthy relationship with alcohol.
My tipsy night out was so different than any other of the past.
Here’s why:
My best friend asked me what my intentions were for the evening.
We kept checking in with each other throughout the evening.
We stayed hydrated and drank lots of water.
I turned down many offers of drinks, making sure to not drink approximately more than 1 per hour.
The night was sandwiched between many other self-care activities that kept me grounded and in integrity, with myself. (If you haven’t yet read last week’s email “It’s my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to” read here)
I stopped at tipsy, which would have NEVER happened in the past.
I now know that in order to have a “free” night like I did last week, I have to make sure I’m taking care of myself - big time.
Otherwise I lose my strength, and alcohol’s power to convince me that it is the answer (because sometimes it is the easy answer) becomes all too tempting.
I ended last week with a retreat in Woodstock, upstate NY.
Nine empowered women, lavishing ourselves in sensual self-care, eating the most incredible plant-based food, a full-moon ritual around the bonfire, naked swimming and saunas in a salt water pool with not a drop of alcohol to be had all weekend. It was blissful perfection and the definition of self-love. I had no desire to keep the party going or any pull to slide back into old patterns.
This is both reassuring and incredibly liberating!
The past 2 weeks of birthday celebrations have proven to me that I can truly have it all.
I spent my times connecting with amazing entrepreneurs, health coaching for Ralph Lauren (!!), hosting an intimate evening with 10 beautiful women on the topic of Drink Less Be More and how to truly show up for ourselves and each other, attending a retreat, and partying like it was 1999 (or 2009, haha).
I proved to myself that I can have a successful professional life, a nourishing and intuitive nutrition plan, self-care that includes both dancing and sacred rituals, an unshakeable “centre,” new habits that have become unconscious (ie I don’t have to think so much about them) and so much more.
When I first started - I didn’t have a system.
I didn’t have a plan to follow.
I didn’t have anyone taking the initiative to check in about my intentions.
I was alone - me and my thoughts.
When I did talk to friends - it was more along the lines of “I don’t want to get too drunk tonight” - and it stopped there.
We didn’t yet know how to talk about the quality of experience we were looking for, how we wanted to feel during the night or the next day.
New York City used to equal Trigger City for me and I used to end work trips and conferences absolutely destroyed.
It took me several years to evolve to the place where I am now.
That is I’m so committed to sharing the Drink Less Be More Masterclass with you.
I want you to have the support that I longed for years ago.
I want you to have the tools and systems that I’ve developed to not only redefine your relationship to alcohol, but to change your entire life if you want to.
There are limited spots available in this next round and I won’t be offering it again until later next year.
Click here for the application and don't hesitate if you feel the timing is right.
If you have any questions, simply reply to this email and let me know.
xoxo
It's My Birthday And I'll Cry If I Want To
Crying tears of happiness, that is! I am seriously so grateful and full of love that it is squeezing out of me and dripping down my face.
This certainly wasn't always the case on my birthday.
Many are a blur, others ended up in horrific fights or missed days of work the next day that led to shame-filled meltdowns.
6 years ago we received numerous noise complaints at the hotel suite we rented, and the next day had to do the walk of shame, eyes shielded from the hot Cambodian sun and the piercing glare of other hotel guests as they loudly deplored us for "ruining their night"
5 years ago I woke up the day after my birthday with a giant goose egg on my forehead, from taking a head-dive directly onto the concrete
4 years ago I passed out after drinking too much absinthe
And just over 3 years ago, a few weeks before my 32nd birthday, I had that innocent girls night that turned into a wild one, where I woke up the next day and declared "I'm never getting drunk again"
I can't say that the next birthdays were all of a sudden amazing, simply because I wasn't wasted or getting blackout drunk
I was still trying to figure it out
I was also pregnant for one of those birthdays and so in my mind it "doesn't really count"
And now, I just turned 35 years old in in New York City.
Last week, I spent a full day doing health consultations at Ralph Lauren's HQ in Manhattan. I then relaxed in my friend's gorgeous apartment overlooking the east river.
I then headed to a luxe conference called Forefront, which is all about living the Rich Life. Rich in experiences, rich in relationships, rich in quality of life. I was be one of 500 who showed up ready to do the work to live a most fulfilling life. Ready to take charge of our lives and businesses and get clear on what a rich life means.
We met, we discussed and we learned from experts like Ramit Sethi (super online whiz and connector) and Daymond John (NYT bestselling author and one of the Sharks on Shark Tank - whose personal story is so inspiring and gave one of the best talks I’ve ever seen in my life!).
Friday night I danced at an open bar cocktail reception, with only a half glass of wine turned into a spritzer on my actual birthday. There's a video of my fake drunk dancing on Instagram which I think is pretty awesome. And here's a photo of a very bright eyed and satisfied me, back in my hotel room revelling my day.
The next night we were on a boat cruise on the Hudson river the breathtaking view of the Manhattan cityscape and the Lady Liberty beaming down at us. I also danced my ass off on the cruise. I had one gin and soda and after that I was pretty much oblivious to the copious amounts of alcohol flowing from the open bar (the only issue really was that I noticed how drunk other people seemed to need to be in order to allow themselves to have as much fun as I was having sober).
After the conference ended on Sunday, the conversation and connection continued with a lovely Italian dinner where I drank a glass of prosecco. We had planned to go out dancing but everyone seemed more content to spend time with each other in the hotel lobby.
There were definitely moments where I experienced a tad of FOMO (fear of missing out). Both Friday and Saturday night after the reception and boat cruise, the party train continued and I was invited to hop on.
Yet being sober and able to totally listen to my body, I realized how tired I was and that it wasn’t the best choice for me. It wasn’t always easy in the moment to say YES to my best yes, but as soon as I was tucked into bed with my tea and my oils, I was grateful. I certainly was grateful the next day when I bounded out of bed with energy and felt how easy it was to focus on the amazing content of the conference, while others were clearly nursing hangovers and rallying their energy just to be able to concentrate.
So yeah, tears of gratitude are streaming down my face. It is amazing to me how magical my life because once I truly got out of my own way and stopped sabotaging myself. While I had achieved a lot of external success before - I was misaligned and suffering on the inside.
I am so grateful that I have learned that there could be another way. Not only in living my life, but in my relationship to alcohol. Even when my drinking was at its worse, I intuitively knew that a life of total abstinence wasn't for me.
I now have an incredible and fulfilling career as a self-employed entrepreneur, a best-selling book, a house in Mexico and a precious family, and I can enjoy an occasional glass of wine or bubbly without obsessing about more or fear of spiralling out of control... all things that felt like a distant dream 5 years ago, when I literally crashed and burned my way out of my former career and life. This hasn’t all come “easy” - it’s been a ton of work and continues to be - yet as I realized this past week, I am already living a “rich life.”
I love how healthy, strong, clear and present I am now. I wouldn't trade that feeling for anything. I used to party my way through conferences and as a result, everything is a blur. Now I celebrate the quality connections, the energy I have, and most important, how comfortable I feel being me.
I also have tremendous love and compassion for the past Caitlin. The Caitlin that woke up banged and bruised, the Caitlin who loved to be the life of the party and was always the last one to leave, the Caitlin whose pain and shame stayed carefully buried behind booze and false bravado, the Caitlin who wanted to do better for herself but just couldn’t figure out how for so many years.
I love her. She is me and I wouldn’t be here, writing this email to you, if it weren’t for our journey.
I’ve also realized that me of today was always inside past Caitlin. I just wasn’t listening to her. I was afraid of her sometimes, afraid of what might change. Afraid of cracking open and afraid of truly changing.
Your ideal YOU is already inside of you too. You’ve heard her whispering to you. You’ve started listening, which is why you are reading these words right now.
One of the biggest lessons for me from the past few years was that it takes a village. I wouldn’t have been able to do this alone, and neither should you.
It was also one of the key takeaways for me from this weekend. It is so important to have a tribe, a group of people who see you, celebrate you, honour your dreams and desires, support you to keep moving through challenges, learning and growing.
That is why I’ve created the Drink Less Be More Masterclass.
Because if you keep doing the same thing, spending all your time with the same people, and yet expecting different results - well, that’s crazy making.
If you know you are stuck in a demoralizing cycle and you want to interrupt that pattern - this is for you.
If know how much more is possible for you if you could truly honour your ‘best yes’ - this is for you.
If you long for a tribe of women who really see you, love you and are there to lift you up - this is for you.
If you are ready to redefine your relationship to alcohol once and for all - this is definitely for you.
In fact, I know of no other experience like this out there. Which is why I created it. But don't just take it from me, here is some of what the first participants were saying:
“It's beautiful to work through this process in an environment with people who understand, have had their own ups and downs with alcohol and who don't judge.”
“This could be a life changing class for so many people. I loved how real you are Caitlin and the support of listening to the others in the class was priceless”
I am giving you the strategy, systems, community and support I wish I had had access to 5 years ago when I was slip sliding towards bottom, or even 3 years ago when I was finally trying to make some changes but had to figure it all out on my own.
The 6-week Drink Less Be More Masterclass includes the very best of what I’ve learned and implemented for myself and my clients over the past 3 years, including intentions, positive mindset and accountability, solid strategies that work for YOU, healthy habits/healthy impact, relationships/dating and intimacy, implementation and weekly personalized attention, support, and group calls.
This intimate group experience is by application only. Because I am so excited to share this resource with every woman who needs it at this moment in her life, I will be launching more broadly later this week when the sales page goes up. For now, I wanted to make sure you had the info to secure your spot asap.
Will you make this your year? Are you ready? If so, I’d love for you to join us!
xoxo
Brain Summit
Happy Monday !!
I have a question for you.
It might be one that you don't want to answer, but it's an important one nonetheless.
Do you ever wonder how healthy your brain is?
Or what damaged may have been caused by all of the drinking?
I know this what something that weighed heavily on me for years. All the blackouts, missed memories, brain cells flushed down the drain... it used to cause me a lot of stress and anxiety thinking about how much I may have messed up my brain.
Now, I've worked hard over the years to literally chance my mindset AND my mental health. A big part of that is getting informed and learning what I can do to improve my mental health - by what I eat, how well I sleep, what kind of thoughts I have, and more.
Taking action helps me feel empowered that I can control my current mental wellness and even reverse the effects of previous damage.
That's why I'm absolutely thrilled to be joining 30 other expects in brain performance and health for the first ever Female Brain Summit. The online event is completely free for you and packed with amazing info. The event starts today and interviews will be rolling out between now and the 10th. You don't want to miss this valuable content!
I also wanted to let you know about an amazing conversation I had with my friend Christine Hansen, who is the creator of "Sleep like a Boss" podcast.
I share a lot that I haven't shared on a podcast before, like how I was dependent on sleeping pills and using some in same dangerous combination as Heath Ledger when he died, how I used to brag about how little I slept (and why I find that totally unattractive now), and how it takes a lot of faith to create your "new normal."
This is also a topic that totally relates to your brain health - so why don't you start October with a bang and focus on your brain!! I can't wait to hear what you think of the summit and the podcast.
xoxo