Am I being selfish?

Hi!

In my last email, I wrote about hitting near bottom again, how I rallied support and the ideas that were born out of it.

Then I started to wonder if it’s “too much” me.

The old story of taking up off much space, of being too focused on myself, starts to show up.

It’s true - I’m creating the kind of program that I need and would want to be a part of. That I DO want to be a part of.

And when I release the old story about making this too much about me (and why is that a bad thing, anyway?)– I get so excited about having the passion, purpose, and inspiration to create something meaningful for myself AND everyone who decides to be a part of it.

Last week, I hosted an “Expansion Call” for my friend Maru Iabichela’s program Infinite Receiving. Maru hosts these calls 3 days a week for the duration of her 90-day program. Since she was going to be in Dubai, she asked a couple of her closest friends and co-creators to host the calls in her absence.

I woke up at 5:45 am to get ready and head to the office before the 7 am call.

I absolutely LOVED the experience of starting my day that way. I could see what she was hooked on it, and of said that the calls had been as much for her to channel the messages she needed to receive in her own life, as they were for her community. I’ve seen Maru soar the past year, from when she launched her program to now.

I totally get it. She has created something that, by actively and consistently participating in the content she is creating, and propelled her growth in a big way. And she’s taking hundreds of women along for the ride with her.

It’s beautiful and inspiring and something I want for us.

So am I being selfish by creating a program that meets my own needs? A program that’s designed to give me what I need to show up more fully, be present, grow and continue to BE MORE…

Maybe.

But I also know that the more I share from the heart and create based on what I KNOW is needed and WORKS, the more I am able to be of service and uplift others to join the path I’m on.

It’s co-creation and symbiosis.

It’s supply and demand.

This a community, we’ll grow together. For at least a year, and beyond.

But don't just take it from me ;)

Here are what a few of the Be More Members wrote about why they joined:

“I was feeling a bit stuck lately and have a strong desire to rewrite my story. I go overboard in a lot of areas in my life (mostly alcohol consumption/spending problems) so gaining a healthier relationship with myself where I feel the feelings instead of dulling them/pushing through them with drinking/spending. I'll never reach my health and finance goals if I continue on my current path.”

“I joined because I need a tribe of people that want to "go deep", to explore the good, the scary and the neglected feelings that I've numbed all my life. I am doing this "work" alone, which is necessary, but I also know a group is powerful and we can learn from each other. I'm ready to go to the next level and know with Caitlin as our guide - a guide that won't be "above us" but that will also share and get down to the dirty, gritty truths that allow us to grow and thrive.”

“My main reason for joining is to have a community of supportive like-minded women. I don't really talk about this part of my life with many of my friends and family and really value having a space to share things and talk about self-development and growth and positive life changes. And to also support others going through similar, or any kind of struggle really. And with Caitlin guiding and coaching I will continue on the path I'm on!”

I’m already adding new components, such weekly live Facebook Live training on Mondays and Fridays and I'm sure we'll keep adding as we go and more inspiration strikes.

All of the info right here. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to reach out!

We officially kick off this weekend!! Are you joining us?

xoxo,

by Caitlin Padgett

The Craziest Thing Just Happened (Dispatch from 34,000 feet in the Air)

 

Hello hello!

How are you?

I'm dropping you a line from 34,000 feet in the sky! I'm still processing an incredible, soulful, affirming 4 days in New York City.

Something that struck me so clearly was how EASY this trip was. I was able to set intentions and stick to them effortlessly. I was in a series of trigger situations and yet didn't have to spend extra energy or thought around drinking or not drinking or how much. I had a super packed scheduled and yet I honoured my energy levels and self care and am actually heading back to Mexico feeling rested.

While I spend time processing what really worked for me this time and how monumental one of the events was (sneak peak pics below), I thought I would share with you several of the blogs I wrote last year which are most of the "how to" from previous trips to was I used to refer to as "trigger city" - as I learned how to navigate New York City without alcohol, and of course learned so much about myself in the process!

PAST NYC Blogs:
"I got tipsy and I'm ok with that"
"It's My Birthday And I'll Cry If I Want To
98% alcohol free in NYC - wanna know how?

I also want to share something crazy that just happened, which I'm also still processing but it's so real for me right now that I can't not mention it!

After thriving my way through my stay in NYC, I am now having one of the biggest "I need a drink" moments that I've had in a long while.

I'm sitting on the plane from NYC back to Mexico, looking forward to getting caught up on work and my blog, and when I reach into my bag I realize that I have the WRONG COMPUTER!!

Somehow going through security I ended up with someone else's computer. I had wandered around, bought some gifts and snacks, and posted photos while at the airport because I knew I'd have 5 hours to work on the plane. So I pull out my computer as soon as we're able and immediately thought - this isn't mine!! But I couldn't allow myself to believe it until I opened it.

WTF. It's not mine. Thankfully this one has the person's name to enter when you try to log on, so I know his name. Mine computer doesn't have my name to log it, because it's not actually mine... It's a computer that was loaned to me when I spilled coffee on my computer and it was damaged beyond repair.

I immediately informed the flight attendants who are calling down to the airport but I probably won't know anything until we land in Mexico City.

I REALLY wanted to buy a drink. Actually, to be honest, I wanted the flight attendants to offer me one. They didn't, and I didn't buy one. I'm sipping on seltzer water, and then ordered a tea.

All I can do now is sit here and breathe deeply and wonder: "why is this happening FOR ME?" It's on repeat.

The woman sitting next to me actually commented on how calm I was while processing this. I then opened up to her and shared a bit of my story... that I was really proud of myself for not drinking given my history. And she said, "Of course. You are so much better off being present and really feeling what's going on rather than avoiding or clouding yourself from the outcome."

And she's so right, of course!! There is nothing I can do in this moment but have faith that it will work out and nurture myself through it. Stay present for the miracles that are surely happening.

Can you all take a collective deep breath WITH ME please? And send prayers that my/my friend's company computer will make it's way back to me and the reason for this happening is so much more awesome than I can even comprehend right now?

I really appreciate it, thanks!

xoxo

by Caitlin Padgett

Investing in Yourself

I recently finished my taxes (ok so full disclosure, I was late submitting my taxes this year because of the emotional/transformative vortex I found myself in and am only just emerging from).

As I added up my expenses, I was struck yet again by the amount of money that I had invested in coaching, professional development, courses, conferences, and retreats.

Want to take a guess at how much?

I spent 14,510$.

It’s a big number for me (for a lot of people, I’m sure).

However, as I sat contemplating that number - I felt nothing but gratitude.

Gratitude for the work I do.
Gratitude for the fact that personal development makes me a better professional.
Gratitude that my professional development is directly connected to my spiritual and emotional growth.

Gratitude that my work affords me the ability to invest so heavily in myself.
Gratitude for a line of credit with my bank that has helped me basically take out small loans for myself to cover these investments in myself.

Here’s the thing - in the past few years, I’ve invested a significant percentage of my earnings back into my business and MYSELF.

My first year in business, I spent close to 20,000$ on my coaching certification, working 1-1 with my own coach (at 900$/month) and other courses.

My second year in business, I scaled back significantly, but still spent almost 8,000$.

This year, 14,510$.

That’s over 40,000$ in three years!!

Why am I sharing this with you?

I think it’s important to be real about these numbers AND what it’s taken to myself to where I am today, both in life and business.

From the outside, people sometimes wonder how everything came together for me so quickly, or seemingly easily.

ie.
How I went from zero to successful online business in under a year.
How I’ve managed significant challenges in my personal life without derailing my emotional, physical and spiritual well-being - in fact, I’ve thrived through these transitions.

Yes, it’s taken a lot of work, grit, tears, grace, and forgiveness.
It’s taking a renewed commitment to myself, over and over again.
It’s taken a lot of SUPPORT, from the incredible community of friends and family that I have, and paid support.

I also want to be clear about something else.

About 5 years ago I took out a line of credit to pay for my life transition and continued education.

I had left my fairly well-paying consulting gig in Cambodia, but burned through my saving pretty quickly, going through a divorce, setting up a life in another country.

During my first year in Mexico I was earning PESOS and my combined earnings working in my dad’s restaurant and bartending were about 500$/USD per month!

I needed extra money to start funding my online education, which start first with an online business program for women entrepreneurs called B-School, and continued with several other biz and branding courses, then my health coaching certification with The Institute for Integrative Nutrition.

I’ve used this line of credit many times since, to help with these self-development investments or to pay off my credit card during the months I haven’t had as much income.

Yes, I’ve still carrying some “debt” but I see it as an investment in MYSELF - which is the most important thing I could be investing in.

As someone wrote on my recent Facebook post about this - I am my greatest investment.

I also know the ripple effect and believe the ROI (return on investment) is much greater than I can even quantify. I will see the ROI in my relationships, my daughter’s upbringing, my client’s successes, my ability to give back to community and so much more.

EVERY SINGLE PENNY has been worth it.

It’s interesting to me because I posted recently on FB asking people to guess how much $$ I”d spent on self-development this past year and I had a few people message me privately around the shame they’ve felt on the amount of money the spent on “themselves” ie healing and self-development and personal professional growth.

I’ve also had my own introspective process around spending. I realized that some of my original purchases were about worthiness and feeling not quite good enough on my own. I’ve developed a process of really checking in with myself and WHY I feel compelled to purchase a certain program before I had over my credit card.

I’m in no way writing this to suggest that you need to spend the same amount as I have, or even close.

I just think it’s important to be transparent about numbers - and it’s not often we hear the behind the scenes of what successful coaches and leaders invest on themselves.

I know that the investments I’ve made in myself make me a better a coach. If I’m asking my clients to trust in me and take the financial leap of investing in my services, I want them to know that I take investing in myself seriously as well.

In fact, I have what I now consider to be the equivalent of a professional Masters degree AND Ph.D. in exactly the kind of personal and professional education and healing required to effectively and conscientiously do my job well.

xoxo,

by Caitlin Padgett

The Power of Presence (mindful drinking part 2)

Hello!

Earlier this week, I was invited to participate in a traditional temazcal, a pre-hispanic sauna ritual. The adobe hut is circular and heated with volcanic rock. The ceremony is usually guided and the guide takes the participants on a journey of release and purification. The combination of the medicinal herbs in the water used to create steam, the visioning, the chanting and drumming, and teas sipped to hydrate create a powerful experience.

Ours lasted almost 2 hours. Divided into 4 parts, we set intentions during the first quarter, then chanted and released during the second, rejuvenated/integrated during the third and called in love and our visions for the 4th.

The second section was the most intense for me. The heat intensified, the steam was thick with the scent of the herbs and our sweat, the drumming and chanting vibrated my cells and the exertion made me light-headed. At one point I wondered if I could make it to the next break and thought about stepping out early.

However, that was the only time I was aware of my mind wandering. Every other moment was fully devoted, commanded even, by the experience.

When the guide finally called for the door to be opened, the light felt momentarily blinding. I felt my cells tingly as the coolish air caressed my skin and my lungs rejoiced as they filled with oxygen.

A cold-brewed herbal tea was passed around. We were instructed to take a sip and swish it around in our mouths before swallowing.

“Now notice the sensation in your mouth,” said the guide. "How does it feel to drink this liquid? What is the significance for you and your body?"

I was struck in that moment with the importance of mindfulness. Of how I was having this exquisite multi-sensory experience - my senses truly heightened. I felt the cells in my mouth receiving the hydration, the medicinal properties, the tastes, the temperature.

I immediate thought about the work we have committed to here - to Drink Less and Be More.

What if we brought this level of awareness to every sip that entered our body - alcohol or not?

It was one of the most powerful reminders that came to me during this Temazcalli experience. I left feeling recommitted to inviting this mindfulness into my daily living.

To sip with intention. To tune into what I am experiencing at any given moment.

Now, obviously we don't all need to jump into a super hot sauna every time we want to experience that heightened presence and awareness ;)

As Jon Kabat-Zin, one of the leaders in mindfulness research and awareness, writes "mindfulness is about living your life as if it really mattered, moment by moment by moment by moment.”

It’s about asking yourself, what do I really want or need in any given situation?

What is in the interest of my best self?

What does my body/mind/soul really crave right now?

What are some ways that you can bring more mindfulness into your daily life?

How can you use mindfulness as a tool for moderation?

I’d love to hear!

xoxo,

by Caitlin Padgett

A Super Cool Exchange and Some Cinco de Mayo Inspo (this one's a little different)

Hello lovely,

I’m just back from a much needed little mini-vacation to Oaxaca City. I have SO MUCH I can’t wait to share - thoughts on radical honesty, self-love, presence, self-accountability, slowing down, art, a new retreat in the works and so much more. I’m processing a lot and look forward to sharing these thoughts with you soon.

I’ve also had a series of posts brewing inside of me on the difference between moderate and mindful drinking.

I’ve come to realize that so much of what we do here is about WAY MORE than simply learning to moderate.

We go WAY DEEPER than talking about strategies and dive into the mindset, healing, and major lifestyle changes.

To kick off this series on Mindful drinking, I have something really cool and a little different to share.

First, a question that a reader sent me about finding a strategy for mindful drinking - that really works.

“I know people who are looking at me from the outside, aren't thinking I have a drinking problem.... many of my friends I've opened up to say, I had no idea!  And that's the thing... I don't get wasted alone or anything, it's always the occasional blackout WITH my friends which makes me feel so ashamed and regretful. I HATE browning/blacking out. That's NOT the point of drinking... But sometimes, when I'm with friends and they keep going, I want to keep going too... and I just 'forget' to think of the bigger picture and KNOW my limits.

How did you finally find your strategy that WORKS for you.... how did you have the self-control to HOLD yourself to the limits?”

I responded to her and told her I’d be writing a newsletter/blog on the topic and also encouraged her to post her question in the Facebook group (have you joined? If not, info on how to is at the end of this email)

One of the responses from one of our community members just blew me away, and I decided to share her words instead of mine this week.

It’s a powerful testimony to how to make the “Drink Less, Be More” philosophy of mindful drinking work for you.

When I first spoke with Aoife almost 3 years ago, we were both in tears during the initial consultation. She had almost given up hope that change was possible for her. I encouraged her to have faith and trust that a new life was available to her. She later became my most amazing copy editor for the book Drink Less Be More and an active participant in the beta group of the “Drink Less Be More Masterclass” (which will launch again in June - stay tuned!)

Here’s what Aoife had to say about her commitment to mindful drinking:

  1. “I made a concrete decision to change - no matter what - and prioritized this.

  2. ​You [the reader] spoke about a feeling of sometimes not caring and just wanting to let loose - I felt that a lot. What I did is I changed "let loose" to "self-soothe". There are more ways to let loose than through alcohol, that's just the most obvious one. Now is the perfect time to find others. Often I noticed that when I thought I "needed a drink" I was really needing soothing or reassuring or something else. Sometimes self-soothing involved listening to loud rock music and watching an action movie and sometimes it involved baking or knitting. I say be willing to broaden your definition of "letting loose" and experiment with things that are healthier for you.

  3. I never drink when I am in an emotional mood (e.g. elated, down or angry). EVER. That was when I was more prone to make poor choices before so I only drink when I am in a grounded place.

  4. Know the times, places and people you need to be careful around in relation to drinking. Prepare in advance for being in those situations or with those people and support yourself. Pub drinking was my danger zone and certain friends would really pressure me to drink. I still go to pubs occasionally but I won't drink in pubs (I prefer to have a drink with food or in homes of friends and family) and I have certain friends I just won't drink with.

  5. I planned when I was going to drink and how much. The "in the moment" drinking so often led me down a dark/dangerous/blackout path. At first, I needed to be really controlled about planning in advance. I'd decide in advance "I'll be out at lunch on Saturday, if I feel like a red wine, I'll have one." When I was going on holiday I planned in advance to have one drink each day. Planning in advance also built my self-belief around having control over drinking. Now I am confident I can make an "in the moment" decision (but I will still only have a drink if I'm in a safe place, with appropriate people, in a calm mood, not in a pub etc.)

  6. When you are having a drink, sip and savor. Really enjoy it. Also, if it helps, make your next drink non-alcoholic and totally different in taste, flavor or temperature. I might enjoy a glass of wine and then have a tea. Don't know why, but that helped me "draw a line" under the drinking part when I was starting to moderate and now I do it from habit.

  7. Lastly when you decide to change that means that things WILL change - and not only habits, but it's likely that you will change as a person - your priorities, your idea of what is fun etc. It can take a while to find your feet with this new way of being, but after a little while momentum builds and it gets easier. Other peoples perceptions and expectations of you change too. For so long I was "party girl", the one who could always be relied on for a night of drinking. It took a while for the people around me to accept that I wasn't going to be drinking to obliteration anymore. Now that they accept this, I can be out with them and not drink and it's not even mentioned anymore!

The last thing is just that for me, these changes have been soooo worth it! I have so much more money, energy, creativity. I feel like I can trust myself. I feel proud of myself instead of ashamed (as I so often was). So much of my time, energy and brainpower was locked up with alcohol. Now it's gorgeous to be able to have a drink if I want one but not to need it anymore, to feel social or relax or feel part of a crowd. Now my self-identity is of someone who has a healthy relationship with alcohol and that "pull" that used to be there to drink before just isn't there anymore. It took a bit of work to get to a place I am happy with, but it's so worth it.

I totally trust that you will find out what is best for you and I'm absolutely cheering you on in your journey. Let me know if I can help in any way.”

I hope that Aoife’s share was helpful for you to read!

If you have a specific question about mindful drinking - let me know!! I’d love to feature your question in an upcoming post on the topic.

If you liked hearing from a community member, also let me know! I can see how we can continue to share more features and success stories.

Make sure to keep reading for a yummy mock margarita recipe and tips for getting through cinco de mayo mindfully.

Xoxo

LIQUID TREATS

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Here is the perfect margarita mocktail mix to celebrate with mindfulness. Just mix together, garnish your drink rim (optional) and enjoy! If you have plans to go out tonight, remember to set you intentions BEFORE you head out. Think about how you want to feel during and at the end of the night, and work backwards from there. If possible, share your intentions with a friend, your significant other, or in the Facebook group! Of course, there's nothing wrong with opting out of the festivities and enjoying a mocktail at home - which is what I plan on doing!!

INGREDIENTS

  •  ¼ cup lime juice

  • ¼ cup lemon flavored sparking water

  • ¼ cup lime flavored sparkling water

  • ¼ cup orange juice

  • Agave syrup (optional/to taste)

  • ice

  • Optional: salt & lime to garnish

by Caitlin Padgett

Feeling pain is a privilege, and here’s why...

How are you this week?

My current status has gone from emotional rollercoaster (which I rode for the first few weeks of my separation) to “deep in it.”

Moving into my new apartment was the catalyst for this deep dive into my feelings.

Going through the motions of packing my things and leaving the home Luis and I had built together as we were expecting our daughter’s arrival was really hard.

Having space and solitude as I settled into my new apartment and tried to make it feel like home meant there was room to feel the deep sadness, disappointment, and pain that had been barely contained beneath the surface for the past few weeks.

And something I’ve learned about being truly present and willing to feel pain with no distraction is that what rises to the surface isn’t necessarily only about the current experience but may trigger feelings and pain that had been suppressed in the past.

Which is why one heartbreak can feel like revisiting all love lost in the past.

Here’s something else I’ve come to learn.

Feeling our pain deeply is a privilege.

It means we are strong.
It means we are resilient.
It means we trust ourselves enough to know that we can survive this.
It means that we have faith that after the deep dive we will rise again, and thrive.

Knowing this and being able to risk the uncertainty means that we are privileged enough to know that our survival isn’t in question.

For example, I couldn’t feel the depth of pain from abandonment and trauma that I experienced as a child and teenager because I didn’t yet know I was strong enough.

I had to make myself strong enough by stuffing those experiences deep down where I wouldn’t feel them because to feel the depth of betrayal would have been unbearable at the time.

Some people go through their entire lives in survival mode, never feeling safe or supported enough to truly experience their pain.

The tragedy here is that when cut off from experiencing the depths of our pain, we are also denied the opportunity to feel the heights of our joy.

One of our FB support group members posted this quote a few days ago, and it resonated so much with me.

“Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our whole lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy - the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

Brene Brown

Something else I’ve learned?

It’s really hard to be brave by yourself.

It’s really hard to take risks if you don’t know that you are supported.

That’s why healing truly takes a village.

Here’s who I have on my team:

  • A healer/therapist/energy worker/flower remedy expert/astrologer who I see at least every two weeks if not more frequently

  • A holistic business coach

  • A thetahealer, frequencies energy worker and essential oil expert on heavy rotation for consultations

  • A handful of “biz besties” who understand the complexities of being a mom,entrepreneur, and woman

  • Hundreds of women who are part of several groups I PAY to be a part of specifically because they bring together women who share the same values as me and who are committed to similar paths of healing, growth, and expansion

  • Supportive and loving family and friends

  • Our Evolve: Drink Less Be More support group

  • My clients - yes, I consider my clients are part of my team because their commitment to taking risks and showing up for themselves courageously reinforces my commitment to my own health and healing, daily!

It is because of this “village” that I feel privileged enough to deep dive into pain.

I’ll give you an example from a client.

She had basically been sitting on her homework of doing a fire release ritual because she was afraid of what would come up for her. After spending some time reaching out to the Facebook group, opening up to her husband, going to a support group locally AND having two sessions with me where I supported her to take this big step, here’s what she wrote to me:

“I feel amazing today!  Light, full of energy, and thinking that life has so many opportunities for me!  In January I was laying on the couch thinking I truly was finished with life, that there was nothing left for me.  I was done.  Moving from bed to couch to bed day after day.

Today I am feeling like I want more hours in the day because I have so many things I want to explore, to do, to create!”

Now, my client wouldn’t have had this experience if she’d stayed stuck in her cycle. She reached out and set multiple wheels in motion to create some massive shifts in her life. She felt fear, which even paralyzed her briefly, but she was able to move through it because she knew she was supported and safe. She had her team in place to hold her if need be. And now she’s experiencing the privileges - the full of energy and optimism.

Do you have your team?

Do you feel supported and safe enough to move beyond simply surviving into truly thriving??

There are still a few spots available for the Spring Cleaning Fire Ritual and private coaching at my super special "3 years in biz" offer. If you didn't get a chance to read about it on Monday, click here. 

It would be an absolute honour and privilege to be on your team and to support you during this powerful season of transformation and growth.

xoxo,

by Caitlin Padgett

I'm celebrating 3 years in biz!! With something new I've never offered before...

Hello lovely reader,

On Friday I wrote to you about my rebirth - and celebrating the fact that I although I’m going through a challenging time - I’m taking care of myself to a whole new level.

It is affirming to see how far I’ve come, and I’m ever grateful for the tools to see me through this transition with as much self-compassion and grace as possible. (in case you missed Friday’s email, click here)

Now, for the first time, I’m sharing some of the tools that have served me to release the past and welcome a new way of being in a relationship with myself and my life’s circumstances.

Spring Cleaning Releasing Ritual

I have used fire rituals powerfully over the past few years. I have been able to release old stories keeping me stuck, forgive and let go of pain, reset patterns that seemed to keep repeating themselves, get clear on my desires, invite news stories and receive clarity, abundance, and faith in the process.

I’ve fined tuned a process that will support you with whichever story you are ready to rewrite or pattern you forward to changing.I have facilitated these rituals for groups as large as 100 and intimately with my private clients.

Now, for the first time, I am offered a customized “Spring Cleaning Release Ritual” for YOU!!!

What’s included:

  • A deep dive session to get clear on where you are stuck or what needs clearing (60 mins)

  • A customized set of questions to guide your reflection and preparation for the ritual

  • A step by step plan for creating your unique releasing ritual

  • Accountability in actually following through with the ritual

  • A 30-minute integration call within 30 days after the ritual

This offer is ONLY available as a Spring Cleaning. Breakthrough calls will be scheduled between now and May 1, integration calls will be scheduled through to May 31.

To confirm your Spring Cleaning Sessions, click here to book your breakthrough call and confirm your payment by clicking here and entering the angel number amount of 223$ USD.

This is a POWERFUL healing process that will help you release anything that no longer serves you so that you can move into the next season (and the rest of the year) lighter, with more clarity, and ready to welcome a new story and new YOU.

Private coaching super special spring offer:

I realized, thanks to Facebook’s “On This Day” feature, that I launched my online business exactly 3 years ago this weekend.

WOW!!

What an incredible, wild ride that had taught me so much and for which I have INFINITE gratitude amounts of gratitude. As I just wrote on my personal Facebook wall “I've been doing through a particularly challenging transition recently and it's my community / clients / readers who help anchor me, who remind me of my own tools, strength, and resilience, and why showing up fully and feeling all the feels and refusing to run/numb is the best thing I can do for myself and others.

What an incredible three years it has been... I am infinitely grateful to have been given this path to follow. It truly is a privilege to live this laptop lifestyle, using my gifts to be of service and to do "work" that fills me up and keeps me striving to be a better human every damn day.”

To celebrate 3 years in biz, I’m offering a super special opportunity to work with me 1-1, and I only have THREE of these spots available.

At 333$/month (regular $400) this saves you a WHOLE MONTH off of 6 months coaching.

The thing is, I really only have 3 of these spots available because I take a limited number of private clients at any given time to ensure the best possible experience and container of support for each and every person I work with. Once these spots are full, they are full. Not only that, I will be putting my rates up when I have more spots available because I haven’t raised my rates in 3 years!! (Since launching my business, I have invested thousands into my continuing education and professional development and raising my rates is long overdue).

To set up a strategy session and see if private coaching is a good fit for you, please click here. Remember, there are only 3 of these spots available so if you think this is something you'd like in your life, don't delay! My private coaching will not be offered again at this price and once these spots are filled, I won't be taking any new clients until the end of May at least, and my rates will be higher.

I hope that you have a beautiful weekend and took time to celebrate what you are proud of and steps you've taken in your rebirth/renewal and towards a new you.

I would be absolutely honoured to support you to dive deeper into your healing and transformation this spring.

Shall we?

xoxo,

by Caitlin Padgett

Breaking Through

She leaned in, tears streaming down her face. Bringing herself to the edge of the sofa where she was sitting, she crossed the gap towards where I was sitting across from her with her warm embrace.

“Caitlin, you are so so brave,” she said.

“Being true to yourself is one of the hardest things you can do, especially when it goes against the status quo. And you are doing this without numbing, you are staying present through the pain. You are so brave.”

I hugged her and sobbed. I sobbed tears of release, tears of sadness, tears of relief, tears of exhaustion from trying so hard to be someone I’m not.

When I finally pulled away, I asked: “What do I do now?”

“You need to be honest,” my therapist said. “You need to tell the truth.”

I knew the answer, yet hearing it made it real.

Yes, I have to tell the truth.

Not doing so has led to a kind of soul-level dissonance that has caused anxiety, headaches, irritability and a stronger craving to disappear back into numbing behaviors than I have felt in years.

The truth is that I wasn’t happy in my relationship. I didn’t feel as though I could be a whole person, or fully accepted as the complex person that I am. While I’ve been growing in so many areas of my life, engaged deeply in healing and transformational work, and have had a major impact on the lives of many - I consistently shrank at home. I had to keep myself small and contained and within a role pre-determined by culture, religion and societal expectations.

So why was it so hard to be honest, even though honesty and authenticity are two of my foundational values and imbued in everything I do professionally?

I’ve thought a lot about this.

I see it over and over again with my clients and friends.

As women, we’re trained at making due. We probably have a biological imperative to do so. We try to make the best of things, especially when there are children involved. My mama bear instinct is strong and the thought of doing anything to disrupt my child’s life was unbearable.

Luis is also an incredible father and human being - he’s kind, funny, generous and protective. Things weren’t horrible, by any stretch. When it came to providing for Luna and giving her a solid foundation, he was there 100%.

But when it came to trying to what I needed to continue to grow and show up fully as an integrated, whole woman - we were worlds apart.

I won’t share much more out of respect for him (of which I have a tremendous amount) and the transition we are going through but I did need to share what was happening with me.

You may have noticed that I’ve been quiet for awhile and this is partially why.

The other part is that I was focused on hosting 12 incredible women for our first Lucir retreat here in Puerto Escondido. It was a life-shifting experience for all involved and creating the energetic container for the magic to happen required my full presence leading up to and after the event.

One thing I can say with absolute certainty is that I am so grateful for this path I walk. I am so grateful for the tools I have learned and created because I am putting them ALL to use now.

Since Lucir wrapped just over 2 weeks ago,
I have started doing the thrive threesome daily again (from Chapter 2 in my book, let me know if you want to know more).
I’ve been sleeping a lot and drinking a lot of tea.
I’ve been exercising, dancing or doing yoga daily.
I’ve watched a lot of sunsets and spent a lot of time stargazing.
I’ve had a massage and booked another one for this Saturday.
I have stayed on the emotional rollercoaster ride even during the terrifying drops that make me want to jump off.
I’ve been feeling ALL the feels and staying present.
I’ve stayed with the pain and uncertainty.
I’ve resisted the temptation to distract myself with social engagements, dates, or new projects.
I’ve stayed mindfully connected with my clients and community and am so grateful that we have each other.
I’ve been planning some new offerings that feel in total alignment with where I’m at right now and the past year of powerful transformation and can’t wait to share more info on that soon.

There you have it dear, a summary of the massive shifts happening in my life.

Thank you for understanding that I simply couldn’t write for awhile - I needed to stay present with what was happening for myself before trying to explain it to others.

There will be much, much more coming your way soon as this butterfly takes flight and processes her transformation.

Until then, infinite gratitude and love,

xoxo

by Caitlin Padgett

This Woman (And Her Gifts) Changed My Life

Dear reader,

Have you ever had one of those “pinch me” moments - when you realize just how far you’ve come in a short amount of time?

I had one last week, when I was about to take the stage at an event called Practical Magic Live, in San Antonio Texas.

I was transported back in time to exactly a year prior, when I had the opportunity to share my story on a media panel at an event organized by Selena Soo in New York City. It was the first time I had shared my story out loud.

Sure, I’d been writing my blog consistently and had recently published my book, but to get up on stage and speak the truth of my experiences was a whole other level of vulnerability.

It was such a scary thought that I might not have said yes to the opportunity if I hadn’t already known and trusted Selena so deeply.

Selena is my publicity mentor. But she is also so much more than that. She constantly inspires me as an entrepreneur, business strategist and most importantly, as an incredibly kind, intuitive, generous and compassionate person.

The growth I have experienced as a result of her programs and learning from way she lives her life and handles her business has completely transformed my life.

That’s what hit me last week as I confidently took the stage to share my story as an invited featured speaker.

This week, Selena released a series of value-packed FREE resources, including a case study of yours truly!!

With her guidance, I was able to turn an initial “no” to my pitch to FORBES into a YES - which was another incredibly publicity win for me last year. You can read the entire interaction here. 

Selena’s been endorsed by industry leaders like Marie Forleo and Danielle LaPorte. Early into her business, Ramit Sethi gave her a big guest post opportunity, which has led to over $100,000 in new business.

You might be thinking, “That could never happen to me!” I hear you! - and I used to feel the same way!!

But what you might not know about Selena is that she struggled when she first got started.

As an introvert, she was afraid to put herself out there. She also didn't have any clients or traditional credibility.

If you’re curious, I invite you to check out her special training...

"Get VIP Access to Media, Influencers, and Online Stars."

You’ll learn how to connect and become friends with “out of reach” people, who can give you the publicity opportunities of a lifetime.

You’ll also learn how to get highly coveted endorsements, positioning you as a leader in your industry.

 I've been watching this free video and taking a TON of notes. Whether or not you are a business owner or entrepreneur, there’s a ton of gold in here about how to relate to those people who you aspire to connect with but seem out of reach.

I encourage you to dive into these free resources while she has them available and look forward to hearing your favourite takeaways in the comments below!!!

Have an amazing weekend!

Xoxo

by Caitlin Padgett

I want to get drunk and have random sex.

“I want to get drunk and have random sex."

Those are the exact words I typed into a message to one of my best friends at the beginning of last week.

“Ok, let’s talk asap,” she quickly messaged back.

She knew that this was an SOS call.

I needed support, stat.

It wasn’t that I had actually gotten drunk and slept with someone other than my partner… it was that I wanted to.

I had a strong desire to numb out, to absolve responsibility, to disappear into another person and the excitement of an adventure, even momentarily.  

This caught me off guard - given all of the work I’ve done and given absolutely wonderful my life in so many ways now.

Why on earth would I want to self-sabotage?

It was a reminder, as my other best friend and spiritual advisor gently reminded me, that there is more work to do.

A reminder to pay attention, and to notice the painful feeling or fear that I was trying to hide from.

“Honey,” she said, “You are on a rapid upswing. You are stepping into your divine calling more fully than ever before. You recently led hundreds of women in profound breakthroughs and awakening. You held space for transformation and facilitated a life-changing experience. Then you came home... and are grappling with how to integrate the awareness of just how powerful you are.”

Truth is, expansion isn’t always easy.

In fact, after this last event I’m referring to, we spent a lot of time talking about “expansion hangovers” which often come up when we get home or come back to reality after an awakening.

I spent a lot of time in the past 2 weeks reflecting.

What was the fear and painful feeling I was trying to numb out?

I realized that my potential scares me because it means the potential for change.

The bigger stages I see myself on and the impact I want to have means that life at home will look different.

My own personal path of growth, transformation and impact aren’t in sync with my partner’s, and that brings up questions I don’t have the answers to… which is, of course, scary in and of itself.

I’ve also realized that my divine nature is to SHINE, to sparkle bright, that one of my gifts and reasons for being is to be that beacon of light that others are drawn to - because it helps give them permission to let their own light shine.

When I go away for work and step onto the stage, or when I facilitate group processes or work with clients one-on-one - I am fully in my nature. I am this version of myself.

Yet when I’m home - I often feel as though I need to dim the light - because it’s uncomfortable (and sometimes even threatening) to some of those closest to me.

This is painful.

The thought of disappointing my partner or letting him down by not being who he needs me to be is also painful.

Pain previously led to my running and numbing behaviors, which is why this desire seemed to come out of nowhere, so suddenly.

But of course it didn’t come out of nowhere, it comes from very real feelings simmering only slightly under the surface.

This is hard for me to write, I’ve gotta be real about that.

But it’s also my very real and loudest truth right now so much so that it would feel bizarre to share anything else.

I don’t have all the answers yet and this isn’t resolved.

What I do know is that this is an opportunity to do things differently.

I won’t get drunk.
I won’t have sex with a stranger.
I won’t disappear into my work or get so busy I don’t have time to think.
I won’t shut down.

I will stay present.
I will create space in my day for spiritual connection and reflection.
I will ask for support.
I will be honest about what is going on for me.
I will focus on my holistic health (mind, body, spirit)
I will continue to do the things that make my heart sing and spirit soar.
I will stay true to myself and my calling.
I will stay whole and integrated and allow myself to show up fully in all situations and occasions (because denying myself this wholeness is also incredibly painful and soul crushing)

Thank you for listening.

Thank you for being a part of this wild journey with me.

We’re doing it! This thing called life. It’s not always pretty and certainly not always perfect and yes, it can be pretty painful at times.

And, as another new friend and coach Gordana Jakopcevic (whom I met at Infinite Receiving in Texas) recently wrote:

“Pain is telling you what you need to heal and fix in your life.
When you are denying your pain, you are denying your purpose.”

I know that this pain is part of the process, and I refuse to numb or hide myself from it.

Knowing we’re in it together and that you’re here with me makes it so much easier- for that I have so much gratitude.

Xoxo

I’ve posted this before but it seems fitting to post it again (it’s obviously something we all need reminding of over and over again)

Marianne Williamson says:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us….
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

by Caitlin Padgett