Supercharge September - Let's Do This

For the past two years since launching my business, I've held some variation of a "supercharge September" initiative. Usually, it has been discounted and shorter opportunities to work with me 1-1.

But since my 1-1 roster is still full (I will have a couple of spots opening up later in September, more on that below) - I've decided to try something new this year! This September, I'll be leading a 21-day Supercharge September Challenge.

It's FREE for our community members and starts on September 5th. If you're already a part of our super secret and supportive Facebook community, then you don't need to do a thing.

If you'd like to join, reply to this email and let know why you'd like to supercharge September and what you hope to get out of this challenge.

This will be an opportunity to:
- set clear intentions for September and the rest of the year
- redefine your relationship to alcohol with the support of like-minded women (whatever that looks like to you, you can try a sober September or try moderation - it's totally up to you!!
- get on track with daily habits such as a solid morning and evening routine, a new nutrition plan, better sleep, etc
- meet and share with amazing women - listen to livestreams on relevant topics
- participate in a kick-off webinar Tuesday, September 6th with a Q&A
- and much more!!

Again, all of this is FREE!!

All you need to do is reply to this email and tell me why you want to participate (after all, it all starts with getting clarity on your intentions) and you'll be added to the group.

If you know that you'd also like 1-1 support to create powerful change, I do have a few spots opening up in September. Here's what Eileen said after just 2 months of coaching with me:

"I am really enjoying working with you. You are making me see things in my own behavior that no one else has been able to. I feel less a lot less guilt, too. Your approach about being kinder to myself has been a big win for me. I've noticed my confidence growing and actually WANTING to spend time doing healthier things vs. feeling like I CAN'T drink. It's been a much more positive spin and I don't feel rebellious at all, like I did before. I think I've done everything everyone else thought I should do for my whole life, and now I'm making my own choices. By doing this, I feel much less like I want to escape."

As you know, I love love looooooove my work with 1-1 clients. I wish I could work with EVERYONE who wants this kind of support however, because of the time and energy required to fully show up and help someone make such a massive change in their lives, I can only accept a small number of private clients at a time.

If you are interested in working with me before the New Year, I would encourage you to set up a time to chat to see if it's a good fit for you. Once the 2 spots available are filled, I will not be accepting new clients until next year.

Now there's no excuse to make this month and the rest of the year amazing!!

Don't forget to let me know if you want to join the September Challenge or set up a strategy session to see if we're a good fit for 1-1 work together.


Weekly Round Up

I had my first article published in the Huffington Post (more on that later) and another meaningful article on what it means to be a highly sensitive person (and how to shine in stressful social situations without resorting to alcohol) went live on Mind Body Green. The tips in the article are helpful for anyone who experiences social anxiety. Check it out!

I also had the immense fortune to be a small group training call with Lisa Nichols, founder of Motivating the Masses, best selling author of Abundance Now and No Matter What, regular guest on Oprah and featured expert in The Secret.

Holy WOW. I had listened to recorded webinars with her before and was blown away. But the chance to hear from her live, have her say my name and interact myself and the 50 other blessed women on the call with her? LIFE-CHANGING!! We were so moved, shed tears, released fears and doubled over in laughter during the 1 hour and 15 minutes we spent with her.

I wanted to share some of my biggest take-aways with you! Whenever you are at right now, I can assure you that at least one of these will hit home.

1) "We are built for the journey." Know that. Repeat it to yourself. Have faith. You are made for this, whatever "this" is. Have faith, and tenacity and you will succeed.

2) "You will never be given a desire in your heart that you do not have the means to fulfill" When the going gets tough, remind yourself of this. If you can dream it, you CAN make it a reality.

3) "Other people's perceptions of you ain't none of your business" People will always have an opinion, but the more time you spend in other peoples heads, the less time and energy you have for yourself. Don't spend another day worrying about what others think. You only have one chance to "do you." YOU ARE AN UNREPEATABLE MIRACLE.

4) "Be willing to do it afraid." Change is scary, I get it. Not knowing what's going to happen next can be unsettling. Commit and be willing to do it anyways.

5) "Love the unloveable in yourself." Stop shit talking yourself. Do whatever you can to change that story. As Lisa says, she grew up dirt poor, was abused and overweight. Once she started loving the parts she had previously believed to be unlovable, her life began to change dramatically. She loved the fattest parts of herself, the parts she thought were the most damaged and unworthy. She actively worked on this every single day. She stopped talking shit, became kind and compassionate, even when it was hard. She says "fall madly in love with yourself and everything else will fall into place."

6) Make a non-negotiable short list. These are 4-6 things you do to refuel yourself. These are scheduled and planned out with the same priority as your other commitments.

7) "A healthy NO is an important as a scared YES." Think about that. Is it an all-in hell yeah? If not, then practice saying no. As Lisa says, "no is a complete sentence."

I had so many take-aways from this call and I hope some of these takeaways come at the right time for you as well. Please respond to this email and let me know which one of these spoke to you.

I know I still really struggle with what others think - and sometimes hold back because of this. In fact, I wrote After 15 years as a blackout drinker, I finally learned how to enjoy a single glass of wine months ago, then published it last week and two minutes later unpublished it, then thought about it for another week until I had the courage to post it.

It's my first post for The Huffington Post and I probably could have picked an easier topic to share. Yet - this is the story that needed to be told. That doesn't make it easier though! I would really appreciate any comments, likes or shares. I'd love for Arianna to see this post before she leaves the Huff ;)

I'm heading off the grid to an island without electricity for 3 days. I look forward to reading your takeaways from Lisa's tips and either of the articles when I get back on Monday. Feel free to ask me any questions you have about the content as well.

Have a beautiful weekend!


Super Simple Strategies For Moderation


How are you? I spend a lot of time talking about mindset and the internal work necessary to redefine your relationship to alcohol over the long term.

Yet sometimes, it's the simple strategies that really help in the moment or when planning an evening out. I've had a few clients have "aha" moments recently when we discussed simple strategies that they could use to cut back on alcohol.

Here are some of the tips that are often overlooked but are great ways to cut back.

Half it: It might seem obvious but pouring less alcohol and sipping it at the same pace you would if you were drinking a whole serving. Pouring half glasses can also help trick your mind into thinking that you are drinking more ie 3 half glasses vs 1.5 glasses. The main thing here is to make sure you are keeping track, and set an intention just as you would normally do. If you are in a situation where you may have alcohol poured for you, it's important to speak up about serving size.

Add water/ice: Adding sparkling water, plain water and/or lots of ice can help dilute alcohol. I remember when I lived in Cambodia and it was common there to put ice cubes in white wine or beer. At first I couldn't believe it, but then I came to like it. It was refreshing and certainly slowed down the rate I was consuming those drinks. In Mexico, even red wine is served chilled. Fruit juice, iced herbal teas, fruit, sparkling water, and/or ice can be added to make a light and healthier sangria type drink. The key is not to drink MORE of these (because they may go down easier!) and stick to your intended number of drink.

Alternate: But not just with water, which can feel boring and less enticing. Order a delicious mocktail or have flavoured sparkling water on hand. Make mocktails to bring to BBQs or parties. A friend of mine came over for dinner the other night and she brought both kombucha and white wine. The kombucha was so delicious and satisfying that I barely thought about the wine. Try drinking your alternative AT THE SAME time, and try new flavour pairings. Play with it!

If you haven't yet read Drink Less Be More, there are two whole chapters on strategies.

I'd love to hear which one is your favourite or if you have another that I haven't mentioned yet.

I hope you have a beautiful weekend,


The most important ingredient for sober (or soberish) sex.

As promised last week, here’s a sexy blog post for you!!

While I really enjoyed my conversation with James Swanwick about sober dating and sex - I also felt that we didn’t really go deep - especially when we got to the sex part. (If you haven’t listened yet - you can catch it here).

For most women I know, it’s not so easy and “just do it!!” Especially when alcohol and intimacy have been so intertwined for many years, if not most of our lives.

So while James was waxing poetic about how much better you’ll look naked once you stop drinking, I was thinking to myself, “yeah, but it took me awhile to FEEL better naked.”

In my book, Drink Less Be More, I devote an entire chapter to sex and dating, when in reality - it could be an entire book because the topic is so nuanced.

Until very recently, alcohol and intimacy and sex were always inextricably linked, as were my relationships.

I’m a passionate lover, and I mean that in all senses.

I often fell quickly and deeply into the people I was dating.

During my 20s, was in three serious relationships… each in fairly quick succession to the other.  Engaged to one of them, and married to the third, and then on road to divorce, all before age 28.

Looking back, these relationships may have resembled more of collision spinning out of control on a crash course, but I didn’t see it that way at the time.

Not surprisingly, I met all of my partners at the bar (not at the same bar, but might as well have been). Also not a shocker, all loved to drink, and consumed the same or even more copious amounts of alcohol than what I did.

Edit - my first serious “adult” relationship was with someone who wasn’t a drinker. I did meet him at a bar but marijuana was his drug of choice. Remember Dido’s song “Stoned?” That could have been our anthem.

When you're stoned, baby, I am drunk

And we make love, it seems a little desolate

It's hard sometimes not to look away

And think what's the point when I'm having to hold this fire down

I think I'll explode if I can't feel this freely now

And that is very much how I felt. Alcohol brought me the release and freedom I craved. When I was drunk, I could turn off my brain, let my over-drive ambition take a back seat, and tell my self-loathing to shut up for awhile.

I felt free. I felt sexy. I felt lovable.

I was able to be possessed by another person in a way that was too damn scary if I was sober.

I needed to feel in control of everything.

Drinking allowed me to release my fear and gave permission to my desires.

The double edged sword is the fact that while a few drinks can lower inhibitions and help you along with a dose of liquid courage and passion… too many has the opposite effect. It starts to numb, you may start to disassociate and it’s harder to orgasm.

I realized the profound difference when my current partner and I had sex for the first time, sober. I had had sober sex with my exes but it was usually after and in-between a lot of drunk sex. (This was the first time I was having sex with someone for the first time without the aid of alcohol to “get me there.”)

I could go into all of the cliche descriptors of how it felt and how different it was - you’ve read them before and they all apply here. My senses were heightened, every subtle touch sent shivers through my whole body, my pleasure soared to new heights.

It was like how I always had thought it should be (thank you Hollywood) but never was.

You might be wondering - how did I get from sloppy sex to this kind of exquisite sensuality?

It wasn’t overnight.

It involved a lot of self-love and healing.

Remember, at my very core for many years was a feeling of unlovability and unworthiness.

If I still held those beliefs, it would have been difficult for me to be open and receive. To let my guard down and feel. To allow myself to be truly seen without the false bravado brought on by alcohol.

I had worked with healers who did energy work with the chakras, and I focused on the 1st and second, where I knew I needed healing. I had attended several retreats that focused on pleasure, and shared the teachings of Mama Gena’s School of the Womanly Arts. I had seen a somatic therapist, who helped me get out of my head and into my body (she also, consequently, was the first professional to gently questioned my relationship to alcohol and encouraged me to take a break for awhile.)

I made a decision, deep down, that I deserved more. I was ready for a different kind of intimacy, one that required both vulnerability and strength - and at it’s core - authenticity.

So when my clients and community ask me about dating, sex and intimacy (without or with much less alcohol), there’s often not an easy answer.

It takes time.

But first and foremost, it takes love. The kind you lavish on yourself and nurture from within, rather than desperately seeking from another.

Instead of focusing on where the meet the new person of your dreams, fall in love with yourself. Romance yourself, take yourself on dates, get to know yourself. Learn what pleasure feels like to you, allow yourself to dream and to fantasize. If you are ready this and thinking “huh??” than that’s a good indicator that there is a lot of exploring for you to do in this area of your life.

Do this first.

Your ability to attract an energetic match and someone who truly honours and see you, and whom you never feel you have to hide from, will increase.

If you have any questions about this topic, please do not hesitate to reach out.

I know it’s tricky terrain and I am honoured whenever I can provide support and insight on this topic.


Ps. I feel that I should be completely transparent. This journey is on-going for me too. After having a baby, experiencing big changes to my body, and some issues in my relationship, I feel as though I am having to re-learn intimacy again!! And it’s so tempting to hit that bottle of red wine to ease back into it. So trust me when I say - I GET IT! We’re in this together :)

One of the secrets to deeper intimacy and better sex.

As you know, I'm supposed to be off the grid on a camping trip.

Well, I still am (I have no cell reception at my campsite, it's the best) but I was too excited to leave this for another few days.

So I escaped into civilizations (aka a cute coffeeshop called Rhino in downtown Tofino) to send this email. Last week I had a super juicy conversation with James Swanwick, all about the benefits of dating without alcohol. And while you know I'm the Queen of Moderation, I do think there's a lot of be said for first dates without alcohol.


Well, your BS detector will be more tuned in, you'll be able to connect with your intuition and decide more quickly it he or she is a HELL YEAH (cause if it's a hell no, or even a "so so" ... do you really want things to go farther?)

You also can judge a lot about a person's character when you decide not to have a drink on a first date.

Do they pressure you to have one? Do they respect your choice?

While you may not be deciding to live completely alcohol-free, it's great to have someone in your life who is supportive of your health and wellness from the get-go.

And then there's sex... some might say that sober sex is the best sex (what do you think?). A couple of drinks can help lower inhibitions, but any more than that actually restricts blood flow to the exact parts of you body you want to be feeling more and well, you probably know what that means. I'm going to go deeper into this topic in an upcoming blog, but I wanted to give you a chance to listen to this podcast and weigh in.

Let me know your thoughts! I look forward to reading them and answering any questions you have in my next blog on this topic.


Gone Camping


It's August 1 today. I'm writing today with a message of inspiration and also to let you know where I'll be this week (and why you won't be hearing from me on Friday. As you've probably heard me say before, I don't automate my emails... which means they are always sent in real time). My family and I are going camping off the West Coast of Canada and our campsite will be tucked in the tree line of this beach.


I'm going to try to disconnect as much as possible and refrain from checking my phone, Facebook, Instagram and email. This is RARE for me. I'm bringing a stack of books that have been on my reading list for months, and pens and notebook. I'm looking forward to lazy afternoons and napping with my daughter, walks on the beaches and sand dunes of the wild WestCoast, quality time with family and campfires.

So while some of you may find this inspiring, my camping trip is not the reason for this email. ;)

I'm writing to encourage you to START NOW.

July and August are often considered months of excess and indulgence - which isn't really a bad thing if that's what you've been looking forward to.

Where it becomes tricky is when you fall so far off track that you're feeling pretty crappy.

Poor quality of sleep, lethargy, bloat, bletch feeling, lack of exercise, maybe even a few extra pounds from all of those liquid calories etc. Sound familiar?

You vow you'll get back on track... in September. September you'll set new intentions, and stick to them.

But why wait?

Why not pick one thing and try it now? Ease into that change you know you'll want to make with the change of seasons.

I'll give you a couple of examples.

One of my clients decided not to wait until September to take a month off of booze - she's starting today.

Another client decided to beat her personal record of AFDs (Alcohol free days) and set the intention for 21 AFDs for the month of August.

And another client is trying out new kinds of fitness, including belly dance and burlesque, and she's trying them out this month.

I've set my intention for no refined sugar for the whole month and zero alcohol for the first two weeks of August. Now that I have reset my internal clock and am able to wake up much earlier, I'm also sticking with my sunrise meditations and will be adding in daily writing again. Even though I'm heading on vacation, I am really looking forward to feeling clear and creative.

So what's something you could try this month?

How can you start to set powerful intentions for the final quarter of 2016 - now?

Finally, today is my father's birthday. He's 72 and he's spent the past 31 years sober. I don't share a lot of about my family out of respect for their privacy - yet today I feel so strongly that I need to recognize a man who inspires me daily with his commitment to "doing the work."

Whether your path is moderation or abstinence, redefining your relationship to alcohol isn't always easy. In fact, as one new client just wrote to me, "this is a lot harder than I thought it would be!"

We humans are hardwired to love what's easy, safe and comfortable. Challenging ourselves to feel deeply, to show up fully, and to live honestly often feels like the exact opposite. Yet, as anyone who has been on this path for awhile will tell you - it is a million times more fulfilling than the alternative.

Please do write to me and let me know your intentions for August. Writing down your intentions helps solidify them and sharing them helps with accountability. I'll look forward to reading them when I return at the end of this week.