“What are you intentions for the night?” my best friend asked as we were primping and getting ready to go out in New York City for a belated birthday celebration for my 35th.
I was slightly taken aback at first, then flooded with gratitude.
“It’s working!” I thought to myself. This life and process I created for myself and share with others – it’s working!!
I paused to think about it. I wanted the evening to feel fun, playful and carefree. I wanted to feel tipsy but remain in control. I didn’t want to have to think about it too much, count drinks or “worry.” In short, I wanted to feel like I could have a great time that involved alcohol, without feeling like someone with a problem.
A lot of my clients have a similar goal: to have a healthy relationship to alcohol.
The definition of healthy varies from person to person, but the idea behind it is always the same – to be able to enjoy a certain amount of alcohol (usually well within the low-risk guidelines) without the negative consequences, without obsessing about whether to drink more or stopping within the limit they’ve decided for themselves.
I felt together and in control all night. I was tipsy but never felt close to losing my grip on consciousness or the beautiful reality and personal integrity I have worked so hard to create for myself.
We had a fantastic 12 course chef’s tasting menu at a hot new plant-based restaurant called “Dirt Candy.” Between 3 of us, we shared two bottles of prossecco over the course of 2 hours, and with a lot of food. We then went to dance the night away listening to Grandmaster Flash at a club in the Meatpacking district.
I haven’t danced so much in years! I drank 3 drinks at the club – gin and sparkling water with lemon.
Why am I sharing these details with you? I’m the Queen of Moderation – and here I am sharing how I drank MORE than I have in 3 years.
Why is this significant?
I’ve always wanted to be someone who could live with intention, who could give herself permission to do the things she had previously relied on alcohol for, who could learn how to manage stress and anxiety and self-doubt and sometimes self-loathing differently.
I wanted to be someone who could have a healthy relationship with alcohol.
My tipsy night out was so different than any other of the past.
Here’s why:
My best friend asked me what my intentions were for the evening.
We kept checking in with each other throughout the evening.
We stayed hydrated and drank lots of water.
I turned down many offers of drinks, making sure to not drink approximately more than 1 per hour.
The night was sandwiched between many other self-care activities that kept me grounded and in integrity, with myself. (If you haven’t yet read last week’s email “It’s my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to” read here)
I stopped at tipsy, which would have NEVER happened in the past.
I now know that in order to have a “free” night like I did last week, I have to make sure I’m taking care of myself – big time.
Otherwise I lose my strength, and alcohol’s power to convince me that it is the answer (because sometimes it is the easy answer) becomes all too tempting.
I ended last week with a retreat in Woodstock, upstate NY.
Nine empowered women, lavishing ourselves in sensual self-care, eating the most incredible plant-based food, a full-moon ritual around the bonfire, naked swimming and saunas in a salt water pool with not a drop of alcohol to be had all weekend. It was blissful perfection and the definition of self-love. I had no desire to keep the party going or any pull to slide back into old patterns.
This is both reassuring and incredibly liberating!
The past 2 weeks of birthday celebrations have proven to me that I can truly have it all.
I spent my times connecting with amazing entrepreneurs, health coaching for Ralph Lauren (!!), hosting an intimate evening with 10 beautiful women on the topic of Drink Less Be More and how to truly show up for ourselves and each other, attending a retreat, and partying like it was 1999 (or 2009, haha).
I proved to myself that I can have a successful professional life, a nourishing and intuitive nutrition plan, self-care that includes both dancing and sacred rituals, an unshakeable “centre,” new habits that have become unconscious (ie I don’t have to think so much about them) and so much more.
When I first started – I didn’t have a system.
I didn’t have a plan to follow.
I didn’t have anyone taking the initiative to check in about my intentions.
I was alone – me and my thoughts.
When I did talk to friends – it was more along the lines of “I don’t want to get too drunk tonight” – and it stopped there.
We didn’t yet know how to talk about the quality of experience we were looking for, how we wanted to feel during the night or the next day.
New York City used to equal Trigger City for me and I used to end work trips and conferences absolutely destroyed.
It took me several years to evolve to the place where I am now.
That is I’m so committed to sharing the Drink Less Be More Masterclass with you.
I want you to have the support that I longed for years ago.
I want you to have the tools and systems that I’ve developed to not only redefine your relationship to alcohol, but to change your entire life if you want to.
There are limited spots available in this next round and I won’t be offering it again until later next year.
Click here for the application and don’t hesitate if you feel the timing is right.
If you have any questions, simply reply to this email and let me know.
xoxo