Month: April 2017

How are you this week?

My current status has gone from emotional rollercoaster (which I rode for the first few weeks of my separation) to “deep in it.”

Moving into my new apartment was the catalyst for this deep dive into my feelings.

Going through the motions of packing my things and leaving the home Luis and I had built together as we were expecting our daughter’s arrival was really hard.

Having space and solitude as I settled into my new apartment and tried to make it feel like home meant there was room to feel the deep sadness, disappointment, and pain that had been barely contained beneath the surface for the past few weeks.

And something I’ve learned about being truly present and willing to feel pain with no distraction is that what rises to the surface isn’t necessarily only about the current experience but may trigger feelings and pain that had been suppressed in the past.

Which is why one heartbreak can feel like revisiting all love lost in the past.

Here’s something else I’ve come to learn.

Feeling our pain deeply is a privilege.

It means we are strong.
It means we are resilient.
It means we trust ourselves enough to know that we can survive this.
It means that we have faith that after the deep dive we will rise again, and thrive.

Knowing this and being able to risk the uncertainty means that we are privileged enough to know that our survival isn’t in question.

For example, I couldn’t feel the depth of pain from abandonment and trauma that I experienced as a child and teenager because I didn’t yet know I was strong enough.

I had to make myself strong enough by stuffing those experiences deep down where I wouldn’t feel them because to feel the depth of betrayal would have been unbearable at the time.

Some people go through their entire lives in survival mode, never feeling safe or supported enough to truly experience their pain.

The tragedy here is that when cut off from experiencing the depths of our pain, we are also denied the opportunity to feel the heights of our joy.

One of our FB support group members posted this quote a few days ago, and it resonated so much with me.

“Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our whole lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy - the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

Brene Brown

Something else I’ve learned?

It’s really hard to be brave by yourself.

It’s really hard to take risks if you don’t know that you are supported.

That’s why healing truly takes a village.

Here’s who I have on my team:

• A healer/therapist/energy worker/flower remedy expert/astrologer who I see at least every two weeks if not more frequently

• A holistic business coach

• A thetahealer, frequencies energy worker and essential oil expert on heavy rotation for consultations

• A handful of “biz besties” who understand the complexities of being a mom,entrepreneur, and woman

• Hundreds of women who are part of several groups I PAY to be a part of specifically because they bring together women who share the same values as me and who are committed to similar paths of healing, growth, and expansion

• Supportive and loving family and friends

• Our Evolve: Drink Less Be More support group

• My clients - yes, I consider my clients are part of my team because their commitment to taking risks and showing up for themselves courageously reinforces my commitment to my own health and healing, daily!

It is because of this “village” that I feel privileged enough to deep dive into pain.

I’ll give you an example from a client.

She had basically been sitting on her homework of doing a fire release ritual because she was afraid of what would come up for her. After spending some time reaching out to the Facebook group, opening up to her husband, going to a support group locally AND having two sessions with me where I supported her to take this big step, here’s what she wrote to me:

“I feel amazing today!  Light, full of energy, and thinking that life has so many opportunities for me!  In January I was laying on the couch thinking I truly was finished with life, that there was nothing left for me.  I was done.  Moving from bed to couch to bed day after day.

Today I am feeling like I want more hours in the day because I have so many things I want to explore, to do, to create!”

Now, my client wouldn’t have had this experience if she’d stayed stuck in her cycle. She reached out and set multiple wheels in motion to create some massive shifts in her life. She felt fear, which even paralyzed her briefly, but she was able to move through it because she knew she was supported and safe. She had her team in place to hold her if need be. And now she’s experiencing the privileges - the full of energy and optimism.

Do you have your team?

Do you feel supported and safe enough to move beyond simply surviving into truly thriving??

There are still a few spots available for the Spring Cleaning Fire Ritual and private coaching at my super special "3 years in biz" offer. If you didn't get a chance to read about it on Monday, click here. 

It would be an absolute honour and privilege to be on your team and to support you during this powerful season of transformation and growth.

xoxo,