A few days ago, I spent the afternoon curled up in a ball in my bed, weeping.

For several days I had felt that sneaky underlying anxiety welling up inside of me. Tears squeezed out at the slightest provocation. My heart was beating faster than it should and I felt a queasiness in my stomach.

I’m familiar with this feeling. I used to experience it a lot. I also used to be “better” at ignoring it, by keeping myself so busy I didn’t have to notice or ask myself questions, and then turning it off or escaping with alcohol or other distractions.

Though the feeling was familiar, I was caught off guard.

I’m supposed to be happy right now. Everything has been going so well. My partner is amazing and supporting, as are my family and friends. My health has improved and I am feeling stronger than in the past 5 months.  I have wonderful clients to work with. I have travelled to Canada to receive some of the best health care in the world, and am eating an abundance of delicious, home-grown food.

Yet there I was a few days ago, unable to stop crying. Feeling super triggered emotionally, and overwhelmed.

I was allowing fear of the unknown engulf me. I was future-tripping and trying to control the uncontrollable.

I could chalk it up to hormones, or loneliness, but I knew that it was deeper than that. I had let my own self-care rituals slide while traveling, and though I was giving great advice to my coaching clients, I wasn’t walking the talk.

All this just days before my self-proclaimed “Super-Charge September” was about to start. A month of intensives with clients, tele-classes and interviews lined up.

Of course I began to feel like a fraud. Self-doubt crept in… Who I am to help my clients with this stuff when I’m a disorganized, crying mess?

And then the inevitable comparison game started… where I started noticing all of the other coaches who were so much “better” than I was,  and I suddenly felt small, insignificant and incapable.

WOW – what a slippery, nasty, ugly slope I slid down.

How quickly I became my own worst enemy, again. 

Thankfully, after allowing myself a good solid sob (or two, or … five) , I was able to begin grasping at some of the tools that have served me so well in the past few years.

I put on a pair of sunglasses over my puffy eyes and hauled my ass outside. I know how healing fresh air and the ocean are for me. I took myself for a walk by sea.

I found the perfect “reality-check” totem, to keep me grounded in the present. I’m a very tactile person, though I can get completely swept away by my run-away thoughts. When I’m feeling anxious, I used a physical object to bring me back to the hear and now. Have you seen the movie Inception? Where they bring a totem into their dream quests to remind themselves that it’s a dream? Kind of like that.

I sat on a rock and took deep breathes and made a mental gratitude list.

I reaffirmed by commitment to my morning rituals, which help me start my day grounded, peaceful and focused.

Later in the day, I tapped. I soaked in the tub, stretched and luxuriated in some solo sensuality.

I decided to make “sober september” a sugar-free month, as I’d been noticing that without alcohol in my life, I was reaching for sugar and emotional eating for comfort.

I forgave myself for my “melt-down” and focused instead on treating myself with the same compassion and understanding I would have offered a client or loved one who was experiencing the same thing.

I spent the next day nurturing myself and putting both the emotional and organizational systems together to get back on track.

The systems that I am so exciting to share with my clients over the next month. 

More than that – I am again reminded of why this work is so meaningful to me: through my professional role, I get to do the personal work. And when I’m not doing it, for whatever reason, I am reminded in the way I was this weekend that I need to practice what I preach. I am a work in progress. We all are.

Anxiety and overwhelm, such as what I was experiencing this weekend, can stem from concern about the future and unmet needs.

The remedies include living in the moment, while also taking small but decisive steps towards our goals, ensuring that our needs are being met and every night we can go to sleep reassured that we were able to feel our desired way that day.

I’m so excited to Super-Charge September with you with a mix of my best self-care tips and systems to help you identify, plan and stick to the changes you want to make. With ‘real-talk’ reality-based support, because I know how challenging this work can be!

If you’d like to hear more about my own journey and the tools I try to use on a daily basis, click here to sign up for my free tele-class next Tuesday. 

If you are ready to jump right in for a month of super-charged coaching (includes four weekly 1-1 sessions and unlimited email support), click here for a free info session. 


the ocean
can calm itself,
so can you.
are both
salt water
mixed with
— meditation, nayyirah waheed.