Time for some real talk here.

I was speaking with someone during a strategy session awhile ago. She mentioned that she had read my book, but that she was having a hard time following through on her intentions for herself. She would set a plan in her mind, but ultimately at the end of the night or the next day, she found herself back here she didn’t want to be, having drank too much and paying the consequences. As we discussed the specifics, it became clear to me that there was an important part of the equation that was missing… can you guess what it is?

I’ll give you a hint. Starts with an “A” and ends with “ILITY”…
Yay! You got it.


You see, having solid accountability systems in place is often what separates “good intentions” and intentions followed through on and achieved.

Now, it’s really important for me to clarify something.

One of my big motivators for doing this work is because I needed it. And still do.
(You know the ol’ adage – teach what you have to learn? Very true for me)

I am a work in progress.
I am not perfect.
Sometimes I let myself down.

Sometimes I can be really good at talking myself out of doing the thing that I know is best for me.

You might think that I’ve got my shit together all of the time. I don’t.
You might think that alcohol moderation is easy for me all the time. It’s not.

Almost exactly two years ago I was in New York.

Six months prior, I had set my intention to never get drunk again. I had tried periods of abstinence and was feeling pretty good about moderating.
But I hadn’t been in NYC and tried to moderate yet.

(My love affair with New York is about 5 visits strong. The city unlocks AAALLL of the wild child tendencies in me, and provides endless variety – something I thrive on)

In some situations, I did great. I was open about my intentions and the focus of the coaching practice that I was launching.

But in other situations, I let myself down.

I didn’t tell the people I was with exactly what I was doing and what my intentions were.

This was especially true when I was with old friends I used to party with a lot – and it was so easy for one glass of wine to turn into three, and then another specialty cocktail at the bar.

Was I moderating? Well, yes – compared to how I used to drink.
But was I staying true to my intentions and upholding my vision for myself?
Honestly – no. I wasn’t.

I lost my grip on the reality that I wanted to be living as I felt myneuroligicalresponse change under the influence of alcohol. I let alcohol be my permission slip again – to be “bad,” to stay out later than was good for me, and to have a few hookups that weren’t in my heart’s best interest.

EVEN THOUGH I was there for a health conference – I still ordered that extra drink I didn’t need.
EVEN THOUGH I knew I didn’t want to get drunk, I still said yes to an astronaut after11pm on a SUNDAY (If you’ve never heard of an astronaut, I won’t be the one to introduce you to it. Let’s just say  was the last shot I ever drank).
EVEN THOUGH I had an early meeting on Monday in Brooklyn, I ended up chasing adventure from Brooklyn to Washington Heights in the wee hours of themorning, and missing the breakfast meeting
EVEN THOUGH I had an early morning flight on a Tuesday, I said yes to going to the Apothecary and trying artesian cocktails after a couple of glasses of wine at a friend’s house… which should have been enough but of course…. it never was.

As you are reading this it is likely that I have just touched down in New York.
I will be in the City That Never Sleeps for a series of events lined up to launch Drink Less Be More.

I am so excited to share this message with more people, and, I’ve gotta admit… I’m also a little nervous.

I’m going back into an environment where I lot of my triggers are lurking, and it’s going to be a challenge.

I could let fear dominate this time around and shadow my perceived ability to follow through on my intentions, but I won’t let it.

My intentions are to take the best possible care of myself, to get enough sleep (minimum 7 hours a night) and to be clear-headed, present and heart-wide open the whole time.

After careful consideration, I decided to set the intention of no alcohol for the entire time I’m here.

I shared my intentions with one of my best friends and she seemed surprised when I said I wasn’t going to drink at all. “Not even one?” She asked.

City that never sleep + a girl with a propensity to pile waayyyy too much on her plate and fill her cup until it runneth over (in all senses, literally and metaphorically) = lots of potential to fall out of intention.

How incredible to try this city alcohol-free? To explore all of the other options available to me.

I already know what it’s like to order a 20$ cocktail at the Hudson, to get giddy off of prosecco at the pier, to feel fuzzy after too many glasses of red at a wine bar on the Upper East Side, to shoot astronauts in Brooklyn (it’s a shot), get drunk off of some random spicy homebrew at a speakeasy in the East Village, drink sickly sweet maraschino drinks at the Dominican joint in Queens, to share a bottle of Patron with on-duty parking lot attendants in SoHo (don’t ask) and of course throw back rounds of the seemingly requisite mimosas at brunch.

I’ve never been to New York and sought juice over booze.
I’ve never sipped hand crafted jun mocktails.
I’ve rarely been to networking events completely sober.
I’ve never given myself the chance to feel confident without alcohol in the Big Apple.
I’ve never considered what kind of adventures and experiences may come my way once I stopped following the alcohol and started following my intuition.

It’s exciting, and unknown and feels like a challenge.
It’s what I need to do for myself now. I feel sure of it.

Here’s where the accountability piece comes in.
Last time ‘round, I didn’t have it. It was up to me and only me. This allowed me to be selective in my follow through.

I’ve already shared my intention to be alcohol-free in NYC in our private support group.

Now I’m making a declaration and holding myself accountability with you too. 

So you see how this works?

It’s ongoing.
It’s a process.
It involves evaluating and re-evaluating.
It involves setting yourself up for success.
It’s not only about setting intentions, but developing the mindset that change is possible, and putting accountability systems in place.

I’m not suggesting you need to do this publicly.
The key is to find what works for YOU.
That person with whom you feel safe sharing.
A trusted confidant, best friend, lover, spouse, relative, therapist, coach… you decide.

The community where you can find like-minded and compassionate peeps.

Do me a favour and stop beating yourself up for not making change happen.
This *ish is hard, as they say these days 😉
No one should have to figure it all out alone.

Spend some time now thinking – what accountability strategy can you start TODAY so that things will be different?

Remember: Intention + action + accountability increase your probability of change.

If you’d like – write to me and let me know what your accountability strategy is. If you have any questions about this process – let me know!!