Recipe

Hello lovely,

I’m just back from a much needed little mini-vacation to Oaxaca City. I have SO MUCH I can’t wait to share - thoughts on radical honesty, self-love, presence, self-accountability, slowing down, art, a new retreat in the works and so much more. I’m processing a lot and look forward to sharing these thoughts with you soon.

I’ve also had a series of posts brewing inside of me on the difference between moderate and mindful drinking.

I’ve come to realize that so much of what we do here is about WAY MORE than simply learning to moderate.

We go WAY DEEPER than talking about strategies and dive into the mindset, healing, and major lifestyle changes.

To kick off this series on Mindful drinking, I have something really cool and a little different to share.

First, a question that a reader sent me about finding a strategy for mindful drinking - that really works.

“I know people who are looking at me from the outside, aren't thinking I have a drinking problem.... many of my friends I've opened up to say, I had no idea!  And that's the thing... I don't get wasted alone or anything, it's always the occasional blackout WITH my friends which makes me feel so ashamed and regretful. I HATE browning/blacking out. That's NOT the point of drinking... But sometimes, when I'm with friends and they keep going, I want to keep going too... and I just 'forget' to think of the bigger picture and KNOW my limits.

How did you finally find your strategy that WORKS for you.... how did you have the self-control to HOLD yourself to the limits?”

I responded to her and told her I’d be writing a newsletter/blog on the topic and also encouraged her to post her question in the Facebook group (have you joined? If not, info on how to is at the end of this email)

One of the responses from one of our community members just blew me away, and I decided to share her words instead of mine this week.

It’s a powerful testimony to how to make the “Drink Less, Be More” philosophy of mindful drinking work for you.

When I first spoke with Aoife almost 3 years ago, we were both in tears during the initial consultation. She had almost given up hope that change was possible for her. I encouraged her to have faith and trust that a new life was available to her. She later became my most amazing copy editor for the book Drink Less Be More and an active participant in the beta group of the “Drink Less Be More Masterclass” (which will launch again in June - stay tuned!)

Here’s what Aoife had to say about her commitment to mindful drinking:

1. “I made a concrete decision to change - no matter what - and prioritized this.

2. ​You [the reader] spoke about a feeling of sometimes not caring and just wanting to let loose - I felt that a lot. What I did is I changed "let loose" to "self-soothe". There are more ways to let loose than through alcohol, that's just the most obvious one. Now is the perfect time to find others. Often I noticed that when I thought I "needed a drink" I was really needing soothing or reassuring or something else. Sometimes self-soothing involved listening to loud rock music and watching an action movie and sometimes it involved baking or knitting. I say be willing to broaden your definition of "letting loose" and experiment with things that are healthier for you.

3. I never drink when I am in an emotional mood (e.g. elated, down or angry). EVER. That was when I was more prone to make poor choices before so I only drink when I am in a grounded place.

4. Know the times, places and people you need to be careful around in relation to drinking. Prepare in advance for being in those situations or with those people and support yourself. Pub drinking was my danger zone and certain friends would really pressure me to drink. I still go to pubs occasionally but I won't drink in pubs (I prefer to have a drink with food or in homes of friends and family) and I have certain friends I just won't drink with.

5. I planned when I was going to drink and how much. The "in the moment" drinking so often led me down a dark/dangerous/blackout path. At first, I needed to be really controlled about planning in advance. I'd decide in advance "I'll be out at lunch on Saturday, if I feel like a red wine, I'll have one." When I was going on holiday I planned in advance to have one drink each day. Planning in advance also built my self-belief around having control over drinking. Now I am confident I can make an "in the moment" decision (but I will still only have a drink if I'm in a safe place, with appropriate people, in a calm mood, not in a pub etc.)

6. When you are having a drink, sip and savor. Really enjoy it. Also, if it helps, make your next drink non-alcoholic and totally different in taste, flavor or temperature. I might enjoy a glass of wine and then have a tea. Don't know why, but that helped me "draw a line" under the drinking part when I was starting to moderate and now I do it from habit.

7. Lastly when you decide to change that means that things WILL change - and not only habits, but it's likely that you will change as a person - your priorities, your idea of what is fun etc. It can take a while to find your feet with this new way of being, but after a little while momentum builds and it gets easier. Other peoples perceptions and expectations of you change too. For so long I was "party girl", the one who could always be relied on for a night of drinking. It took a while for the people around me to accept that I wasn't going to be drinking to obliteration anymore. Now that they accept this, I can be out with them and not drink and it's not even mentioned anymore!

The last thing is just that for me, these changes have been soooo worth it! I have so much more money, energy, creativity. I feel like I can trust myself. I feel proud of myself instead of ashamed (as I so often was). So much of my time, energy and brainpower was locked up with alcohol. Now it's gorgeous to be able to have a drink if I want one but not to need it anymore, to feel social or relax or feel part of a crowd. Now my self-identity is of someone who has a healthy relationship with alcohol and that "pull" that used to be there to drink before just isn't there anymore. It took a bit of work to get to a place I am happy with, but it's so worth it.

I totally trust that you will find out what is best for you and I'm absolutely cheering you on in your journey. Let me know if I can help in any way.”

I hope that Aoife’s share was helpful for you to read!

If you have a specific question about mindful drinking - let me know!! I’d love to feature your question in an upcoming post on the topic.

If you liked hearing from a community member, also let me know! I can see how we can continue to share more features and success stories.

Make sure to keep reading for a yummy mock margarita recipe and tips for getting through cinco de mayo mindfully.

Xoxo

LIQUID TREATS

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Here is the perfect margarita mocktail mix to celebrate with mindfulness. Just mix together, garnish your drink rim (optional) and enjoy! If you have plans to go out tonight, remember to set you intentions BEFORE you head out. Think about how you want to feel during and at the end of the night, and work backwards from there. If possible, share your intentions with a friend, your significant other, or in the Facebook group! Of course, there's nothing wrong with opting out of the festivities and enjoying a mocktail at home - which is what I plan on doing!!

INGREDIENTS

•  ¼ cup lime juice

• ¼ cup lemon flavored sparking water

• ¼ cup lime flavored sparkling water

• ¼ cup orange juice

• Agave syrup (optional/to taste)

• ice

• Optional: salt & lime to garnish