Where I live in Mexico, Valentine’s Day is celebrated as the Day of Love and Friendship.

Can I just say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE that subtle shift?

It takes the focus away from romantic love (and therefore those who might feel lacking if they don’t have a hot date or someone to cosy up to).

So Happy Day of Love and Friendship to all you — may your weekend be filled with joy and blessings.

Remember – romance yourself first and foremost, lavish the self-care, and take a few extra minutes to let your friends and loved ones know how much you appreciate them.

This week’s note will be brief – and focused on going easy on yourself – so it ties right in with the Love Day theme this weekend.

A couple of days ago, while doing a review of our 6 months working together, a client mentioned that she had been a bit hard on herself this last week: feeling that she hadn’t accomplished “enough” in the past 6 months.

This, coming from someone who has gone from severe burnout, insomnia and adrenal fatigue to sleeping better, feeling rested, and experiencing real energy again;

who has transitioned from extreme workaholism, chaos and over-commitment to spaciousness in her schedule, plenty of self-care (without guilt or self-criticism), and lots of time to be present with family and rekindle neglected friendships,

and in her words now:

“I’m off the ledge, clearing the fog, waking up excited instead of consumed by dread, enjoying the day instead of rushing through it… work is fun again, my house is organized, peaceful and functional, and I’m making real connections again…”

Wow. Back up a minute sister… THIS IS SO MUCH TO CELEBRATE!!

We spend years and year telling ourselves stories and unconsciously living patterns that shape our behaviours and day to day lives…

Rewriting these stories, learning new ways of being and creating new patterns to create real, sustainable change takes time.

Go easy on yourself!!

It really struck me again this morning… in a slightly different way. Our house has been out of water for several days now. We have a bucket next to the sink in the kitchen to scoop water out of to wash our hands and do dishes.

I’m at the sink countless times in the day, and even though I know we have no water and the bucket is in plain new right in front of me, I STILL reach for the tap almost EVERY SINGLE TIME. Force of habit. It’s what I’ve always done and 95% of the time, my unconscious is what guides my actions.

I have to make an effort to remind myself to do it differently. 

Over and over again, until I create a new habit or pattern.

They say you have to do something every day for 30 days until a new habit is formed. (Hopefully we’ll have water in our house before then!! But you get my drift…)

So keep at it. Change is possible but it takes time. ESPECIALLY when it involves the stories we tell ourselves or have been told since childhood.

Take time to celebrate the small steps. Be grateful for the awareness and desire that you have. Keep on keeping on. Give yourself lotsa love throughout the process.

And in the words of Robbie Williams: Go gentle to the light.