New Years Intentions 2018
How are you? I'm checking in after an incredible week away with family, where we travelled South to a little town on the coast called Mazunte, then up into the Sierra Madre mountains and then into Oaxaca City. I made a commitment to myself to prioritize CONNECTION with myself and family, and just received my "screen time notification" that I only used my phone for 41 minutes in the past week!
Let me say - I definitely can't remember the last time that happened. (And no, I wasn't on my computer either - I had one client session during the whole week and otherwise, my computer stayed closed).
In addition to quality time with my family, I was able to reflect on my life and business and the transformation that has taken place in the past year and to set my intentions for the coming year.
I wanted to share a bit with you about that process... and how to set powerful intentions for yourself.
Why set an intention over a resolution?
In The Power of Intention, Wayne Dyer defines intention as “a strong purpose or aim, accompanied by a determination to produce a desired result.”
An intention is something you aim to achieve, something that has a purpose, something that you actively work to manifest in your life.
Now, in order to create powerful intentions, it’s super important to get clear on what you are working towards.
What does your vision of yourself look like for 2019 and beyond?
Anyone who has ever set up a free consultation with me knows this is one of the first questions I ask (btw, have we talked yet? If we haven't, let's set up a time to connect!).
So ask yourself, what does your vision for yourself look like?
If you could wave a magic wand and everything were to go RIGHT, and you were able to make all of the positive changes you want to, what would your life look and FEEL like one year from now?
When we make resolutions and focus on the minutia, or create rules for ourselves to abide by, it’s easy to despair and throw in the towel when we’re not achieving what we think we should be.
“I said I wasn’t going to drink more than 2 nights a week and last week I drank more nights than not – so what’s the point anyway? Might as well quit trying.”
“Didn’t make it to the gym 3 times last week so I’ve already broken my resolution and it’s only the second week of January. Obviously, I’m not going to be able to achieve anything I wanted to this year, as I’m still a lazy f**k.”
When we set these kinds of goals for ourselves we sometimes set ourselves up for disappointment. And then when we don’t follow through or “succeed” right away, our inner critic is so quick to use this as confirmation of our worst fears about ourselves: We’re incapable of change, unworthy of making the changes, flawed, damaged goods, doomed to stay stuck and never expect anything better… etc.
Does any of this sound familiar?
How would you like to free yourself from this cycle, NOW?
Take some time today or tomorrow to bless and release 2017, create a powerful vision for yourself for the next year and from there, set your intentions.
Get comfortable, take a few deep breaths. You may want to use a couple of drops of a grounding blend of essential oils to really centre yourself (I love doTerra balance, cedarwood, vetiver, sandalwood or rose). You may want to light some candles or use incense to cleanse the space.
I know that 2018 has felt like a really hard year for so many. What helps “bless and release” a more challenging time is to make a list of your celebrations (no matter how seemingly small) and then say a simple statement or prayer:
“Thank you 2018 for all that you taught me, thank you for ________ that I have to celebrate. I bless you and release you to create space for my vision of 2019.”
Next, allow yourself to entertain the vision of yourself a year from now.
What are you doing?
How do you treat yourself?
How do others treat you?
How do you look?
How do you feel?
What did you create in 2019?
What changes did you make?
How has your life transformed?
Your health, your body, your relationships?
Allow a feeling of gratitude to wash over you. Really sink into the feeling of how it would feel to wake up on December 31, 2019 and reflect back over the past year.
Now, from that vision, create your list of gratitudes for these things AS IF THEY’VE ALREADY HAPPENED and from there, we’ll create intentions.
Start each sentence with “I am happy and grateful that…”
Examples:
I am happy and grateful that I have control over alcohol.
I am happy and grateful to feel so healthy, strong and confident in my body.
I am happy and grateful to have consistently prioritized self-care.
I am happy and grateful to have experienced so much abundance and adventure.
I am happy and grateful to feel honoured, respected and supported by my spouse/family.
From this, your intentions become:
To have control over alcohol.
To be healthy, strong and confident.
To prioritize self-care.
To experience abundance and adventure.
To be honoured, respected and supported by your spouse or family.
You will, of course, write down what best suits you and your vision for yourself (these were just suggestions on my part).
As Hafiz wrote “The words you speak become the house you live in.” I believe this is true for the thoughts we think and the words we write as well.
So choose your words mindfully!!
You see how this is different than resolutions? Even if you feel like you are slipping or have a few weeks that are harder, you can keep your “eye on the prize” so to speak and know what you are working towards.
Alexandra Nicewicz Carroll wrote in her article Drop the Resolution and Live with Intention:
“Compared to an intention, a resolution is relatively simple: it either is or is not, it sticks or it doesn’t. Intentions require nurturing and cultivation, tending and care. Intentions require whole-hearted commitment to a purpose or an aim as well as a willingness to surrender ourselves to this all-encompassing force, to trust that, as we contribute each day to nurturing this intention, our vision and purpose will unfold in our lives.”
Is every day perfect? Of course not. But the most important part is to stay committed to the vision, believe in the intentions (that’s why we practice feeling them and writing them down as if they’ve already happened), and then taking consistent action towards fulfilling this vision.
Some days this might be going to the gym, whereas on other days a quick 10-minute power walk might be all you can muster and what is actually best for you in that moment.
Some months during the year you might even decide to go alcohol-free while during others you practice moderation – and it’s all part of “redefining your relationship to alcohol.”
See where I’m going with this?
As my friend Maru Iabichela says, “Rome wasn’t built in a day. Start laying those bricks now if you want to see your dreams grow. Ps. ALL steps count. No steps DON’T count” (ie, take action, even small steps make a difference. NO steps means no movement)
I’ve been asked about intentions and how to really make them “work.” As one Redefining Sobriety Online Immersion participant recently wrote: “How do you break the cycle? It seems like sometimes good intentions never quite make the reality.”
I sent this question to another dear friend and author of the Intention Generation, Makenna Johnston, to which she replied: “Intentions are just part of the process. They aren’t THE process. Setting intentions for the new year matters, don’t get me wrong. But it is the action you take that catalyzes intentions into results. And RESULTS is what you’re after.“
NOW is the time to start.
Get clear on your vision, grab a pen, write it down your vision and gratitude statement, distillyour intentions. Bless and release 2018 and start calling in everything you want for 2019.
Do this NOW.
NOW!!
Then choose something you will do differently, also starting now, start TODAY!
Why wait until tomorrow or January 1st?
That’s the kind of action Makenna and I are talking about.
Want 2019 to end differently than 2018?
Then what are YOU going to do to make that happen?
One of my intentions for 2019 is more CONNECTION - so here is an example of how I'm doing that NOW:
I'll be spending this afternoon re-potting and planting new plants my mom and I bought for my house (nothing like digging in the dirt to ground me), choosing NYE plans that also prioritize connection with a home-cooked meal with family and then going to see a band whose music I love to dance to and avoiding any parties that don't feel good and completely aligned with how I want to feel and who I want to be surrounded by, and planning a New Year's intention setting/vision boarding day with a few close friends on the 1st.
I'm already taking action on the intentions I've set for 2019... which will help me FEEL the results sooner!
If you have any questions about any of this – please do let me know! I’d love to hear your vision for yourself, your intentions and the actions you are going to take to make that vision and those intentions a reality!!
Holiday Hit List 2018
Ok so I know I said I was going to be emailing at the end of the week - but I received an outpouring of comments after sending my email yesterday and re-sharing my recent article with MGB and realized - these resources are needed NOW, not later this week.
I must admit - the holiday season is a little different here in Mexico and doesn’t start quite as early. So while I started feeling the holiday-stress-squeeze this week - I realize that for quite a few in our community, this has been going on for weeks if not all month!
And let’s face it.
This time of year can be hard!
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel that despite my best intentions, the stresses, anxieties and overwhelm sneak in.
I found myself being on edge this week, on the verge of tears or in tears, feeling waves of seemingly unexplained sadness wash over me.
I’ve also found myself undoing the after-effects of an old and familiar habit that snuck in this past 3-4 months. I said yes to way too much and found myself spread too thin.
Everything was GOOD, and interesting, and stimulating… I was working with amazing clients, putting my neuro-transformational certification skills into practice leading an online group coaching mastermind, joining my mentor’s team to support her in a massive launch, working on a consultancy for the non-profit I founded 11 years ago, hosting a retreat and a workshop, leading the fundraising team for my daughter’s community-run school and participating in the parent committee that governs the school, and on and on…
Then add to the mix PARENTING a very determined and independent 4-year-old. I’ve found this stage of parenting to be one of the most challenging and isolating. It’s when I’ve really missed having a teammate/co-parent and that fact that Luna’s dad has been away a lot for work has led me to feeling even more alone and for long stretches without breaks. I’ve found myself questioning myself a lot. Wondering if I’m doing it “right.” Worried that I’m somehow messing up my child.
This why I’m giving myself permission to embrace “Say yes to LESS” as a mantra for the end of this year and heading into 2019.
What this means is practicing mindfulness, taking my time with decisions, and being really intentional about how I want to be feeling on a daily basis.
It’s about honouring myself by prioritizing self-care and releasing any shame around needing to take care of my mental health.
It’s about choosing nourishment over numbing, as overwork and perfectionism are also some of my numbing behaviours. (If you missed my recent article on this, here it is).
It’s about trying to release and ease up on the enormous amount of pressure I put on myself (I’m a work-in-progress on this one, so if you have any tips I’d love to hear them).
And now, fully embracing my “say yes to less” mantra - I’m not going to write a NEW holiday blog post. I’ve written some great ones in the past, and even if you’ve read them before, they are worth revisiting! I’ve been rereading them and getting a lot out of the tips and reminders.
So here they are - my holiday hit list!!
7 tips for handling holiday stress (without turning to alcohol)
How to thrive through any holiday
Releasing the ghosts of Christmas past (this is really important if you feel plagued by regrets, sadness or shame regarding the past
How to avoid a two-week hangover this holiday season
How to deal with a family member's unhealthy drinking
As you read through these, you might notice some repetition... and that's a good thing!! Not of these are 'magic wand' solutions - they take practice, ESPECIALLY during a time of year when we might be feeling extra triggered.
I look forward to hearing from you about which one of these holiday tips were most helpful for you.
I'll be back next week to talk about how to set powerful New Year's intentions, and I'll be revealing my focus for 2019 (which became crystal clear to me as I was standing at the sink washing dishes this morning).
Until then, sending you massive love and respect for SHOWING UP.
It's not easy, but you are here, doing the best you can do and I'm proud of you!
Nourish vs Numbing
It felts like forever since I've written, and it kinda has been. The past few weeks/months have been a full and mostly amazing whirlwind of family visits, receiving clients to Mexico in-person retreats and workshops, our beta online neuro-transformational mastermind redefining sobriety immersion and my private clients, and then an incredible invite-only biz mastermind in Tulum ... with lots of school events and meetings thrown into the mix! I'm sure there are things that I'm forgetting but as I said, whirlwind.
So much so that my mantra heading into the new year is "say less to less." Later this week I will be sharing more on that, and also more on how to set powerful intentions for the new year, but I really wanted to pop into your inbox and share this article that came out on mindbodygreen a couple of weeks ago.
It's all about the fine line between what nourishes us and numbs us, and how to practice mindfulness to stay on the nourishing side of things. I can say that with way too much on my plate these past few months (even if it was all mostly good stuff), I've been noticing to urge to numb come on a little stronger, and have been applying the tips I outline in the article.
I've received some great feedback on social media and would love you hear your thoughts too! I believe this is perfect timing as we head into the holidays and this time of year which can add extra stress.
Of course, if you know someone who would benefit from this perspective, please share the article with them!
As I mentioned earlier, stay tuned for more holiday-related content coming to you later this week as well as some exciting opportunities for the new year!!