How are you? I’m checking in after an incredible week away with family, where we travelled South to a little town on the coast called Mazunte, then up into the Sierra Madre mountains and then into Oaxaca City. I made a commitment to myself to prioritize CONNECTION with myself and family, and just received my “screen time notification” that I only used my phone for 41 minutes in the past week!
Let me say – I definitely can’t remember the last time that happened. (And no, I wasn’t on my computer either – I had one client session during the whole week and otherwise, my computer stayed closed).
In addition to quality time with my family, I was able to reflect on my life and business and the transformation that has taken place in the past year and to set my intentions for the coming year.
I wanted to share a bit with you about that process… and how to set powerful intentions for yourself.
Why set an intention over a resolution?
In The Power of Intention, Wayne Dyer defines intention as “a strong purpose or aim, accompanied by a determination to produce a desired result.”
An intention is something you aim to achieve, something that has a purpose, something that you actively work to manifest in your life.
Now, in order to create powerful intentions, it’s super important to get clear on what you are working towards.
What does your vision of yourself look like for 2019 and beyond?
Anyone who has ever set up a free consultation with me knows this is one of the first questions I ask (btw, have we talked yet? If we haven’t, let’s set up a time to connect!).
So ask yourself, what does your vision for yourself look like?
If you could wave a magic wand and everything were to go RIGHT, and you were able to make all of the positive changes you want to, what would your life look and FEEL like one year from now?
When we make resolutions and focus on the minutia, or create rules for ourselves to abide by, it’s easy to despair and throw in the towel when we’re not achieving what we think we should be.
“I said I wasn’t going to drink more than 2 nights a week and last week I drank more nights than not – so what’s the point anyway? Might as well quit trying.”
“Didn’t make it to the gym 3 times last week so I’ve already broken my resolution and it’s only the second week of January. Obviously, I’m not going to be able to achieve anything I wanted to this year, as I’m still a lazy f**k.”
When we set these kinds of goals for ourselves we sometimes set ourselves up for disappointment. And then when we don’t follow through or “succeed” right away, our inner critic is so quick to use this as confirmation of our worst fears about ourselves: We’re incapable of change, unworthy of making the changes, flawed, damaged goods, doomed to stay stuck and never expect anything better… etc.
Does any of this sound familiar?
How would you like to free yourself from this cycle, NOW?
Take some time today or tomorrow to bless and release 2017, create a powerful vision for yourself for the next year and from there, set your intentions.
Get comfortable, take a few deep breaths. You may want to use a couple of drops of a grounding blend of essential oils to really centre yourself (I love doTerra balance, cedarwood, vetiver, sandalwood or rose). You may want to light some candles or use incense to cleanse the space.
I know that 2018 has felt like a really hard year for so many. What helps “bless and release” a more challenging time is to make a list of your celebrations (no matter how seemingly small) and then say a simple statement or prayer:
“Thank you 2018 for all that you taught me, thank you for ________ that I have to celebrate. I bless you and release you to create space for my vision of 2019.”
Next, allow yourself to entertain the vision of yourself a year from now.
What are you doing?
How do you treat yourself?
How do others treat you?
How do you look?
How do you feel?
What did you create in 2019?
What changes did you make?
How has your life transformed?
Your health, your body, your relationships?
Allow a feeling of gratitude to wash over you. Really sink into the feeling of how it would feel to wake up on December 31, 2019 and reflect back over the past year.
Now, from that vision, create your list of gratitudes for these things AS IF THEY’VE ALREADY HAPPENED and from there, we’ll create intentions.
Start each sentence with “I am happy and grateful that…”
Examples:
I am happy and grateful that I have control over alcohol.
I am happy and grateful to feel so healthy, strong and confident in my body.
I am happy and grateful to have consistently prioritized self-care.
I am happy and grateful to have experienced so much abundance and adventure.
I am happy and grateful to feel honoured, respected and supported by my spouse/family.
From this, your intentions become:
To have control over alcohol.
To be healthy, strong and confident.
To prioritize self-care.
To experience abundance and adventure.
To be honoured, respected and supported by your spouse or family.
You will, of course, write down what best suits you and your vision for yourself (these were just suggestions on my part).
As Hafiz wrote “The words you speak become the house you live in.” I believe this is true for the thoughts we think and the words we write as well.
So choose your words mindfully!!
You see how this is different than resolutions? Even if you feel like you are slipping or have a few weeks that are harder, you can keep your “eye on the prize” so to speak and know what you are working towards.
Alexandra Nicewicz Carroll wrote in her article Drop the Resolution and Live with Intention:
“Compared to an intention, a resolution is relatively simple: it either is or is not, it sticks or it doesn’t. Intentions require nurturing and cultivation, tending and care. Intentions require whole-hearted commitment to a purpose or an aim as well as a willingness to surrender ourselves to this all-encompassing force, to trust that, as we contribute each day to nurturing this intention, our vision and purpose will unfold in our lives.”
Is every day perfect? Of course not. But the most important part is to stay committed to the vision, believe in the intentions (that’s why we practice feeling them and writing them down as if they’ve already happened), and then taking consistent action towards fulfilling this vision.
Some days this might be going to the gym, whereas on other days a quick 10-minute power walk might be all you can muster and what is actually best for you in that moment.
Some months during the year you might even decide to go alcohol-free while during others you practice moderation – and it’s all part of “redefining your relationship to alcohol.”
See where I’m going with this?
As my friend Maru Iabichela says, “Rome wasn’t built in a day. Start laying those bricks now if you want to see your dreams grow. Ps. ALL steps count. No steps DON’T count” (ie, take action, even small steps make a difference. NO steps means no movement)
I’ve been asked about intentions and how to really make them “work.” As one Redefining Sobriety Online Immersion participant recently wrote: “How do you break the cycle? It seems like sometimes good intentions never quite make the reality.”
I sent this question to another dear friend and author of the Intention Generation, Makenna Johnston, to which she replied: “Intentions are just part of the process. They aren’t THE process. Setting intentions for the new year matters, don’t get me wrong. But it is the action you take that catalyzes intentions into results. And RESULTS is what you’re after.“
NOW is the time to start.
Get clear on your vision, grab a pen, write it down your vision and gratitude statement, distillyour intentions. Bless and release 2018 and start calling in everything you want for 2019.
Do this NOW.
NOW!!
Then choose something you will do differently, also starting now, start TODAY!
Why wait until tomorrow or January 1st?
That’s the kind of action Makenna and I are talking about.
Want 2019 to end differently than 2018?
Then what are YOU going to do to make that happen?
One of my intentions for 2019 is more CONNECTION – so here is an example of how I’m doing that NOW:
I’ll be spending this afternoon re-potting and planting new plants my mom and I bought for my house (nothing like digging in the dirt to ground me), choosing NYE plans that also prioritize connection with a home-cooked meal with family and then going to see a band whose music I love to dance to and avoiding any parties that don’t feel good and completely aligned with how I want to feel and who I want to be surrounded by, and planning a New Year’s intention setting/vision boarding day with a few close friends on the 1st.
I’m already taking action on the intentions I’ve set for 2019… which will help me FEEL the results sooner!
If you have any questions about any of this – please do let me know! I’d love to hear your vision for yourself, your intentions and the actions you are going to take to make that vision and those intentions a reality!!