I rang in the new year with my two loves, sitting on the 2nd floor terrace of our new home.

Our house is off the grid and therefore we were surrounded by relative darkness.

We are up on a hill, with a view that stretches towards the town, and beyond.

At midnight, the sky lit up with four different displays of fireworks. It was incredible.

Though I have spent 4 years of New Years in this town, I have never had this vantage point. I would have been on the beach looking up at one set of fireworks, in the thick of a party, raucous and loud and the lights accompanied by booming overhead.

This year, I was removed from the intensity. The booming was distant. Instead screams, the sounds of the sensual latin guitar being played at our neighbour’s filled our ears.

Until this New Year’s eve, I had no idea there were so many displays of fireworks spread across the districts of our town.

I was struck by the symbolism – or maybe it was I who infused the moment with meaning – because I was reflecting on how different my life is this year than in previous years.

Stuck in the fray, wanting to be a part of everything, distracted by the noise… I had no idea of the beauty and tranquility that could come from stepping away from the party.

While I may have suffered from severe FOMO before, I now realize that instead of missing out, my horizon has expanded and I am able to see, feel, and experience more than I ever thought possible.

I’ve accomplished a lot in the past year that I am really proud of but that’s not what was was going through my mind during the countdown to ring in the start of 2015.

Instead, I was overcome by emotion thinking about is how different I FEEL.

I probably overuse the word bliss but I really cant think of a better word to use a lot of the time. I feel pure, undiluted BLISS.

PRESENCE. I didn’t really understand this word while I was still deep in my drinking and addiction to overdrive. I am able to embody every moment, to feel everything – the highs and lows – for what they really are. I used to have such a hard time sorting through my feelings, I’d get confused, I’d stumble when I tried to communicate to loved ones, I would be raw, overtired, hungover and those added ingredients made it so much harder to understand what was really going on for me.

People around me describe a new sense of TRANQUILITY radiating from me. It’s an interesting perspective considering that fact I lived my life at a whirling, chaotic pace for so long.

Though this year was full of physical challenges, I feel more STRENGTH than ever before. My body is the healthiest in all of my adult life. It is easy to make good decisions around what to eat, when to sleep and how to nourish my physical temple.

I embody and emanate LOVE. Plain and simple. With every choice I make to treat myself with the utmost respect, to uphold the highest version of myself, to align myself with the sacred and divine… I am love. I am love for myself and I have so much to share in a way that feels so authentic and natural, that I am never depleted.

This coming year, I want to feel abundant, effusive, effervescent, connected, sage and joyful. I will align my intentions towards this feelings.

How do you want to feel?