stop living in the past - healing happens in the present


"Focusing on the past keeps us stuck exactly where we are in the present. In order for real healing to happen in the present, we must accept and connect to the past without letting it define us."

Every month we invite a different expert to share their knowledge with our Be More Membership group.

This month's guest expert was Marine Selenée, a psychologist and family constellations practitioner whom I met last time I was in NYC.

The call was so packed with useful insights that I took pages of notes!

Marine reminded us that it was our inner child who suffered, not us as adults, yet when we don't recognize the experience of the inner child, we unconsciously react as she would. When we can help our inner child feel at peace and soothed, we become able to control our reactions as adults instead of as a wounded child desperately looking for love (and doing whatever she can do avoid the loss of it).

Marine suggested a daily practice of 5 minutes spent writing or talking to your inner child to reminder her that she is love and appreciated for everything she did to get you to where you are today. Thank you and I've got this from here on in.

I asked my mom to send me pictures of myself at the age where I believe I really started to fear the loss of love and experience the effects of abandonment by my father. I've been looking at this picture and sending love to this innocent girl who so desperately wanted to be "enough" so that her father would stick around and really want to know her (not just her cute exterior). I've been telling her that I understand why for so many years after she kept resorting to physical attention as a substitute for self-love, and why she sought out codependent relationships from fear of being left.

We also learned of a powerful exercise in which we can give the family dynamics back to our ancestors. By starting a letter to our ancestors with the theme of "Today I give it back to you..." means you are acknowledging and affirming that family patterns did not start with your, but they can end with you.

There were so many more amazing and insightful topics we covered in terms of family systems and how to navigate the complex relationships we have within our families.

If you'd like to learn more about Marine and her work, please visit her website. She has an upcoming course all about family constellations and a great book called The Movement, which I am gifting to all of our current Be More Be Members.

If YOU would like to hear the entire replay for of her call with us, as well as the other guest expert calls AND monthly coaching call, join the Be More Membership for only $47/month. If you join this week, I'll send you a copy of Marine's book too! More info on how to join below.


A Super Cool Exchange and Some Cinco de Mayo Inspo (this one's a little different)

Hello lovely,

I’m just back from a much needed little mini-vacation to Oaxaca City. I have SO MUCH I can’t wait to share - thoughts on radical honesty, self-love, presence, self-accountability, slowing down, art, a new retreat in the works and so much more. I’m processing a lot and look forward to sharing these thoughts with you soon.

I’ve also had a series of posts brewing inside of me on the difference between moderate and mindful drinking.

I’ve come to realize that so much of what we do here is about WAY MORE than simply learning to moderate.

We go WAY DEEPER than talking about strategies and dive into the mindset, healing, and major lifestyle changes.

To kick off this series on Mindful drinking, I have something really cool and a little different to share.

First, a question that a reader sent me about finding a strategy for mindful drinking - that really works.

“I know people who are looking at me from the outside, aren't thinking I have a drinking problem.... many of my friends I've opened up to say, I had no idea!  And that's the thing... I don't get wasted alone or anything, it's always the occasional blackout WITH my friends which makes me feel so ashamed and regretful. I HATE browning/blacking out. That's NOT the point of drinking... But sometimes, when I'm with friends and they keep going, I want to keep going too... and I just 'forget' to think of the bigger picture and KNOW my limits.

How did you finally find your strategy that WORKS for you.... how did you have the self-control to HOLD yourself to the limits?”

I responded to her and told her I’d be writing a newsletter/blog on the topic and also encouraged her to post her question in the Facebook group (have you joined? If not, info on how to is at the end of this email)

One of the responses from one of our community members just blew me away, and I decided to share her words instead of mine this week.

It’s a powerful testimony to how to make the “Drink Less, Be More” philosophy of mindful drinking work for you.

When I first spoke with Aoife almost 3 years ago, we were both in tears during the initial consultation. She had almost given up hope that change was possible for her. I encouraged her to have faith and trust that a new life was available to her. She later became my most amazing copy editor for the book Drink Less Be More and an active participant in the beta group of the “Drink Less Be More Masterclass” (which will launch again in June - stay tuned!)

Here’s what Aoife had to say about her commitment to mindful drinking:

  1. I made a concrete decision to change - no matter what - and prioritized this.

  2. ​You [the reader] spoke about a feeling of sometimes not caring and just wanting to let loose - I felt that a lot. What I did is I changed "let loose" to "self-soothe". There are more ways to let loose than through alcohol, that's just the most obvious one. Now is the perfect time to find others. Often I noticed that when I thought I "needed a drink" I was really needing soothing or reassuring or something else. Sometimes self-soothing involved listening to loud rock music and watching an action movie and sometimes it involved baking or knitting. I say be willing to broaden your definition of "letting loose" and experiment with things that are healthier for you.

  3. I never drink when I am in an emotional mood (e.g. elated, down or angry). EVER. That was when I was more prone to make poor choices before so I only drink when I am in a grounded place.

  4. Know the times, places and people you need to be careful around in relation to drinking. Prepare in advance for being in those situations or with those people and support yourself. Pub drinking was my danger zone and certain friends would really pressure me to drink. I still go to pubs occasionally but I won't drink in pubs (I prefer to have a drink with food or in homes of friends and family) and I have certain friends I just won't drink with.

  5. I planned when I was going to drink and how much. The "in the moment" drinking so often led me down a dark/dangerous/blackout path. At first, I needed to be really controlled about planning in advance. I'd decide in advance "I'll be out at lunch on Saturday, if I feel like a red wine, I'll have one." When I was going on holiday I planned in advance to have one drink each day. Planning in advance also built my self-belief around having control over drinking. Now I am confident I can make an "in the moment" decision (but I will still only have a drink if I'm in a safe place, with appropriate people, in a calm mood, not in a pub etc.)

  6. When you are having a drink, sip and savor. Really enjoy it. Also, if it helps, make your next drink non-alcoholic and totally different in taste, flavor or temperature. I might enjoy a glass of wine and then have a tea. Don't know why, but that helped me "draw a line" under the drinking part when I was starting to moderate and now I do it from habit.

  7. Lastly when you decide to change that means that things WILL change - and not only habits, but it's likely that you will change as a person - your priorities, your idea of what is fun etc. It can take a while to find your feet with this new way of being, but after a little while momentum builds and it gets easier. Other peoples perceptions and expectations of you change too. For so long I was "party girl", the one who could always be relied on for a night of drinking. It took a while for the people around me to accept that I wasn't going to be drinking to obliteration anymore. Now that they accept this, I can be out with them and not drink and it's not even mentioned anymore!

The last thing is just that for me, these changes have been soooo worth it! I have so much more money, energy, creativity. I feel like I can trust myself. I feel proud of myself instead of ashamed (as I so often was). So much of my time, energy and brainpower was locked up with alcohol. Now it's gorgeous to be able to have a drink if I want one but not to need it anymore, to feel social or relax or feel part of a crowd. Now my self-identity is of someone who has a healthy relationship with alcohol and that "pull" that used to be there to drink before just isn't there anymore. It took a bit of work to get to a place I am happy with, but it's so worth it.

I totally trust that you will find out what is best for you and I'm absolutely cheering you on in your journey. Let me know if I can help in any way.”

I hope that Aoife’s share was helpful for you to read!

If you have a specific question about mindful drinking - let me know!! I’d love to feature your question in an upcoming post on the topic.

If you liked hearing from a community member, also let me know! I can see how we can continue to share more features and success stories.

Make sure to keep reading for a yummy mock margarita recipe and tips for getting through cinco de mayo mindfully.



Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Here is the perfect margarita mocktail mix to celebrate with mindfulness. Just mix together, garnish your drink rim (optional) and enjoy! If you have plans to go out tonight, remember to set you intentions BEFORE you head out. Think about how you want to feel during and at the end of the night, and work backwards from there. If possible, share your intentions with a friend, your significant other, or in the Facebook group! Of course, there's nothing wrong with opting out of the festivities and enjoying a mocktail at home - which is what I plan on doing!!


  •  ¼ cup lime juice

  • ¼ cup lemon flavored sparking water

  • ¼ cup lime flavored sparkling water

  • ¼ cup orange juice

  • Agave syrup (optional/to taste)

  • ice

  • Optional: salt & lime to garnish

Brain Summit

Happy Monday !!

I have a question for you.

It might be one that you don't want to answer, but it's an important one nonetheless.

Do you ever wonder how healthy your brain is?
Or what damaged may have been caused by all of the drinking?

I know this what something that weighed heavily on me for years. All the blackouts, missed memories, brain cells flushed down the drain... it used to cause me a lot of stress and anxiety thinking about how much I may have messed up my brain.

Now, I've worked hard over the years to literally chance my mindset AND my mental health. A big part of that is getting informed and learning what I can do to improve my mental health - by what I eat, how well I sleep, what kind of thoughts I have, and more.

Taking action helps me feel empowered that I can control my current mental wellness and even reverse the effects of previous damage.

That's why I'm absolutely thrilled to be joining 30 other expects in brain performance and health for the first ever Female Brain Summit. The online event is completely free for you and packed with amazing info. The event starts today and interviews will be rolling out between now and the 10th. You don't want to miss this valuable content!

I also wanted to let you know about an amazing conversation I had with my friend Christine Hansen, who is the creator of "Sleep like a Boss" podcast.

I share a lot that I haven't shared on a podcast before, like how I was dependent on sleeping pills and using some in same dangerous combination as Heath Ledger when he died, how I used to brag about how little I slept (and why I find that totally unattractive now), and how it takes a lot of faith to create your "new normal."

This is also a topic that totally relates to your brain health - so why don't you start October with a bang and focus on your brain!! I can't wait to hear what you think of the summit and the podcast.


Top 5 lessons learned

Happy weekend!

As you may have read in Monday's update, It's been three years since I stopped drinking to get drunk, to escape, disappear, numb out, etc...

Yesterday I recorded a video call that highlight's the top 5 lessons learned from my last 3 years, and they might come as a surprise to you.

Topics I cover include:
- Why I couldn't make any significant change until I created a positive vision for myself
- How mindfulness begets mindlessness (aka why you first need to think more in order to not have to think about alcohol so much in the future)
- It gets harder before it gets easier!! (something that definitely came as a shocker to me)
- Why truly facing the fear is so completely freeing
- I could never have done this alone (and neither should you)
- A special invitation for YOU

The video is only 35 minutes long, and I recommend you watch the whole thing for the lessons I learned along this journey, but in case you are dying to know that the special invitation is - drumroll please....

We are launching our first official Drink Less Be More Group Program!!

I am SO excited.

The reviews from the participants beta course in the spring were amazing, and we all learned a lot.

We've been incorporating the feedback and fine-tuning to make a super valuable, high impact, actionable, and incredibly supportive 6 week program, which will launch in the beginning of November.

As we are putting the finishing touches on the program, I want to hear from YOU!

Are you interested in joining a group program? If yes, what would you like to experience or learn from a group program? What kind of support or information would be helpful to you?

It would be amazing if you could reply to this email and let me know!! I'm really looking forward to your feedback.



One of the secrets to deeper intimacy and better sex.

As you know, I'm supposed to be off the grid on a camping trip.

Well, I still am (I have no cell reception at my campsite, it's the best) but I was too excited to leave this for another few days.

So I escaped into civilizations (aka a cute coffeeshop called Rhino in downtown Tofino) to send this email. Last week I had a super juicy conversation with James Swanwick, all about the benefits of dating without alcohol. And while you know I'm the Queen of Moderation, I do think there's a lot of be said for first dates without alcohol.


Well, your BS detector will be more tuned in, you'll be able to connect with your intuition and decide more quickly it he or she is a HELL YEAH (cause if it's a hell no, or even a "so so" ... do you really want things to go farther?)

You also can judge a lot about a person's character when you decide not to have a drink on a first date.

Do they pressure you to have one? Do they respect your choice?

While you may not be deciding to live completely alcohol-free, it's great to have someone in your life who is supportive of your health and wellness from the get-go.

And then there's sex... some might say that sober sex is the best sex (what do you think?). A couple of drinks can help lower inhibitions, but any more than that actually restricts blood flow to the exact parts of you body you want to be feeling more and well, you probably know what that means. I'm going to go deeper into this topic in an upcoming blog, but I wanted to give you a chance to listen to this podcast and weigh in.

Let me know your thoughts! I look forward to reading them and answering any questions you have in my next blog on this topic.


Corporate Queen

Yesterday was the last class of the Drink Less Be More Masterclass (my new, signature group program - don't worry if you missed it, it will be offered again in September!)

We spent a good portion of the class talking about the idea of PERMISSION.

For many of us, we use alcohol to give ourselves permission.
Permission to relax, do nothing, be playful, indulge, forget out responsibilities for the evening, turn off our busy brains, enjoy, be naughty, prioritize pleasure... you fill in the blank.

I used to feel guilty taking time off, reading trashy magazines just because, watching something that wasn't educational or focused on self-development, eat carbs or fat (this was before I learned that neither of these things are evil). I used to push myself so hard that I needed to literally black out or lose myself to alcohol to turn off or unwind, or I'd go home to visit my family and fall over sick and burnt out.

A large part of learning to redefine your relationship to alcohol and Drink Less in the long-term is learning how to give yourself permission to __________ (again, you fill in the blank) WITHOUT alcohol!

This is such an important topic and one that I was so grateful to have the opportunity to discuss with Meg Sullivan, of Whole Foods Love. The interview is part of an online summit called Slim and Chic Corporate Queen - and the themes we covered are so relevant to everyone who is a part of this community (whether you are in corporate or not)!

We also talked about:
- How prevalent is it that women drink to wind down
- Making the mental shift to take care of ourselves
- The physiological side of alcohol and the effects that it has on the body
- Strategies for accountability with this sensitive subject

The interview airs this Sunday, June 5th! Make sure to sign up here to be able to listen. You will also have access to 25+ other experts as part of this virtual summit who sharing their wisdom and experience to support women like you to reach their health and wellness goals.

Discover tips, tricks and strategies that will show you how to:

  • Drop those extra 20 lbs you’ve been wanting to lose for as long as you can remember.

  • Survive the unpredictable ups and downs of corporate life and still stay happily on track with your life and health goals.

  • Improve the quality of your sleep so you wake feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day each morning.

  • Make the best food choice possible, whatever situation you find yourself in.

  • Carve much needed time out of your schedule for your own self-care.

  • Create space in your life for things you love doing “just because”.

It is so important for me to see women THRIVE in ALL aspects of their lives, not only by redefining their relationship to alcohol. That is why I am so honoured to have been included in this summit and that I have these tickets to share with you so that you can holistically make changes to your lifestyle while also continuing to get a handle on the alcohol.

Make sure to sign up asap so that you don't miss this weekend's interview. I also want to know - what is one way (in addition to signing up for this summit and listening to the value-packed interviews) that you can give yourself permission (without needing alcohol to do so) this weekend? Make sure to reply to this email and let me know. Why? Because I really do want to know! AND writing it out is a good first step for making it a reality!


Badass And Bare

Hey - it's juicy Tuesday !!

(Funny story, I used to claim the day as "Trashy Tuesdays" because when I went out to party on Tuesdays it showed how "hard-core" I was and somehow owning my trashiness was like a of badge of honour... or maybe a defence mechanism? But that's a story for another day ;)

I am so thrilled to share my latest podcast interview with the ladies from Badass and Bare.

I met Katie Corcoran after semi-stalking her Instagram (she's also grad of the same health coaching program I attended) and we became fast friends. So much so that she invited me to stay her place in Brooklyn even though we'd never met in person! I then met Andrea Hood, the co-creator and co-host of Badass & Bare while she was attending one of the same events I was attending in NYC, and we all bonded. (FYI - their podcast was listed as "New and Noteworthy" by iTunes shortly after launching!)

One, two skip and few and here we are with this amazing episode!


We had an amazing conversation that spans the following topics:

  • The distinction between habitual use with alcohol vs. addiction

  • How to re-define your relationship with alcohol

  • TIPS for delicious (& easy!) alternatives for alcohol (even when you’re out on the town!)

  • How you can still be a PARTY GIRL without the booze

  • Why SELF-CARE is key for having a healthy relationship with alcohol

  • How-to change your PREGAME when getting ready to go out

I'm looking forward to hearing your top takeaways from this episode. Let the ladies at B&B what you think of the episode -they'll appreciate the comments and ratings! And finally, please share this with other badasses in your life who would love this convo.



Leading Greatly Podcast, Live Tv, Memorial Day Mocktails

A lot happening over here at the Drink Less Be More HQ!! I've just arrived back to Mexico after a whirlwind media tour of the North East. I definitely packed more onto my plate than I probably "should" have (trying to take advantage of the week away - and there will be most exciting updates coming soon!) though unfortunately I over-extended myself and got sick somewhere between NYC and Pittsburgh.

Thankfully, I am surrounded by the most amazing healers and coaches who took great care of me along the way. I am also so much better at taking care of myself! What would have surely turned into a lung infection and knocked me out in the past passed in only a few days with the help of extra sleep, oregano oil, zinc, tons of vitamins and fresh juices, and oodles of self-love and compassion.

I wanted to share several highlights from last week with you  - for your listening, viewing, reading and tasting pleasure! Below you will find my most recent article on Mind Body Green with some of my favourite summer cocktails and a podcast interview with the wonderful ladies at Leading Greatly.

Here is the clip from my live morning television appearance talking about Drink Less Be More and alternatives to alcohol. Enjoy!!


MBG Article And One Voice

Happy Wednesday !!

I'm in your inbox a couple of days early because I couldn't wait to share these two goodies that went live today. The first is a podcast interview with my friend Tina Bangel, who is a vocal coach from Australia. I LOVED this interview because we delved into the really interesting terrain of creativity and alcohol.


Here is what we talk about:

  • What are strategies that creative people can tap into their “zone” without having to turn to alcohol?

  • How to deal with friends or letting go of people that don’t serve your purpose in life, what would you say to someone who is afraid to let go of what they know and who they know?

  • Dialog that people can use at the work place or events so they can feel comfortable in situations where they are encouraged to drink?

  • There are people who use alcohol to unwind after work or a gig, what I suggest for people to do when they have the urge to use alcohol.

  • What is the song that changed my life and why?

Be sure to check it out here.

The second resource I want to share with you is my most recent article on Mind Body Green. In this article, I offer my best tips for thriving without/with less alcohol when you are in triggering situations or out of your normal routine. This article is particularly helpful if you have a trip coming up or travel regularly for work, however the tips can be useful any time. As always, please share the article with anyone who might benefit from this article, and on social media! And, I'd love to hear which tip you are going to try or if there are others that you have used with success (I'm always happy to learn new tricks)! Hit reply and let me know :)


Success Interview

Hello beautiful!

I thought you might enjoy this 26-minute video interview I did with Monica Aparicio, the Founder of the Lifestyle Lounge and upcoming Sustainable Success event that I will be speaking at in NYC.

Monica and I met when I attended a networking event the last time I was in New York. A self-professed former party-girl, Monica immediately "got" the message of my book. She opened up about how coordinating happy-hour styled wellness events was her way of satisfying her outgoing nature while still making healthier choices for herself. We immediately knew that we have been meant to meet and collaborate and I am so thrilled about both this conversation AND the fact that I will be featured as a panelist at her upcoming event in NYC.

I loved this interview because we were able to get to a theme that goes deeper then the strategies and tips around drinking less. We were able to talk about what happens when you dramatically redefine your relationship to alcohol... you make more of yourself available! More intuition, more inner knowing, more inspiration, more feelings, more presence for yourself and those around you.

You live more LIFE ... undiluted. I'd love to hear what you think about this video and how have you noticed the "more of you" theme in your life. Or, if you are not quite there yet - which parts of yourself do you desire to have more access to once you are able to redefine your relationship to alcohol?

If you'd like to know more about the event in New York or know someone who would love to go, all of the information is here.